Saying it how it is

[stevewool]

After just a few years of being married to my beautiful wife plus the family too i have come to the conclusion that i must say what is on my mind whether this hurts a few people or not, but if i dont say it , it hurts me .

So after all this time there has been some ups and downs concerning a few members of my new family, may i just add this that with my own brothers and sisters i tell them the same but we all seem to get on with each other still.

Anyway back to the new family, many may know about what i have wrote these past few years and some of the problems that has come our way.

I am still not on good talking terms with some members of the family because of what they thought they could do to me and what they have done to my wife, but my wife forgets these things and just moves on, i cant because they treated me as a fool and someone who will be there to bail the family out rather then themselves, and what names they called my wife, then they thought it was good to not speak to her for 8 months, that is why i dont speak to these members.

Should i let bygones be bygones and move on and try to stay one step ahead of these folk, i know i may have to do this for the sake of my wife, or do i just ignore the people who have done this.

Emma is wanting to go to a family reunion as all the members will be there soon, but i have had nothing to do with these people.

It feels so hard having to see these people who have done me wrong but again Emma just smiles and say they are family.

I dont want to say lets bury the hatchet , because it might be i my head that it goes.

[Jack Peterson]

11 minutes ago, stevewool said:

It feels so hard having to see these people who have done me wrong

Steve mate, Just do what your conscience tells you Cos they won't bat an eyelid one way or the other, UNTIL They need something 

Trust me mate bin there and got a few "T" shirts 

 Like I tell my Daughter Babe I love you I just don't like you at this Time.

[PaulB]

Steve

The world becomes a smaller place everyday and my advice would be to rise above this. Don't let them see they have gotten to you. A smiling face will make them so uncomfortable and uneasy as it won't be what they expect.

Just my view.

Paul

[Dave Hounddriver]

48 minutes ago, stevewool said:

Emma is wanting to go to a family reunion as all the members will be there soon, but i have had nothing to do with these people.

Family ALWAYS come first with a filipina, even if they hate them.

[robert k]

Steve, the advise to follow your conscience is always good. If I felt someone was walking all over me I would coat myself with glue and apply tacks so they would lose the desire. I wouldn't worry much if someone said to my face what they are already saying about me behind my back. They will always see you as someone who could fix their problem with the wave of a checkbook, they refuse to think of a reason why you shouldn't and just remember that you didn't.

[Jake]

5 hours ago, stevewool said:

I dont want to say lets bury the hatchet , because it might be i my head that it goes.

The nasty extended family of my wife Judy have nearly devastated my marriage on more than one occasion.  So I know where you're coming from Steve.  Last time I check, marriage is between two people. Anyone outside trying to influence Emma, tell them to bugger off!  I strongly recommend that you maintain that British upper lip.....without that, you would be speaking German by now.

   This or this:  Yeah, I thought so......

 

Edited April 15, 2017 by Jake

[stevewool]

Thanks boys , as always its good to listen to what others may have been through , as i sometimes open my mouth before my brain engages

[Gratefuled]

I like Robert K's answer. 

As for me. I'm ok with my in-laws. I do not mingle with them and they do not bother us in any way. They are free to visit anytime and wife is free to visit them. 

Since it is awkward for me to be among them when I do not speak Visayan and they cannot speak English or refuse to in my presence. I like to be in the middle of an active conversation or at least understand WTF is going on. 

Better for me and all concerned to just let me be. I'm better off joking and having fun with my neighbours and/or with a few expats that I have met at the malls over the years.

[sonjack2847]

Consider what you do very carefully as it may backfire on you whichever way you handle things.If I had family like that my initial reaction would be to tell them where to go,but you have to consider what they will do by way of getting back Emma.Just don`t send any more money.Good luck Steve hope it works out for you.