The description of your husband's relatives mirrors that of most of my wife's family. I think what you describe is quite common for those of us who marry into a Filipino family and choose to live here. Often with that comes the burden of trying to help them financially while avoiding charges of favoritism or putting yourself and spouse into financial distress. A difficult tightrope to walk, seems that often you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Just venting a bit, it can be frustrating at times.