Filipina-Foreigner living outside Philippines divorce statistics

[Old55]

Over the past twenty years my wife and I have become friends with a very large number of Am-Fil couples here in the USA. The divorce rate is become alarming. I've read typical US divorce rate is somewhat over 50% I think? The Am-Fil couples we know of is roughly over 75%. Several couples close to us this summer have split, it's the ones that we thought had very solid good marriages. I've always kinda held the belief the chances of Am-Fil couples were better than the average my wife and I now think otherwise. It's sad. A very close couple to us just this afternoon let us know they were divorcing soon my wife and I are hurt by this. Sorry guys and gals I'm venting but it's been a painful day. 

My wife and I have a wonderful relationship and work on it all the time we have to because she married me! 

[scott h]

It would be interesting to know the particulars Old. Age difference? Economic situation? Stuff like that before drawing conclusions.

I know that when the bases were open a large number of young yanks married Filipinas. The divorce rate was astronomical. It was a standing joke that it was just a green card factory. 5 years and done.

I am going to go out on a very thin limb here and predict that if a young professional gets a job here and marries a professional Pinay and they move to the states their chances are pretty good. If an older man moves here and marries a younger woman and remains here the chances a pretty good also. If an older man marries a younger woman and takes her back to the home country the chances of a long term marriage goes down dramatically.

28 minutes ago, Old55 said:

A very close couple to us just this afternoon let us know they were divorcing

So using this as a test case (and we have no idea of who they are) Are they living in the states now? What if any is the age difference? Is he on a fixed income (retired now)

[bigpearl]

21 minutes ago, Old55 said:

Over the past twenty years my wife and I have become friends with a very large number of Am-Fil couples here in the USA. The divorce rate is become alarming. I've read typical US divorce rate is somewhat over 50% I think? The Am-Fil couples we know of is roughly over 75%. Several couples close to us this summer have split, it's the ones that we thought had very solid good marriages. I've always kinda held the belief the chances of Am-Fil couples were better than the average my wife and I now think otherwise. It's sad. A very close couple to us just this afternoon let us know they were divorcing soon my wife and I are hurt by this. Sorry guys and gals I'm venting but it's been a painful day. 

My wife and I have a wonderful relationship and work on it all the time we have to because she married me! 

Sad indeed Old55, while I realised the divorce rates were rising every year here in Oz and also from what you say in the States I was not aware that Fil-Am divorce rates were so high, possibly the same in Oz? 

One has to ask why, not just Am-Fil statistics but all. Perhaps with equality, government assistance, media hype and support groups etc. it is easier to get out of the marriage, and appears to be a normal and accepted by society these days, 50 odd years ago when my mother and father separated and then divorced some 6 or 8 years later (yes that's how long it took back then apparently) us kids grew up with the stigma of separation and the "oh you poor thing" your thoughts? From my own personal experience most breakdowns occur because of financial inequities, and hey this can be perpetrated by both sides

I saw on the news the other day, a loving couple celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary, well done, I hope I live to 75 let alone with one person but that would be nice.

Hope your friends seperation and divorce is amicable Old55.

Cheers, Steve.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

About the only Fil-Am couples I knew were in my Navy days.  And there you get a skewed view anyway.  The military divorce rate is already crazy high.  But just looking at all the factors (age, culture, religion, money etc) I could easily see the Fil-Am divorce rate being higher than the average.  Especially if you take her back to the US...

[Old55]

The marriages most likely to fail include two things.

Large age differences lets say 20 or more years.

We know of a few that work well. In each case the husband is truly a good man and has money the couple has children and are happy. Two or three we know of the man is more than twenty years older and the lady is hot. In each case the lady only has access to the money while married to the guy (who has real wealth) as he has a very good ironclad prenup.

The second is money.

The money is slippery in some cases the husband simply is unable or unwilling to earn enough for a simple but comfortable life. It's understandable an educated intelligent highly motivated woman would quickly earn more and then start looking for a younger guy who is above her level.

The last group is the ones we find difficult to see fail. Great matches guys who are successful smart motivated good guys married to Filipinas reasonably matched in age who are also educated from good family background and so on. This is the group we find painful to see fail. 

 

[bigpearl]

16 minutes ago, scott h said:

It would be interesting to know the particulars Old. Age difference? Economic situation? Stuff like that before drawing conclusions.

I know that when the bases were open a large number of young yanks married Filipinas. The divorce rate was astronomical. It was a standing joke that it was just a green card factory. 5 years and done.

I am going to go out on a very thin limb here and predict that if a young professional gets a job here and marries a professional Pinay and they move to the states their chances are pretty good. If an older man moves here and marries a younger woman and remains here the chances a pretty good also. If an older man marries a younger woman and takes her back to the home country the chances of a long term marriage goes down dramatically.

So using this as a test case (and we have no idea of who they are) Are they living in the states now? What if any is the age difference? Is he on a fixed income (retired now)

Interesting observation Scott, lol not so good for me/us, my partner is 31 years younger, met in PH, lived one year there while he was working, been living and working in Oz now for nearly 4 years (perm residency) now and all good. We plan to move back to PH in 2 years or less. Could this be the downhill slide? Hope not. Work work and more work is needed to keep any relationship functional as long as both parties contribute to the joint outcome, hopefully a life together.

OMO. Thoughts.

Cheers, Steve.

 

[scott h]

7 minutes ago, Old55 said:

We know of a few that work well.

Give us the stats on the one you referenced in your original post. That will give us a base line

[sonjack2847]

I wonder if pressure from the family has anything to do with it.Money is a bad one and if a lady is in a foreign country and lots of younger men give her attention she could quite become tempted,especially if she is not really happy at home.

Edited August 23, 2017 by sonjack2847
Added "happy" as I `m a dope and forgot it first time.

[Old55]

18 minutes ago, scott h said:

Give us the stats on the one you referenced in your original post. That will give us a base line

I can't honestly say we know anymore what relationship will or will not survive long term Steve. I guess that's why I posted in the first place we both have been taken aback and saddened by this. Sorry, but this is more of a personal vent then any real facts or value. 

[davewe]

The only US govt. stats available are general statistics for K-1 Visa applicants, with the divorce rate at 20%. 

My experience isn't as long as yours but the result is different. Of the 100+ Fil-Am couples I knew in my city, there was only 1 divorce. That guy had married and divorce not one but two Filipinas. Now I am sure the women were not perfect but he picked them and then dumped them. He's now working on another girl. He's a pretty successful guy and if I had to venture an opinion would say that he's simply a serial marryer.

Frankly, there are many guys in my group that - how should I put this - it's shocking that the wives stay with them. And yet in so many cases the wives do. Guys who are old (that includes me) guys who are deadbeats or borderline deadbeats, guys who are huge, etc. And yet all of them have marriages over 10 years.

Filipinas are still women and you have to treat them well. But I have not seen the get a green card and dump the husband kind of results. Of course this is based on 5-6 years experience; if I check them all out in 20 years who knows. Of course by then I'll be too damn old to give a damn!