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Jake

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Jake last won the day on March 15

Jake had the most liked content!

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About Jake

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Las Vegas Nevada
  • Interests
    Flying on a Hobie 16, windsurfing, tennis and PADI certified muff Diver -- ETCM(sw) // CMC USN retired

Blood Type

  • Blood Type
    O+

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  • Country Of Birth

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  1. Roger that, all STOP, maintain silence and set weapons free. For the past 10 years or so, my recovery from a simple cold or the flu takes longer than before. I'm type 2 diabetic, so I know I'm already compromised. Six feet apart or six feet under.....easy choice, right?
  2. If any major regional medical care system collapses here is the States, the fatality rate will definitely increase. And I think unfortunately, the recovery rate will decrease?
  3. Can you FEDEX asap? I'm running out of flour tortillas.
  4. Buttcases.....and I will definitely carry on. No choice, I've gots the runs!
  5. Well Tommy, you got me pegged. My humor is usually stupid toilet jokes but what else can I do but to grin and bear it. I've already cleaned my 2nd Amendment toys a million times (for stress relief), so I might as well make light of our current situation. Regarding the tortilla (I made it back to the toilet in time, by the way), it looks strangely familiar with contents of an actual taco from Taco Bell. Remind me NOT to go out on WED, THURS and FRIDAY for Taco Tuesdays anymore......he, he.
  6. As I sit here being social at a distance, a question popped up about what to do about my current predicament. My kitchen is about 4 paces away from the bathroom and I should be OK with my pants already down to my ankles (imagine a penguin walk). Here's the question......is flour tortilla flushable? Need your answer ASAP!
  7. Well, thank you Tommy. The old cliche -- once a sailor, always a sailor.
  8. Yep!! The finger wave is beginning to give me some unusual stimulation.....he, he.
  9. That video gives me a great idea. I gonna patent a battery operated tail to wipe my butt clean.
  10. Hey Marvin, just follow a carabao for a couple miles with a wheelbarrow and shovel. Most of the rice that we consume is grown in wet rice fields that are littered with those fresh droppings. Perhaps you can make a YouTube on the Bowel Movement of a Water Buffalo....he, he.
  11. I personally use any laundry bar soap because it generates more slippery suds and makes your fingers smell "presh na presh". As far as bending forward and the weird contortion of the elbow as you try to pour the water down your butt crack, it's becoming more difficult at my age. Hell, I can't even get one leg into my pants without falling over. Long term advantage doing the Filipino tabo-tabo method? It finally got rid of my "rhoids". I may die of the Corona virus but my butt will be squeaky clean.......he, he.
  12. Well Mike, excellent choice for that commando wipes on the go. I have personal experience riding a local bus that went through just about every town and village from Manila to Olongapo. Two pit stops along the way, with just about everyone running towards the edge of the jungle. Banana leaves have that lubricating properties (like aloe) and if you're lucky, the tree will have some bananas that you can eat while you take a dump. Es mo pun in da Philippines.
  13. As you can see, I just won a major jackpot in Las Vegas. Should last a few months, unless I pig out on every Taco Tuesday......he, he.
  14. Wife? Judy was the one supervising me on how to do it correctly. I keep asking her.....can you do that again for demonstration purposes?
  15. Well just my luck, all the stewardesses are blocking my cockpit window. By the way, can I handle flight controls while holding my drinks? Speaking of regressing. I'm doing a practice run on how to perform the Filipino tabo-tabo method of wiping my butt. Last time I tried, most of the water spilled on the floor, not down my butt crack. Yeah, it does take some practice.
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