"The Philippines" (what do We want from the islands)

[Jack Peterson]

 Finding where to put this was a thing I decided here, it is not about our Filipina's, not about the Culture, it is mainly about US!( the Foreigner)

 Yes we can all moan about so many things (and we do) It is no secret that I love it here and the people But there are days when even I, can get Sooo aggravated by it all. So with all we have to put up with, our Whinges about This and That, the Brownouts and Price hikes I ask you What do we want from these People and their Land, Many times a question will come up, why are we here and we get many answers but let me ask the Question from another Angle, What do you want from it all, what do you expect over the next 5 years.

 For me as a kick off, *I had travelled the World for many years in another time and when the time came to settle for my Retirement I chose here because the lifestyle would and does suit me I could make the money fit the Living required * I Read many Blogs from many disgruntled people I read bad mouths on other Forums, I ask myself why are they here then? the answers of course are  probably it is the only Country that they can afford to be in, and get away with so much, it is not of course, we know from many Topics and Posts that there are places equal and in a lot of cases Cheaper, So why here?

Not going to Waffle any more I am sure that our members here are much more intelligent and thoughtful to give proper answers ( Not just the sort of thing we read about, "Wine women and Song")

 SO, What do we (the Foreigner) want, from the Philippines 

Please G & G's let's do this from a personal angle not the family and the lovely wife/Hubby thing, we know all that from the past Topics It would be nice to hear about ourselves for once 

 OK it is Sunday Morning and I have time on my hands, if you don't want to do this it's OK  but and there is always a but the naysayers will upset me if they start, sometimes we need to be serious.

[Old55]

Love.

Family and friends who live there that we love.

And a certain Australian guy there who owes me a cold beer. You know who you are sir! 

[Steve GCC]

I want to grow old gracefully, retire 15 years earlier than I could if was to the UK.  Watch the sun go down from the terrace with a cold San mig.  Potter around the garden and do a bit of diy here and there.

And of course enjoy the wife and daughter and relaxed lifestyle away from the rat race.

[Queenie O.]

Good morning Jack.  I agree that because of experience and circumstances the Philippines was and is a good fit for me. The recent motorcycle accident that my husband had kind of adjusted my thinking about my expectations though. Living by the ocean with beautiful views and warm weather, garden has been very wonderful and pleasant, but the ability to do that, meant living quite far from the city. My husband and I  feel that have been generous with family and have helped out neighbors and people in need in the time that we have been here. I do things around the house and cook etc. but without reliable helpers, by choice we have had do things ourselves.  I've realized now, my husband was really doing the lion's share of running things by his choice.

I won't go into the whole story about our town's lack of money and poor infrastructure, but being that he was brought to the rural health center with terrible help given there and the rundown multicab ambulance that ended up taking him blessedly safely to the closest decent private hospital, and the whole ordeal worked out favorably and he slowly recovers at home on crutches resting at home.

My husband's two close brothers and my sister-in law have been kind and helpful, and we've been able after a not very good one, gotten a great and helpful driver to help in the meantime with errands and doctors appointments. My husband's favorite aunt visited twice and has been kind, and a couple of family members stopped by the hospital during the five day stay. As for the rest of the family including his highness, the newly ordained priest that we helped effort and money wise, has never shown up or even texted a how are you doing uncle?

In discussing our future just recently, my husband and I promised to each other, that since we have made a commitment to living happily here, that we will try to be as independent and share jobs and things around the house and garden more equally and with equal enthusiasm. Being mindful, and taking nothing for granted is important too. We still want to be true to our beliefs about helping people out when the need arises, but as far as family goes, we're going to be more choosy as to who we want to invest time in. It seems that because of jealousy or expectations family has not treated us as we had hoped to be treated, so we plan to step back from them and only stay closer to the family that has been fair with us.

My husband will fix his motorcycle back over time, but promises to be more judicial on how often he uses it while living out here in the wild wild west of the province. During all this, we purchased a 2009 Isuzu Altera that he had found in a local dealership earlier. It is in great condition and automatic, so that will make travel easier and safer and more fun for us.

These past few weeks have been an awakening of sorts for both of us I think, and the accident was also a positive in that we were able to realize more clearly, about the good fortune that we have been given so far here. Expectations about family have been changed, but we feel more sorry about their own inadequacies, and don't really feel angry or bitter about the sometimes realities of family here.

I guess our /my plan is to be as true to myself, and strive to live as joyfully as I can in spite of the many  foibles and unexpected situations that exist here. I spite of it all, there isn't anywhere I'd rather be. I'm grateful for my family contacts back home more now, but I still continue to get a big kick out of living here.

I hope that I didn't run on too much and that my answer might be the same or food for thought for others.

 

 

[Dave Hounddriver]

8 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

I ask myself why are they here then? the answers of course are  probably it is the only Country that they can afford to be in

I ask that sometimes and I wonder if its just that this is the only country that will put up with them.  I don't know of any other country where you can show up speaking English and being understood and adored by pretty girls and have an immigration official keep stamping your tourist passport for three years for a pittance.  Then leave, come back, and repeat.

 

For me its the beaches 

[Kuya John]

As a non resident (expat)

I have the privilege of looking at the inside from the outside!

I could tell you about all the nice things about Philippines or some of the not so nice things, which have been said before.

I sure could do with some of that sunshine right now. However looking from a practical point of view. the cost of living defines

the life style one can enjoy in PI. The feel good factor comes from not having the stresses that come with living in the West;

The bottom line, I feel for most Ex-pat's, is being able to keep reasonably fit and well, the rest falls into place.

Do I envy you Guys n Gals, you bet your life I do!

 

Queenie, sure hope your Hubby is well on the mend and better days ahead.....God bless

 

[intrepid]

After my first visit to the Philippines to meet my girlfriend and now wife, I had no desire to return.  Mostly because that first visit was a short ten days and only saw south side of Manila and north part of Laguna.  I saw no nipa huts and no beaches.  By the second visit we had built a nice home in San Carlos City Negros on a small lot that my wife bought eight years PD,(pre Danny).  Wife's mother, her brother with CP, and a sister for caretaker live in that house.  We use the upstairs as a vacation place when we travel.  It was during this visit I first decided I wanted to live here sometime after retirement.  My plan was eight months here and four months back in Maryland.  Of course along came a baby and now some more thought.  With school, plan 1 was not going to work.  A few years away from retirement so more planning.  Finally realized we ere going to have to make a decision to live one place full time and just visit the other.  I wanted to live in relaxed Negros but my wife wanted Laguna.  Her reasons were better schools for our daughter and also that I could get anything I wanted whenever I wanted it, and good hospitals.  After a few more visits I came around to her reasoning on location.  Now the plan had changed to retire and move to the Philippines until our daughter finished school and college and maybe we would return to the USA but in a warmer area than Maryland, and visit the Philippines at that point.   One evening several years back we were watching the news in the US and another story of people in nursing homes being abused and assaulted.  I myself had investigated several of these incidents over the years.  But this time it was different.  I'm getting older and I told my wife, I hope I never have to be in a nursing home.  In an instant, the plan was changed and finalized.  We would move permanently to the Philippines and if I ever lived long enough and got bad health, we could afford to hire a live in caretaker and nurse to care for each of us.

So, here we are!

[Queenie O.]

39 minutes ago, Kuya John said:

As a non resident (expat)

I have the privilege of looking at the inside from the outside!

I could tell you about all the nice things about Philippines or some of the not so nice things, which have been said before.

I sure could do with some of that sunshine right now. However looking from a practical point of view. the cost of living defines

the life style one can enjoy in PI. The feel good factor comes from not having the stresses that come with living in the West;

The bottom line, I feel for most Ex-pat's, is being able to keep reasonably fit and well, the rest falls into place.

Do I envy you Guys n Gals, you bet your life I do!

 

Queenie, sure hope your Hubby is well on the mend and better days ahead.....God bless

 

Thanks for the kind words Kuya John, I told him and he was glad to hear it.

[Queenie O.]

Sometimes what we want and what reality seems to give, sometimes puts us into conflict here I think.  Expectations and wants are sometimes colored over time, and we have to learn a new way of living and adapting here. It seems that in the western world, the way people, family and friends neighbors acted was more predictable and straight forward. In the Philippine culture, the "crab mentality" of not wanting to see progress and good fortune for your fellow man, is sometimes an issue here. In America at least, I think that people embrace success and good fortune in their fellow man, because it inspires and gives the individual  hope  that these good things are possible for anyone else to achieve and hope for too. Also, as another example, for a culture that considers themselves very religious and family orientated, an adopted child is often treated here as not a real blood family member, which disturbs me.

I remember last year attending a graduation, and I was sitting with one of my sister- in- laws, whose son was graduating. At the time of presenting of graduation diplomas, I instinctively just clapped for every student. She asked me why I was not just clapping for our family member, and I said that I was just happy for all the kids and wanted to share their happiness on that occasion. She then said,  " That's why you Americans are ahead in so many ways to we Filipino people here"  I found that rather odd and sad that she would even think that. She is a school principal and her mindset seemed at odds with my own.

Maybe I'm just more of a ponderer of things, and these differences at times give me pause. It doesn't take away from the many things that I find wonderful and endearing about the people here, but I have found that what I came to expect before I moved here permanently, has not always turned out to be the reality that I found. It's all part of finding what works for you as you settle and adapt here I guess.

Edited February 26, 2017 by Queenie O.
spelling fix

[Dave Hounddriver]

10 hours ago, Queenie O. said:

In America at least, I think that people embrace success and good fortune in their fellow man

In the west, we are taught about 'crab mentality'.  We are taught that when you want to succeed at something there will be 9 people telling you it cannot be done for every 1 person who says "there may be a way".  So we are taught to try and try and look for ways to succeed at something rather than listen to the 9 who say it cannot be done.  To me, that is similar to crab mentalilty and it is evidenced on this very forum.  How many people come here and want to do something that "cannot be done" and yet they do it anyway?  Note:  Quite often it really can NOT be done but the point is that we westerns will try and try until we succeed at getting what we need from living here.  Locals often give up, believing they will never reach their dreams so why even try.  Many of those locals learn from the "western mentality" (as opposed to the crab mentality) and go on to accomplish great things so we do bring some good with us.