Snowy79

Were you going through his wallet whilst he was sleeping?

I'll agree it's only fair to replace what is lost if you take the family support away. Unfortunately you still get individuals being over generous which from experience breeds corruption and opens partners eyes to bigger temptations. I'm friendly with a few girls here including a mamasan. They are very open about using Westerners as a stepping stone. One earns say 5k per month and finds a guy wanting her to be his wife. Being Western he thinks 5k isn't worth going out to work for so gives her a little more to stop working. A little down the line she's chatting to a new guy and explains she gets 10k per month. Again this guy says he'll match it. Within a year she's got a couple of Fiances on the go each sending her money. Then her eyes are opened to a Visa and life in a country where you get benefits. She marries her usually older partner, moves to the West and once she's a permanent resident ditches her husband for a younger guy. It's a scenario that's played out all too often. Treat them mean, keep them keen.

Did the boys down your sauna tell you that?

Lady boys don't do it for me.

I'm pretty much of that ilk also. The way I figure it is I only give what I can lose but even then the scams still amaze me here. From virgins who once married suddenly remember the child that they left in the province, to the mechanic that services your car swapping your good battery for a bad one.

I think scams should be compulsory reading for all newbies. The old dogs can sit back and shake their heads but they've probably only ran into amateur scammers. Some girls here are so slick even with a tracker you'd struggle to catch them out. The language barrier doesn't help. I've known street wise guys that keep their partners on a short lead being used. Guys married years suddenly finding their loving wife has been loving someone else also. All good church going women and pillars of the community. The last you'd expect as they all say. The only ones getting out semi ok are the ones living in rented property as they just grab their bags and move on. My mate who I am off to Manila with is a prime example. He's lived here over 20 years, married 15 and his wife even has picked his accent up. He works for an international company one month on one month off. He returned from his last job unannounced and caught her with the caretaker of the property. He took it surprisingly well. Just grabbed his documents, all his money is in a UK bank and his vehicles and motorbikes were in friends garages. Went online and cancelled her cards and moved into new digs. Fortunately he has no kids. She can go from moving being no problem to skint.

Again without knowing your partner I wouldn't know who her family are connected to. There is a time and a place for the Barangay Captain but this I think is way out of his league. They are used to dealing with village squabbles amongst locals and do have some power as you can bet the title is handed down through families. It really does taking living here for a couple of years to see how things work ( or don't). Every day is a school day here where I'm learning pitfalls that I'd never dream of in the West. If you sit at home and play happy families here you can be blind as to what goes on. If you live in an area with lots of Ex Pats and socialise you'll hear and see things that will make your hair stand on end. It's not all bad, some have fantastic relationships but in this culture it only takes one accusation and your World can come tumbling down. I'm guessing the area where your partner lives is pretty poor and poverty can breed corruption. My partner is from near Ronda, Cebu. She thought it was a relatively poor area but she's just visited her Mother who she hasn't seen in about 20yrs down in Mindanao to a village called Macanhan. They don't have electricity there and use well water. Education levels are very poor and she says lying is a way of life. Everything she's asked family members is twisted and different answers depending who she asks. She's even discovering blood brothers she thought she had were fathered by different men. Disagreements are sorted out in the jungle with knifes with little fear of repercussions if it's local against local. Once a foreigner is involved it's a whole different matter. One false accusation against you could be worth a few years wages in bribes to a local which could make the accusations go away. Stay well clear and deal with it from afar.

As has been highlighted it's a culture difference here that is so alien to most in the West that we find it hard to believe they could be like it. They can lie, cheat and steal all week and be God fearing for an hour on a Sunday. You get into an argument with one, even if they are in the wrong they'll almost be proud that all their friends jump in. There's no such a thing in my experience of a one on one fight and they hold a grudge. Most provincial towns are run by a couple of families and most families are large. You pick a fight with one and they will have contacts all the way to the Mayor via the police. That's why you should head the advice of not pushing things via the local police. The National Bureau of Investigations is the way ahead. Don't even go to the area. Deal with everything from a distance. Life is cheap here and at times the punishment doesn't fit the crime. As an example a female friend of mine saw on Facebook a post by her half sister showing her with a bruise on her face and the message " I still love you. " She hadn't seen her in years but messaged her and found out her boyfriend had beaten her. My friend took a six hour coach trip to find the boyfriend and casually walked up to him and stabbed him 3 times in the chest before getting dragged away. She was locked up overnight and in front of a local judge the next afternoon then let out on a bail of 2k peso. One month later all charges were dropped.

Usually family first then friends then partners if foreign is the hierarchy here I find. Extremely thick skinned when they are in the wrong but if you embarrass them stand by.

Sounds like one of them. I've had my eyes opened since here. I'm a good guy now but some of the girls I know used to regularly contact me and ask to go out for a meal with them. I knew this meant I'm buying but I had a good laugh and they were always trying to set me up with their friends. A few nights they'd stop over, no money would be exchanged and she'd cook breakfast, tidy the apartment and head off to work. What some need to realise is for some girls here it's all about survival by any means. Even bar girls have a heart, just don't trust them.

Just search Pickleball Philippines on Facebook. They have some clubs in Manila. In a way I was hoping pickleball was cryptic for something. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickleball

The other good thing about dual sims is in a lot of airports, malls etc you get 30 free minutes of wifi from Globe or Smart even if you have no load on your phone. Just search out the free wifi and it'll ask for a phone number to sent a pin code that you use for your free number. Once your 30 mins is up switch to the other number.

I'm with Huggybearman on this. For some strange reason in a land known for corruption Cybercrime does appear to be heavily punished. Maybe it's due to those investigating cyber crime having a better education than most. As for picking yourself up and moving on there's no time frame but your own. I'm sure most on here have been screwed over by a Western partner so we should be the last to judge. I've heard plenty of people say they want a relationship as they don't want to be lonely in old age. Well there's two guys I know living here, one in his 90s another in the late 80s. Both have female " FRIENDS" visit them once or twice per week. They're never lonely, always met by a smiling female and 100% drama free. I'm in a relationship but can still see what one between me and them is onto a winner. Do the maths. $2,000 dollars per month here can employ 71 female visitors per month in my area if you catch my drift. No dramas, heartache or lying and the freedom to do as you wish every day without getting 100 questions as to what you're doing and where you're going etc. Got to go. Got a girlfriends bags to pack.

There are proper channels for maintenance. I'm pretty certain lying about a terminal disease isn't one of them.

You don't have to take it all the way. The thought of it hanging over them could be enough and has been said word could spread. It could take over one year to even see the court. One year of them sweating then just drop it. Who knows they may try to pay back some of the money and as Bigmac is in the good old USA they can't touch him.