The ugly embarrassing foreigner

[davewe]

2 hours ago, Mike J said:

My wife has shared with me on multiple occasions that other Filipinos, even strangers, have told her; "Your husband is a nice man, he is not like other Americans."  On the one hand it makes me feel good about how I am perceived, on the other it makes me feel embarrassment for the stupid way that other foreign men have acted.  We are all fortunate that the Filipino people are for the most part a very forgiving people.

I have had that same experience several times, as expressed to my wife by family and even strangers. In all cases there was nothing I was doing that was particularly nice and respect worthy. Just not being a jerk. As you say my first reaction is it's nice to be perceived positively. But in reality the comments were more about how other foreigners are perceived.

As to Tom, I think he did the right thing, but it's certainly a case by case situation. In other circumstances it could have blown up.

[JDDavao II]

20 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

Was I wrong to say anything? Should I just mind my own business and allow this to continue bearing in mind the staff there are like my family and I dont think they should be summoned with the word dick he??

1

I think you were well within your rights as a fellow customer, fellow foreigner, and fellow human being. 

[Kuya John]

7 hours ago, davewe said:

We are all fortunate that the Filipino people are for the most part a very forgiving people.

From my experience in Europe, our hosts are only forgiving for so long.

Bad manners are not acceptable at anytime in my book and it is upsetting when ignorant and drunken people think they have the right to behave in that way.

Whatever your nationality you have a duty to show respect and not offend your host country's population.

JGF spoke up, I would of done the same, however I can recall two colleagues who in separate incidents in the UK, intervened in arguments which cost them their lives

Edited November 13, 2017 by Kuya John
spelling correction

[sonjack2847]

13 minutes ago, Kuya John said:

From my experience in Europe, our hosts are only forgiving for so long.

Bad manners are not acceptable at anytime in my book and it is upsetting when ignorant and drunken people think they have the right to behave in that way.

Whatever your nationality you have a duty to show respect and not offend your host country's population.

JGF spoke up, I would of done the same, however I can recall two colleagues who in separate incidents in the UK, intervened in arguments which cost them their lives

Dammed if you do and dammed if you don`t.You have to read each situation on it`s circumstances.

[ClearSky]

On 11/12/2017 at 12:46 AM, Jollygoodfellow said:

Was I wrong to say anything? Should I just mind my own business and allow this to continue bearing in mind the staff there are like my family and I dont think they should be summoned with the word dick he??

 

Your fine,  however would not suggest the same course of action for just anyone...  Not everyone has the ability to assess the overall situation.      If you had a child or family in tow yourself,  then keep out of it.  If your by yourself or with another guy(s) that are of like mind then it is noble to defend other friends.

 

[JDDavao II]

16 hours ago, ClearSky said:

Your fine,  however would not suggest the same course of action for just anyone...  Not everyone has the ability to assess the overall situation.      If you had a child or family in tow yourself,  then keep out of it.  If your by yourself or with another guy(s) that are of like mind then it is noble to defend other friends.

 

Agree. I know that I cannot intervene in a situation like that because of physical limitations. As The Man With No Name said in one of those Spaghetti Westerns, "A man has got to know his limitations."

[jman]

if he that bad and you really want rid... he is probably behind on his visa stay..they only need his name..... last case scenario of course

[virginprune]

On 11/13/2017 at 7:02 AM, Mike J said:

My wife has shared with me on multiple occasions that other Filipinos, even strangers, have told her; "Your husband is a nice man, he is not like other Americans."  On the one hand it makes me feel good about how I am perceived, on the other it makes me feel embarrassment for the stupid way that other foreign men have acted.  We are all fortunate that the Filipino people are for the most part a very forgiving people.

This too has happened regarding myself. This is not usually concerning behaviour good or otherwise but tends to be more about how I mix in, stop to chat, socialize with locals etc. Rather that some foreigners can be aloof, which gives off the vibe that they feel superior even if unintended. My German neighbour a case in point. What does it take to smile, say hello and treat with respect, my parents taught me that.

[hk blues]

On 04/12/2017 at 11:18 AM, virginprune said:

This too has happened regarding myself. This is not usually concerning behaviour good or otherwise but tends to be more about how I mix in, stop to chat, socialize with locals etc. Rather that some foreigners can be aloof, which gives off the vibe that they feel superior even if unintended. My German neighbour a case in point. What does it take to smile, say hello and treat with respect, my parents taught me that.

Agreed - It costs nothing to be polite, and may actually buy you some brownie points for future use. I tend to think that people who act aloof, are aloof. 

[Reboot]

I thought Germans didn't smile and preferred invading neighbors.

Edited December 8, 2017 by Reboot