A Bar Girl Stealing Your Heart?

[Old55]

Some wise answers here. You were right as a friend to be a reality check and honestly speaking your mind. It's more concerning he/they think "deeply in love ❤️" after one week time.

 

[Jake]

5 minutes ago, Old55 said:

Some wise answers here. You were right as a friend to be a reality check and honestly speaking your mind. It's more concerning he/they think "deeply in love ❤️" after one week time.

 

I bet a nickle that he is just deeply in lust.  

[Gratefuled]

No suggestions still but I might add that even girls not met in a bar can turn out to be devils and gold diggers.

Then, there are those who work in a bar just to survive. Some might make a man a good wife out of gratitude for saving them from an ugly life.

I remember a movie with Tommy Lee Jones, "Heaven and Earth" I think was the name. anther movie, "Miss Saigon."

I'm willing to bet that many GIs who married foreign girls that they met in bars had happy marriages.

Then, there are guys who made a bad choice and married a local girl, just to have a messy divorce later.

 

[bigpearl]

Infatuation, simple. He is an adult. I had a similar thing happen last July, 5 of us flew over to Phuket for our mates 50th birthday, this mate by the way has a Thai girlfriend with a 12 year old daughter, they have been together for 4 years now and yes he picked her up in a bar. One mate that came for only a week as he is very busy said he didn't have time for girly bars and was not interested but he did roll along with us to the different bars,,,,,,,,,,,,, 5 days later he is with a lovely girl and still with her, flying back and forth as well as flying her to Oz twice now, they seem very happy. We were all concerned for him and the speed which this happened but as said he is an adult and now very happy.

Maybe you 'have' helped your friend Bows00.

Cheers, Steve.

[robert k]

It's easy to think things are better than they are in a new relationship because both parties are still paying attention. It takes effort which can be described as "work", to make a relationship work over the long haul. Money can also be considered a "store" of work so even gold diggers are looking for validation, just in a different way.

[Dave Hounddriver]

7 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

put the shoe on the other foot

Lets do that.  So the gentleman who has been married 30 years "rescues" the bar girl and supports her for 3 years until she gets older, fatter, and nags more.  Does he trade her off on another bar girl?  Now look at it the other way, the bar girl seems to love and honor the same gentleman for 3 years until someone younger, fitter and richer comes along.  Does she trade him off on the richer model?

Ask yourself which happens more often, or is more likely to happen, and then you have succeeding in joining those of us who generalize.  But as has been mentioned, not all girls (or gents) are the same.

[frosty (chris)]

Tell him to join this forum to get and idea how things work in the P.I and maybe he will read some posts on girls and relationships. Had a mate in Aus married a Thai bar girl, still going strong 25 years on. She was and still is a very beautiful woman, good luck to your friend.

[mogo51]

16 hours ago, bows00 said:

I have a friend that I brought over to the Philippines for the first time after he underwent an ugly divorce with a wife of 30 years.  We are both in our 50's and are professionals in the states.  My intensions were to show him a good time to recuperate and have a new start on life.  The mistake I made was choosing to go to a KTV bar in Manila.  It started off great.  Three employed girls joined us, we drank and sang for about three hours and at the end of the night, he ended up hooking up with one of the filipinas.  

Now one week later, he is deep in love.  My concern is that he is an American guy that has lived the happy family life for the past 30 years and was never exposed to other women.  And I understand that he is a grown man who should make his own decisions, but as a close friend, I can't help but think if all this is a huge mistake.  I can't convince him otherwise.  

My current plan is to just back off...  any suggestions?

I had a very similar problem here in Pattaya about 5 years ago with a long term friend.  Despite all my warnings before he came over, he did exactly the same thing.  The end result was, he is no longer my friend.  My advice, if you have already advised him of the dangers of the road he is taking, then do no more, back off and wish him luck!  If you want to keep a friend.

[bows00]

8 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

The thing that many do not consider is that the bar girl is a human, most do what they do to feed their kids and if you had no choice and your kids screamed in hunger what would you do ?

I am fully aware of the conditions in the Philippines, however, my concern is with my friend first.  I knew him practically all my life.  I totally agree with some of the posts that mentioned that this is NOT love.  After a period of one week with a young 25 year old filipina, this is stemming from pure LUST.  

It is difficult for men to separate their emotions from good sex.  

[bigpearl]

11 minutes ago, bows00 said:

I am fully aware of the conditions in the Philippines, however, my concern is with my friend first.  I knew him practically all my life.  I totally agree with some of the posts that mentioned that this is NOT love.  After a period of one week with a young 25 year old filipina, this is stemming from pure LUST.  

It is difficult for men to separate their emotions from good sex.  

What did you think would happen when you came here with your mate? Blame yourself, you took a kid to a candy store with a fist full of dollars, we all understand your concerns but now you have to sit back and let it run its course, as mentioned earlier point him in the direction of expat sites to let him learn about cultural norms, he may pick up on the serious stuff but doubt it.

I'm sure we have all been down this path with good and bad results.

Cheers, Steve.