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Everything posted by UnCheckedOther

  1. Jack,what I meany about more fart friendly is that generally, Asians are more comfortable with expelling/disposing of bodily fluids than their Western counterparts ie hocking a logie on the streets, utinating outside. Culturally it's more like, "It's unhealthy for you to hold it in, so go fart/pee/spit so your health does not suffer." With other cultures, it's more about rules! Propriety! What will others think? Of course, despite its Spanish influence and Spanish last names, the Philippines is Asian in mentality, so it's fart friendlier. But yeah...gastroentestinal issues are probably at the root. Not that I'm a fart expert, but a short burst every couple of hours should be okay. A frequent, prolonged, and "wet" sounding one would be different.
  2. Eh, I think farting is a natural thing and that people should fart for health purposes rather than hold it in, but years of etiquette instilled in me by my family still make me politely step aside/go into the ladies room to freely fart. It's got to with diet, for sure, as well as health issues. If your SO is a fan of beans, then that could be it. Is she mixed Chinese? Again, I'm using my mom's side of the family as reference, but I noticed that the Chinese branch is more fart-friendly than the Spanish branch.
  3. KatsGMA, safety is relative. Your son would be safe by himsef if he were to walk around Rustans but in Gaisanano Mall in Colon? No way. I've felt safer in some dodgy parts in Cebu (ie: the Santo Nino Church area) than I did in the "safer" parts of Philly (museum area). As long as he practices common sense and avoids dodgy people, situations, and places, your son should be okay.
  4. Bob, congratulations! Who cares if you're 57 and if she's 22 as long as you love and respect each other? I know that you're getting antsy about getting married now, but in the meantime, maybe you could talk to Av's mom about family or cultural traditions that she would love to see at your wedding. Of course it'll be Av's and your big day and your wants are paramount, but including your MIL in parts of the wedding planning means that it will be more meaningful.
  5. Jon1, MANGO wine? Would you care to share tips on how to make that? My heart just jumped at how delish that sounds.
  6. Ooops...edited to say "pahng-AH-lahn" and not pahnh-AH-lahn.
  7. Thomas, Bisaya is easier to understand than Tagalog, I think. For the most part, Bisaya and Tagalog are easy to pronouncr except that Bisaya has those pesky NG sounds ie ngano man? (Why?) which is a sound that's uncommon to N. American and most European languages. It usually ends up sounding like GAH-noh man? and NAH-noh man? Tagalog has it, too, but is usually preceded by a consonant blend so it's easier to break down and pronounce ie pangalan (name). You can pronounce it as pahnh-AH-lahn quickly and it sounds right.
  8. Jack, yes, I would still feel the same way even if I lived in the Philippines. No matter what country or culture I'm surrounded with, I've always tried to live my life according to how I see fit. I suppose I'm not easily as influenced or affected by how society or other people think I should be simply because I'm more logical than emotional (as how I've observed a lot of Pinoys to be ie onion-skinned). I'd rather be an imperfect Leilani rather than a robotic standard or ideal of someone else. Culture and the environment we live in are very important, for sure. They are the ingredients to the clay, but there's also much to be said about the fact that people have the power to choose how to mold themselves using that clay. For example, I grew up with both sides of my family hating the Japanese because of WW2. My lola saw her dad being bayoneted by a Japanese soldier in Samar and quite a few relatives on my dad's side of the family died in Pearl Harbour. There was an inheritance of anger passed down through the generations; my lola threatened to disown any of her kids and grandkids if we ever had a Japanese friend or boyfriend/girlfriend. But eh. That anger shizz is too heavy and the son should never be persecuted for the sins of his father. Needless to say, I have a lot of Japanese friends and dated a half-Japanese dude whose grandfather was sent to a concentration camp. A person is a part of his or her culture. A person is a part of a collective. However, a person is their own self, first and foremost. Jack, thanks for your questions and observations. You remind me of a professor I had at uni who taught us not just to think critically, but meaningfully as well. You weren't a Philosophy or Anthropology professor, were you?
  9. Back when I was 14 and went out on my first date, my Cebuana mom was horrified and wondering why I was "in such a rush to find a husband," much to the amusement of my American dad. When I explained to her that it was just a dinner and a movie with our group of friends, my mom told me that in the Philippines that was still a big deal. She said that in the Philippines there's this thing called pangulitaw/panliligaw (courtship) wherein the dude has to woo the girl. If the girl likes him back, then there's an MU/mutual understanding. After that is going steady. So what is a getting to know stage (dinner and movies) for us Americans or Westerners is essentially a "steady bf/gf" thing to do. The Pinoy version of getting to know each other is through the courtship stage. I'm technically a halfie, so one could argue that my upbringing in the US has something to do with it, but I am definitely in the camp of a Pinay chick not wanting to rush into marriage. I will get married when I feel ready, not because there are certain tick marks I have to cross off at certain ages/milestones. There shouldn't be a timeline. I will get married because the man I'm with is someone with whom I want to spend my life, not because it is my duty to get married or because other people will talk.A wedding is simply a legal or religious celebration; you don't need a ring or a name change to have that commitment. I also think that for the most part, the modern and empowered (well-educated, well-travelled, and those with higher profile/prestige careers) Pinay are less likely to rush into marriage because they realize that they have more options. They know they can buy what they want and they know they are complete and fulfilled despite the Pinoy culture's emphasis on marriage and motherhood being as the apex of a Pinay's identity.
  10. Just remember that Pilipino languages mostly rely on short vowels ie: Asa ka adto? (Where are you going?) is "Ah-sah kah adh-toh" rather than "ay-sah kah ad-toe." If you know some Romance languages (Spanish, Italian, French, Latin, Romanian...), you'd find it easier to pick up Bisaya. (Cebuano is the dialect.) W/r/t to slangs, it's usually just the first syllable of the word plus an S ie: guapa (beautiful) becomes guaps and naku (oh) becomes naks. If it's a word with a first syllable that's too common or too uncommon, then the last syllable is used minus the S ie kumusta (how are you) becomes musta and ig-agaw (cousin) becomes gaw. It's just something I learned after almost going nuts when trying to read through texts, e-mails, and status updates from my Pinoy relatives :)
  11. Jack, I've had lamb in Cebu before. Rack of lamb with rosemary mint sauce at some upscale restaurant. Amparito, I think it was called. That was more than a decade ago. I've also had lamb mixed with beef as shawerma at the mall. So delicious! My mom absolutely hates goat because of the smell and avoids lamb because they are "cousins". (Goat and lamb, not mom and lamb :) )
  12. As soon as my thumbs find their way out of the snow piles of Boston, I'm holding them up to say heck ya to you, Jack. There is a difference between wants and needs, and oftentimes when people say they possibly canNOT live on 3k or whatever each month don't really want to. Merton's Theory of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. You can still have some of our Western comforts but just in a Filipino way or in moderation. You cannot have it all at 100% so you need to figure out which one is your top priority. Even when you're operating at 75 ot 80% of your ideal lifestyle, it's still yours. The whole keeping up with the Joneses is BS, IMHO. Do they pay your bills, retirement, or your kids' education? Did they give birth to you or donate an organ to you? There's no need to impress them. You're not an important part of their lives, so why the heck would you waste yours trying to measure up to them?
  13. My lola's embutido, which she calls morcon, is something I could eat every day but is too labour intensive to make. Thankfully my mom is amazing and makes it for me every so often. My mom's family frowns on me eating street food, so whenever we visit the Philippines, I sneak out to eat them. My dad was my accomplice :) Now I still crave avocado, cheese and corn, and ube ice cream as well as those fish ball things you dip into the sweet brown sauce. I used to love lechon but then that movie "Babe" came out. Just as I was getting over that trauma (as a grown ass woman), of course that cute disabled pig Chris P. Bacob popped up on my FB feed :(
  14. You men are amateurs...Jollibee/McDo? Just bring your ladies to Larsian and have a nice romantic stroll at that fountain place across Robinson's. Who needs a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride when you have a friendly, slightly panting from exertion trisikad (tricycle but with a bicycle) ride or a safe habalhabal (motorcycle for hire) for two plus the driver?
  15. Ugh...gifts, not gives. This snowstorm is making my brain go pffft.
  16. At the risk of incurring my Pinoy family sides wrath... I noticed that a lot of Bisayans love to talk loudly. Back when I was just learning how to speak the language, I didn't know whether my mom's friends in Hawai'i were arguing or simply having a calm conversation about the declining quality of Golden Coin. Imagine a roomful of Anabelle Ramas pissed off about Yilmaz Bektas, and that's what Sundays at my mom's church was like. Ilonngos are more soft spoken and calmer. Perhaps it's the accent. I volunteer as an Amerasian advocate and have met people from Olongapo both here and in the Philippines and have found them to be the most open and curious Pinoys. Everything from my negative A cup size and salary to why I don't want to marry my bf and why I buy real instead of fake designer bags have been discussed extensively...by people I've known for all of ten minutes. I also noticed a contradiction w/r/t their views on Americans. On one hand there's the understandable resentment over Amerasians abandoned by their dads. I've been insulted by a few people for being proud to be an American. These same people protest over American troops in the area, but jump at the first opportunity to meet an American and come here. Again, this duality is understandable given the history. Maybe it's a Hawai'i thing, but I lovingly refer to the Ilocanos I know as "standard electric fan" ie a constant stream of one upmanship. The ones I know are very contradictory when it comes to money. A woman I know trash dives for Sunday papers and clips coupons and hoards toilet paper and mustard, tells people to give her cash instead of gives for special occasions...and then decides to spend her money on shoddily made Michael Kors/Coach bags whilst neglecting her IRA/401k/Emergency Fund. Waray people...I'm basing this on my dear lola. I like the accent, actually--the melodic rise and fall. Waray either sounds like a frenetic horror movie soundtrack or an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical depending on the mood of the speaker. I've noticed them to be very open and opinionated. The women tend to be blunt, but very nurturing. It's a coincidence, I'm sure, but both my lola and the 4-5 Warays I've met here have this thing where they run their hands up and down your arms/pinch your stomach and proclaim that you're too skinny and need to eat. Now.
  17. Dika-Steve, for a post-grad IB internship the stipend is low. As an undergrad, I did an internship with Goldman and it paid approximately $3k a month. Business and tech internships generally pay well. Since you are doing an internationan business degree, aim for conglomerates or at the very least, businesses with a strong international presence. If I'm not mistaken, your name Dika is West African (Cameroon?). There is an an emerging tech and business scene in Africa, so perhaps check with edutech/business groups such as the Next Einstein Initiative. Don't fall prey under the antiquated notion that internships are all about gaining experience and expanding networks. That is true, yes. However, certain fields (business and tech) are also excellent at financially compensating their interns. Heck, even the US government is catching on! I wish you the best of luck. Know your worth and don't settle for anything less than that. Be picky with internships; quality is better than quantity.
  18. I'm not sure if they offer self-service laundromats, but we always dropped off laundry at this place called Sanitary Steam Laundry. Same day pick-up, fair price.
  19. Is it really "saving" face when the aforementioned face is a borrowed face, ie: false bravado, pretensions, images? I find the Pinoy concept of face quite similar to the Turks because its loss is often accompanied by stubborn grudges and contradictory length of memory. There was a Filipino dude on a tourist visa that we met at Harry Potter World in FL. Within five minutes, homeboy was bragging that he graduated from UP-Los Banos (the "Harvard" of the Philippines) in the top 20% of his class and that he almost received a call back for tech company interview. My friend doesn't really know Pinoy culture, so he mentioned that I graduated third in my class at Harvard and that we are friends with the founder of the tech company. He framed it as, "Maybe we can help you land an interview." Unfortunately, the Pinoy tourist lost face. I suppose he was trying to make us see him as an equal, that he wasn't a poor, "basta basta" Pinoy--he can hold his own against a half-Pinay. The thing was, we didn't really care about his qualifications or who went where/who knows who. He just seemed cool, and we approached him because my Pinoy radar went up (overheard him saying "ang-kel" instead of ung-khul for uncle) and he wore a Tupac shirt. Anyway...months later he e-mailed me about Harvard losing a game to a "not Ivy League" football game and an article about controversies over my friend's tech company's privacy rules. He ended it with, "Uy, how the mighty fall ha." Sigh. I've always believed that insecurity is at tje core of this face business. Culture or not, if you're confident and secure about your worth, you'll know that short of plastic surgery, your face is firmly attached to your head.
  20. Who else helped out with your father-in-law's funeral expenses? He was afforded the dignity of a burial and a wake, thanks in part to his sister/your aunt-in-law. Can you really nickle and dime the value of your dad being laid to rest? In my humble opinion, this is a deBt of gratitude for the dignified burial of a man who meant a lot. Help out the aunt once. Reciprocate the kindness given during a difficult time.
  21. Own your oddity, yet be aware that the Pinoy culture and people have their own oddity. As long as your oddities don't include potentially illegal or dangerous bits like howling at the moon while farting the alphabet--naked--in front of grandmothers playing mah jong, just let it all out. Love your oddities. Love yourself. Why care how others perceive you? You're the one who pays your bills, feeds yourself, live with yourself. Just be thick-skinned. If people talk, let them. (Spoken as a "weird" halfie who is not a big fan of Pacquiao, karaoke, Filipino food, noontime variety shows, soap operas, and the Pope.) Try to learn a couple of Tagalog or Bisaya songs to add to your repertoire.
  22. That's sad. There seems to be a "take the easier way out" mentality prevalent in SOME parts of the Philippines. Sometimes I get the feeling that for a lot of Filipinos in the Philippines, university isn't really seen as a means to pursue further knowledge but rather, a means to earn money/improve status/get the hell out of dodge. Back when the "Desperate Housewives" controversy errupted (a character referenced buying a diploma from the Philippines), it was both embarrassing and infuriating. Embarrassing because that statement is rooted in truth for some, and infuriating because some Pinoys here in the US know that some people do "buy" their diplomas, but Filipino pride won't let them look past the ding to Filipinos. It's like, don't sweep it under the rug, dudes. Forget saving face; if you bury your head in the sand to ignore some truths, then hello, what face have you got to show to the world anyway after it's been snacked on by the insects called corruption? A memory stands out in my head from a time when we visited Cebu when I was about 13 or 14. My lola's then-maid wasn't that much older than my cousins and me. She was a lovely lass from a neighbouring town in Samar where my lola was from. Levi shyly asked me to teach her some English in exchange for cooking lessons. I gave her photocopies of my dad's old Bisaya-English workbooks and some homework. Between her chores and into the night, Levi would study like her life depended on it. She turned in her homework every day. She also saved whatever money she didn't send her parents. Her goal was to go to night school to get her HS diploma. "Kay gusto gyud ko mag-maistra para akong mahimong anak dili mag-maid/I really want to become a teacher so that my future kids won't end up as maids." The next year we visited Cebu, Levi was enrolled in night school :) On her day off, other maids in the village invited her to go to the disco at Royal Concourse. She declined, saying that she wanted to study for a test because her last report card averaged to a 1.9 and she needed a 1.5 to maintain her small scholarship. One of my cousins overheard and was like, "Ay sus, bigayi nalang gud na imong maistra. Hatagi barob ug Chips Ahoy. Naa koy extrang pakite." (Dude, just bribe your teacher. Give her Chips Ahoy. I have an extra pack.) Her response? "Aw, sige lang maam. Panigkamutan lang gyud nako. Kinahanlan makasabut gyud ko sa liksion kay aron inig ka maistra nako, ma-explicar nako ug tarong sa akong mga istudyante." (Oh, it's okay, ma'am. I will just work hard. I need to understand the lessons so that when I become a teacher, I can explain the concepts well to my students." No short cuts, no easy way. For people like Levi, she tries to earn her own way because she does not have the safety net of rich parents to support her or back her. Her parents were illiterate, so she understood the value of knowledge, not just an education. I share this long and boring story to kind of show you that although there is a culture of corruption and taking the easier way, there are individuals like my dear Levi who rise above it. Oh, and guess what? She is now a high school teacher! Though her school does not officially have a special education program, she takes all the special needs kids because she has a way of explaining things in a way that is accessible to them. Back when I served in Teach For America and was assigned to teach Special Education, I turned to her for some help :)
  23. KSome1, I agree with the above posts. You still have TX ties and you're in the Philippines on a work visa, meaning that the former is your home base. Just make sure that your TX address is a physical address, not just a P.O. box.
  24. Thanks, JGF! This place looks amazing! It even has an art gallery :)
  25. Nicole, I forgot to add that if you applied for and was offered a job at one of the international schools, they also help you with visas :) Maybe you could search for a Special Education position within Brent or the other International Schools. That would be ideal for you.
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