stevewool

Maybe she has no idea about what has been happening over the length of time, all she knows is that who ever she called you was sending goodies over to care for her, but now she maybe confused that the goodies have stopped. Hopefully none of this will bother the child .

Neck pulled back in , and I agree not everyone can see there wives/partners more often, work commitments, lack of funds, illness and so on.

There is no mention of the wife being unhappy in the relationship, and yes maybe she had a choice ,scam your husband or leave the house, maybe it started of as a few extra pesos then it got to gready we shall never know.

Sticks and stones,

It is your responsibility to look after your wife through sickness and through health , maybe seeing her more and how fit she was maybe none of this would have happened, you even said you was not keen on her father at the beginning, but still you left her there. She did not decide to scam you , she had no choice, but if you are believing that, No one can change your mind on that.

Well if it’s 3 years this coming April it sounds worst, out of 144 weeks you have managed to see her for 6 weeks, some may joke about that time makes a great marriage for some , the responsibility was down to you, and I am glad you are seeing yourself as not ruined , that’s a start to the road of recovery. i did not make myself clear about the 8 years it was myself and my wife I was commenting on .

There is nothing worse then thinking you are being used or have been used. Once you do find out that is what is happening you have two ways to go, you can stop it or let it carry on, it’s that simple. In my short time of being involved with a Filipina I have been diddled out of a few things , nothing major just a few items and a little cash, but once I found out , she was dumped straight away. The next time I thought I was being used was when I married one , life was great for a few weeks then it was can you send money for hospital bills for the kids, now this was not sent to me but to my wife, but as it’s my money I had a say in this, the problem is it’s not lots of money they are asking for but little amounts and this is where it can get messy, do you send the money because they are making you feel guilty about the kids, so you send it. Then the next time it’s for something a little bigger, school fees, and again it’s sent to the wife to make her feel guilty, and on and on it goes, money for a car , money for bills . This is where you have to make a stand either tell your partner to tell the people to stop doing this or you go direct to them all and say NO MORE, and stick to that, yes you can still give money gifts for presents on birthdays and Christmas . Its good to give and even better to receive but being involved with the Philippines make sure you are in control of your wallet and brain .

Mac no one should have to go through what you are going through. But what was you thinking or wanting, marriying a lady and in the 2 and a bit years you have been married you have seen each other face to face for 6 weeks, that’s not a marriage that’s a trophy wife to show people back home look what I’ve got. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but also being real about our needs for our future must be thought about, think on you have not just ruined your life ,you may have ruined your wife’s life too, ‘the cash cow has gone’. In the last 8 years of being married there has not been more then 3 weeks of not being with each other, yes we are lucky we live together in England. Sorry to be so harsh but I don’t think I can add anymore to this thread, good luck in what ever you decide to do .

If you are going to buy a new car , what do you get other then the car. Do you get so many years warranty plus is the warranty worth the paper it’s written on. What about getting the car serviced ,plus is there such a thing as a MOT , I have tried asking the back seat driver and all I get is Yer ,Yer to everything except the MOT thing . Now if I was to buy 2nd hand is that a minefield in itself .

Lots of great advice is given from many folk on here, plus lots more advice that people don’t want to hear or act upon too. Now as I don’t know you and your wife or the wives family all we can go on is what you are saying, now you are saying she has admitted lying about her health, may I ask who too and for what reasons, was she forced to do this by someone else. I am presuming here that you have not brought a house for you both too live in over in the Philippines so if she does live with other family members like her parents and living there without you being there to control things to your liking she is under her parents control, now this could be great for some people and families , but there are the few who could take advantage of this and before you know it You are on a road to a bad marriage. May I ask from being married those few years ago how many times did you visit your wife, plus before all this started was there a budget you was sending weekly/monthly , remember none of this is anyone’s business other then yours, but we are here to help .

Many of us have commented on this thread and let it be a warning to everyone that follows there heart or what ever to the Philippines, it’s nothing like going out with a girl from your own town and yes they can be worst too. We have no idea about how this started , was it a need for food and care for the wife , was it rent to be paid , what sort of budget was she given to support herself or was it a big con and on and on it goes. This should have been nipped in the bud straight away, if my wife had started wanting more cash for what ever I would want to know the reasons why, and if it was a illness I would have been on the first plane out there to care for her and to get the best I could get. We are all different in how we are and how we deal with things . It’s time to walk away and stay away from the family, that’s what I would do if it was me .

We all take things different to how others think we should act, yes some rant and rave and threaten to do this and that , but after the fact we all sit down and think back and you then realise it’s not all one persons fault .

Lots and lots of great advice from many people who have been used in there search for the special one. So what have we all learnt from reading about this, always go with you gut until it’s proved wrong or right.

Do you think it’s just her that is behind all this, could she have been forced to do this by the family or friends at first , then once into it ,it’s become the norm.

I bet that Costa lot to go on.