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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/23/2018 in all areas

  1. 14 points
    RETIREMENT BONUS The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000... The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with £96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em,' which he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?' The Old Chief calmly replied, ' The Falkland Islands'
  2. 12 points
    On my way home tonight a traffic cop stopped me he said "you drinking"I said You buying" we laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
  3. 11 points
    I dunno, I tend to ascribe to the dying art of treat others how you want to be treated. I'm not always rewarded in kind, but it mostly works and it tends to be universal.
  4. 8 points
  5. 8 points
    Hi all Fonts of Knowledge, I was sat back thinking about what I believe are the main points to surviving as an Expat in the Philippines and have drawn up the list below. I don't mean never walk close to shop doorways, How to start a business, what to look out for when buying land etc. but I mean attitude and mindset. What would you add? Love the Girl and not the Place! I fell in love with my Wife in Abu Dhabi and not in The Philippines before we decided to settle. Gain respect and Loyalty from your Asawa's Family. I don't mean pay them I mean, eat, live, sleep like them and never look down on them. Never flaunt your wealth. If you can, employee some family. They never ask me for money. Treat everyone with respect, from a street kid, to a Congressman. Don't get involved in local politics. Keep your opinion to yourself. Abide by The Philippines Laws. You will ALWAYS be a visitor. Maybe you will be there 20 years but always a Visitor. Invest and put your roots down where you feel safe and supported by others. You may be fit today but nobody can tell tomorrow. Have a Plan B. Just in case. Don't try and change the Philippines. You change to fit in. Keep up to date with local news. Be one step ahead just in case. Never live above your means to keep up with the Jones. Be yourself. Remind yourself, everyday, why you are in The Philippines and not your home country. Be grateful to be allowed to live in The Philippines. If not then Leave. Adapt to Philippine time and Processes. Count to 10. Be patient and don't compare to your home country. If so. Go Home! Get insured and insure your Asawa. You will sleep better! Spend your time productively and not staring into a bottle. You can do that back home! Drive as if everything wants to kill you. Keep your wits about you and be street smart. Never make a Filipino lose face. Visit your local Captain and say hello. Treat him or her to a coffee. Visit your local Police Station and maybe take them some food. Don't miss things you don't have or can't get. Embrace those you can. Remember your not on the Moon so stay in touch with people. Join the Best Forum you can. This one! Treat everyone as you would wish to be treated. No matter how high up you may feel you may pass the same people on the way down The Most important. Enjoy LIFE in the Philippines. Thats the points I have. Anyone else have a nugget of wisdom or ten? I look forward to hearing from you. Paul
  6. 8 points
    And don't believe everything you read in forums....... Except our's
  7. 8 points
    I'll say a few words about addiction ,in order to help qualify what I'm about to type ,is I was offered a job by the most expensive rehab in the UK as a trainee addiction councillor and I've also had many hundreds of alcoholic/addicts listen to my talk on the matter. On a personal level i have been clean and sober for over 23 years There is about 10 % of the population that have addictive personality, the rest don't, there are many who can take or leave addictive substances for example ,not everyone who drinks booze becomes an alcoholic and there are recreational drug users ,the problems arise when that individual with the addictive personality comes in contact with the addictive substance Some people who are not adictive get hooked on things like cigarettes etc , the people who have the addictive personality get it through a genetic disorder ,it's in your genes I could go into the whole subject in depth but I won't, people don't wake up one morning and decide to become an addict / alcoholic , no one wants that I their lives but some are born to become addicts , it's a tough one to understand , only the practicing addict understands just how difficult it is to live that life , I still talk to people about it ,I'm on first name terms with rock and roll superstars ,I sit next to peers of the realm ,politicians ,dustbin men ,bricklayers ,nurses and doctors at meetings , ,it's an illness that tells you that you do not have it , ive seen people in an absolute wretched state crying becauae thwy cannot stop . So consider yourself fortunate that you do not have that particular gene No offence meant or intended in this post
  8. 8 points
    I have degenerative disk disease and have had five back surgeries. The last was about 10 years ago. I was on pain meds for about 2 months prior to the surgery and about one month after. When I started to cut back on the pain meds during recovery I felt like I had the flu but it it went away after a few days. Then as I was showering I discovered that I still had an extended wear pain patch on my upper arm. I removed it and again felt like crap for about two or three days. That experience scared the HELL out of me and here is why. At no point while taking the pain medication did I ever feel drunk, drowsy, happy or any mood changes. What I am saying is that it is very possible to become physically addicted to pain killers even when taking them as prescribed and under the care of a physician. I had always assumed that people got hooked because of the psychological side of taking drugs but that is not the case for everyone. When required I now take paracetamol or naproxen sodium for pain. I would still take opiates if required for surgery or extreme pain, but at least I would be more cognizant of the risk involved.
  9. 7 points
    There are many news sites with the story which appears to come from a released document on the findings so who's story or reporting it really is we wont know. In my country it's not nice to call people Homos
  10. 7 points
    Well sick of sitting in non moving traffic in a taxi with no AC, now I can sit in traffic with AC..... Leap of faith..... Chevrolet trailblazer 2.8L
  11. 7 points
    My 4X4 didn't cost anything like that.
  12. 7 points
    I said to my wife, "When I die, I'd like to die having sex." She said, "At least we know it'll be quick
  13. 6 points
    I can't see that it would hurt, but if you are thinking of evidence in court then the Philippines has this weird view that eyewitness testimony trumps video footage. Perhaps they are paranoid about photo-shopped video but it is what it is. So if the people standing around and watching tell the cops that you are guilty then there is a good chance that the judge will also find you guilty, regardless of webcam. But again, it can't hurt and if something serious happens it may give your lawyer a start on how to handle the case.
  14. 6 points
    This from Headzup, a local Facebook site that acts as a local news source in Dumaguete Pretty bad when you have to assign a police team to guard the dump.
  15. 6 points
    How much you want to bet he raised some kind of stink about being closed down?
  16. 6 points
    Snowy I went to the Doctors too yesterday I said doc can you help me out.....he said which way did you come in? I said no, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains....he said pull yourself together man.
  17. 6 points
    I would not buy anything. I believe you have not met yet so first things first.
  18. 6 points
    Do you think they will use a concrete mixer
  19. 6 points
    Addicted people don't think straight. Their need for the fix overwhelms everything else. The wires get crossed. Many of them get hooked when young, or down and depressed, or emotionally displaced. They are truly pitiful, their souls hallowed out by addiction. These people need treatment and help rather than prison. Pushers different story.
  20. 5 points
    A good idea, but needs a lot of research, Guam is a territory and falls under Federal law. I am not sure if they could legalize some things even if they wanted to, just a thought
  21. 5 points
    Excellent point and it had me going for a while. So I went back to the article and had a good look at the pics. I can see the police going through the room while there is daylight coming in the window. That does not happen at 2 AM in Philippines, (either the police showing up OR the daylight in the window), so my conclusion is another journalist who screwed up AM and PM.
  22. 5 points
    Like a lot of you I have wondered how long will I live and how much money do I need? Most of us go over on a pension of sorts + a bit of a nest egg. I treat that nest egg as it is, for emergency use only and the pension for living expenses. A no brainer really, if you can't live on your pension over there, you certainly can't live on it back home. My advice live within your means and over there you will live a comfortable life, plenty of info to make a formal decision written throughout these posts to costs of living in the PI's.
  23. 5 points
  24. 5 points
    From Facebook. Subject to Search Warrant (SW) on illegal drugs by the members of the Drug operatives PDEA, PDEU and PNP PIB-SOG, the subject is a US National identified as one JAMES THOMAS HUBERT 47 around 6:10am of April 24, 2018 The suspect is temporarily residing in Piñero Subdivision Mangnao Dumaguete City. With the current crackdown on drugs, one would think that using or selling drugs here in the Philippines wouldn't be a good idea.
  25. 5 points
    Was it a windy day?
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