Naysayers...can't stand them.

[Balisidar]

Hi all,

 I've been planning and preparing for my retirement to the Philippines since I met my wife at Clark AFB  in 1986.  We've lived in the Philippines for seven years together and travelled all over the islands.  We've made lots of trips back and forth from America.

During the course of my career I've talked to various family members and co-workers about my plans.  Many of them have no understanding what it's like to live in another country and how wonderful the experience can be.  Many of them think that there ARE no other countries that are as good or better than America.  Now that my time is getting really short (less than three years) they keep saying things like. "Aren't you afraid of Abbu Sayaf", "What about Duterte?" , "Won't you miss your kids, grandkids, Apple pie, etc, etc".

I explain that we have thought about all aspects of living in the Philippines and to us the Pro's far outweigh the con's.  Will we miss our kids and Grandkids?  Sure but that gives them a great opportunity as we are planning on buying their air plane tickets to visit us so they can see more of the country.  My kids have been to the Philippines many times but the grandkids haven't.  We have even thought about convincing the grand kids to stay with us in the Philippines when they are ready to go to college so they can attend college there.  

Anyways the total ignorance of the naysayers totally confounds me.  I wish these people could be more tolerant and supportive of my plans.  Sometimes I wonder if it's just jealousy that I'm getting out of the rat race that is America and they can't.  I don't really need their approval but coming from family especially makes it a bummer.😁

Has anyone else experienced people with attitudes like this?  

[scott h]

36 minutes ago, Balisidar said:

I wonder if it's just jealousy that I'm getting out of the rat race that is America and they can't.

you got in one buddy

[Clermont]

35 minutes ago, Balisidar said:

 

Has anyone else experienced people with attitudes like this?  

Yeah mate, reading different threads on this sight, I'd say negative attitudes from family members and friends are common. Media reports and social media are mostly to blame for this, if it's not dramatic, it's not worth writing about. You've been here, lived here you know the score, as you get on that plane to go there full time, give them a smile and just think about what their missing out on, good luck. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

3 hours ago, Balisidar said:

Has anyone else experienced people with attitudes like this?  

Yes, but there are different degrees of Naysayers.

The extremely negative person will talk about being afraid of the Abu Sayaf and you can deal with that, comfortable in the knowledge that your chances of an encounter like that are similar to getting struck by lightening.

The moderately negative person will talk about having everything in your wife/partner's name and you should be afraid that she will take you for all you got.  It happens and we should always watch as the husband is the last to know when things go south.

The honest person, (and we have many on this forum), will tell you what the negatives are and the reasons certain people should not come here.  But we also tell the positives.  For example, we often tell young people that they should not come here with no money as the opportunities for earning money are not here like they are in other countries. I guess that makes us Naysayers from time to time.

So the point is:  Listen to the Naysayers and decide whether they have valid arguments or are just being negative people.

 

[Old55]

I think you hit on the major reason, ignorance. They simply don’t know the facts about Philippines or how you wish to live your life.

[Jack Peterson]

9 minutes ago, Old55 said:

I think you hit on the major reason, ignorance. They simply don’t know the facts about Philippines

 

Jack

Morning All ( in a very positive mood Today [so far] 

[Mike J]

Yes it is common.  I have lived here full time since I retired four plus years ago.  I think a lot of the things you hear come from people reading the news.  One thing the news organizations know is that "negative" news seems to be what people want to hear.  Poverty, crime, corruption, vigilante killings, typhoons, volcanoes, etc, these are big news.  Who wants to read about a warm and friendly people, a country where Americans are still welcome unlike much of the world.  Who wants to read about a country where health care is affordable?  Those of us who live here and make it home know that the Philippines is no paradise, but neither is it a dangerous, disaster ridden country.  It is a developing country and has it's share of problems.  The United States is a developed country that has it's share of problems.  People ask me "what is it like to live there?"  I tell them that it is a country that you will either love and want to stay, or you would never consider it as a place to live permanently.   To live here and be happy, or at least at content, depends mostly on two character traits:

1 - Do you like people who are "different" from you in values, culture, outlook, etc?

2 - Are you mentally and emotionally flexible, can you get past frustrations and problems or do you allow them to build up?

[Jake]

25 minutes ago, Mike J said:

1 - Do you like people who are "different" from you in values, culture, outlook, etc?

2 - Are you mentally and emotionally flexible, can you get past frustrations and problems or do you allow them to build up?

Triple LIKE Mike J!  

[BrettGC]

I experience much the same to varying degrees from different people.

My kids, who are well traveled, are happy and a little jealous at the same time; but they also have the attitude it'll give them somewhere to stay in PI,  2 of the 3 of them have been there and loved it so they "get" it.

My parents, also well traveled, are happy but a little worried and keep reminding me to stay away from Zamboanga, so at least they're knowledgeable in their caution.  For right or wrong, they see Duterte as a bonus on the safety side.

Most of my ex-navy mates are jealous, in a positive way, and some of them already live there.

My civilian friends' attitudes range from extreme negativity to wholehearted support.  This seems to be based on how much they've traveled outside the Western sphere if at all or straight-out parochialism borne out of some accident of birth and their Australian nationality. 

See a pattern here?

 

[Jack Peterson]

6 minutes ago, BrettGC said:

See a pattern here?

 just some food for thought here, be happy and  Stay happy it suggests