question about language

[expatriate]

Hi,

I'm a guy and I have a male Filipino colleague whom I've known for 3 years now. I was trying to use some tagalog slang with him. is it appropriate for me to address him as "bes"? how and when to use this correctly?

because some google entry suggests that it's a bit "touchy feely"? dont wanna send the wrong message suggesting that I'm gay, or worse, him to be offended because he thought I'm taunting him as gay.

Thanks

[chris49]

1 hour ago, expatriate said:

Hi,

I'm a guy and I have a male Filipino colleague whom I've known for 3 years now. I was trying to use some tagalog slang with him. is it appropriate for me to address him as "bes"? how and when to use this correctly?

because some google entry suggests that it's a bit "touchy feely"? dont wanna send the wrong message suggesting that I'm gay, or worse, him to be offended because he thought I'm taunting him as gay.

Thanks

"Bes" is slang. Not Tagalog. It is used almost exclusively by girls to address a close intimate female friend. It is wrong in this situation. It is "touchy feely" as you say.

The word you want is "Kuya"........brother.

Another common word might be "Pare". But since you are not godfathers linked to each other you could not use that.

I would go with "Kuya" in the situation you describe.  Is he gay? A lot of Filipino's do address gays as "Bakla". But it's too intimate for your situation.

[Gator]

Btw, Kuya is pronounced Coo - ya; with a slight emphasis placed on "coo"

[expatriate]

I see

so, can this be used to taunt another guy? so, it's like I'm demeaning him and calling him a girl when I'm calling him "bes"?

can he take it that way?

[expatriate]

and he's not gay, he's married. does it make any difference if he's gay or not?

[chris49]

Just now, expatriate said:

I see

so, can this be used to taunt another guy? so, it's like I'm demeaning him and calling him a girl when I'm calling him "bes"?

can he take it that way?

Never heard it used like that. Girls use it on Facebook. It's not usually used in conversation.

[chris49]

Just now, expatriate said:

and he's not gay, he's married. does it make any difference if he's gay or not?

I dunno. You mentioned that above. I dunno what gays call each other.

You were asking about language.  Kuya is your word. I'm not analyzing beyond that.

[Queenie O.]

12 hours ago, expatriate said:

Hi,

I'm a guy and I have a male Filipino colleague whom I've known for 3 years now. I was trying to use some tagalog slang with him. is it appropriate for me to address him as "bes"? how and when to use this correctly?

because some google entry suggests that it's a bit "touchy feely"? dont wanna send the wrong message suggesting that I'm gay, or worse, him to be offended because he thought I'm taunting him as gay.

Thanks

Expatriot--you might want to ask if he is of Tagolog or Visayan origin.  For Tagalogs "bay" (sounds like bye) or "pare" (sounds like pari) are  familiar names to call a fellow friend. Kuya means brother  in Tagalog and would be more a term of endearment that a female might use for a male friend. "Tropa" is a young person's name lately, for someone considered to be in their fellow "troop" of friends.

If he is Visayan, "brad" (sounds like braahd) is popular as a friendly name for a fellow male friend. Tagalogs use brad too. (short nickname meaning like a brother or friend.)

 I think "bes" might be short for best friend and is something probably female friends might call each other, but I'm not completely sure.

Hope this helps!

Queenie

Edited October 13, 2016 by Queenie O.

[Jack Peterson]

3 minutes ago, Queenie O. said:

Expatriot--you might want to ask if he is of Tagolog or Visayan origin.  For Tagalogs "bay"  or "pare" (sounds like pari) are  familiar names to call a fellow friend. Kuya means brother and would be more a term of endearment that a female might use for a friend. "Tropa" is a young person's name lately, for someone considered to be in their fellow "troop" of friends.

If he is Visayan, "brad" (sounds like braahd) is popular as a friendly name for a fellow male friend. Tagalogs use brad too. (short nickname meaning brother or friend.

Hope this helps!

Queenie

  I call everyone "Bert" as they do 'Joe' always get a smile as they know I am not one for offending, That way I don't get a wrong Name & they all enjoy a greeting  Those that don't, Well Should we bother?

[Bruce]

Did it not occur to anyone to just call him by his NAME? He probably has one. Most people do. Usually get a name around the time of birth. Sort of a legal issue.  

But then of course there was my father. Born in the 1930s, his name was 'baby boy' on the birth certificate which he did not change until he and my mother traveled to Europe in the 1970s and he needed a passport. If you were to ask my father (a retired attorney) why he waited until he was over 40 to 'correct' the birth certificate, he would tell you that there was no hurry as he always knew who he was!