As many of the board members are of the more "life experienced" type I thought this might be of use.
About 5 years ago I went on a 5 day fast to try to clean up my body a little, it involved a week of raw food and then 5 days of herbs, Bentonite clay and organic apple juice plus LOTS of water. On the fourth day I heard a “plop” as I peed but paid no real attention, later that day I heard more “plops” and there on the side of the toilet bowl was a lentil sized/coloured stone, I collected a dozen of these over the next day or so. I thought they were kidney stones but on checking up info on the net it seemed unlikely.
As I was due to leave for Thailand I decided to wait till I was there and then go to the Pattaya International hospital to have it checked out. I had also been having blood in my pee after exercise (round of golf for example).
Had a scan and the specialist informed me that they were bladder stones and that I had “too many to count” still in my bladder and that was what was causing my bleeding, the stones were chafing on the inner walls of my bladder and causing it to bleed. He also said that my prostate was a bit oversized and proposed that he would put a drill up my tonker, cut away some of the inner part of my prostate and therefore make more space for the stones to escape! It turned out that the “drill” was in fact a laser but scary as hell anyway.
They quoted me about $16,500 for the complete treatment including hospitalisation, medication etc. Like most men I decided to “sleep on it” and left Thailand without having it done.
Back in Tenerife I was nagged by my secretary into going to my own doctor to get a second opinion, his verdict was that my prostate was normal and I should go for a scan to see the state of the stones. As usual I had a lot of work stacked up after my holiday and I was happy that my prostate was normal so didn’t bother going for another scan. There was also the nagging thought that maybe the Thai specialist just wanted to earn some good money from the foreigner.
When I think back on things, I really was stupid to keep putting it off, I had most of the symptoms of an oversized prostate, frequent urination, urgency to urinate, incomplete bladder emptying, getting up during the night to pee etc. Some days it was worse than others so it was easy to believe that maybe it would heal itself.
After a harrowing two years of getting ripped off by my business partner, losing heaps of money, selling my house at a knock down price etc I ended up retired in Colombia. Last year I decided that it really was time to man up and sort out my problems. Went to see a specialist at the best clinic in Medellin, his report …….. my prostate was fine and that he would like me to have a full lower body ultrasound scan to decide what to do about the possible bladder stones. Cost of the scan plus other blood/heart/lungs/urine tests? Some $1,000 or so!
What did I do? Like most men I put it to the back of my mind haha. Alas, what I did not allow for was the gentle but firm insistence of Francisca that my health was important to her so I went to a different clinic to have a scan and tests (cost about $100) A lovely lady doctor did the scan and informed me that I had two very large bladder stones and a very much enlarged prostate. Included in the cost was a detailed report plus scan images etc. After that I had no choice but to make an appointment at the same clinic with a specialist.
His recommendation was to have surgery as soon as he could fit me in, he would do the two operations, remove the bladder stones and remove the inner part of my prostate at the same time. Braced myself for the cost ……. All in $2,000 YES that included his fee (cash only), the anaesthetist, operating theatre, two nights hospitalisation, drugs etc. OK even I could see the sense in going for it and getting it done.
Francisca had insisted that she would spend the whole time in the clinic with me and would not listen to me pooh poohing the idea. Of course she was right, the private room included a sofa bed for guests but no facility to order food but as there were several restaurants and cafes very nearby it was no problem. Her help and attention during those two days was invaluable. The operation was on the Saturday afternoon, booked into our room and paid in advance (no risk of non-payment if they made a cock up). The very young nurse made a hash of inserting a drip/drugs “receiver” into my arm and had to call for help as the vein she punctured started to leak under my skin.
Down to the operating room and time to sign a form stating that I understood there were risks that it could go wrong, some drug into my “receiver” and then a cold gel on my back and a spinal injection ……. Didn’t work enough so a second injection was given, by then I’d had more pricks than a naughty girl on a busy day. I was awake during the whole procedure but with a screen across my chest so that I couldn’t see what they were doing. They stuck a camera up my tonker and pronounced that indeed my prostate was very large and that they would have to operate as expected. The anaesthetist sat at my side till they had taken out the stones and cut away the excess from my prostate, he then took a photo of the offending items on his phone and showed it to me, was the phone sterilised? Four bladder stones and a chunk of red "meat". A prostate shoild be about the size of a walnut, they cut away 4 or 5 walnuts from mine!
After 90 mins in the theatre it was off to the recovery room, my legs were as light as feathers when one of the nurses asked me to lift them, incredible feeling. Thirty minutes later I was wheeled back to our room and reunion with Francisca. On the Sunday after the operation I had blood and urine leaking out of my tonker instead of going down the catheter as most of it was, it stung and was painful so Francisca called the nurse and the nurse called her boss so I had two lovely young ladies handling my tonker and balls with Francisca looking on, this went on for some time with stops to call the doctor for advice, she insists that I was getting a hard on at one point! It was lovely lying there bollock naked with three lovely girls gently touching, lifting and surveying my equipment.
Back home and my “doctor” looked after me splendidly, changing the dressings, showering me and ensuring that I lifted nothing or did anything that involved something that she could do. Wednesday night and I woke up with a stonking hard on (whoopee I hadn’t joined the 10% who have problems after a prostate op) On the Thursday I sneaked out and cleaned the pool while she was showering and making up etc as we were expecting visitors. BIG trouble for me! Had a short drive in the car for the first time, no problems so decided I would drive us to the clinic to have the catheter removed.
Friday morning arrived and just before we were heading out I had a call from a neighbour, he had come off his motorbike and broken his foot so we went and picked him up and took him to the clinic with us. As soon as we got into the specialist’s office Francisca opened her mouth and told the doctor about my pool cleaning antics …… talk about telling tales! Following a lecture from BOTH of them I agreed that a month of convalescence was a good idea. Time for the catheter removal …… I was not looking forward to this …… I’ve no idea what he did but after a few minutes of fiddling around down below he said brace yourself and out it came with very little pain apart from the final moment of removal but that was only a momentary pain.
We went for breakfast at a lovely vegetarian restaurant and then did some shopping for the Lake house. Bought Francisca a lovely long jumper for cool evenings which she can just decently wear as a mini dress. About 10.30 when we left the clinic, got home at 2.30 and had NO NEED TO PEE. Four hours without a pee for me? Unheard of! I was a bit wary of the pain for my first pee but it was only a little discomfort. My next pee was 6 ½ hours later! For any of you debating whether or not to get your prostate done I can only say that I feel such an idiot for putting up with the inconvenience for all these years.
Feeling absolutely great and peeing like a horse!