JDDavao

Me: What's that orange soap in the bathroom? Menchu: It's carrot soap. Me: Carrot soap? Menchu: Yes. Me: My carrot isn't dirty. Menchu: Shuddup!

I've always built my own. Well, after my first Packard-Bell in 1995. But from now on, it's ready-made laptops for me. Even then, phones and my great nemesis, the tablet, are replacing even lappies.

Last year, a guy in Florida took a gun from his checked bag in the baggage claim area of the Ft. Lauderdale airport and killed five people with it. So, yep, allowing any kind of weapon in checked baggage is a big loophole. With guns, you could maybe ban ammunition. That would make it harder for a passenger to use. But for knives? Whaddaya gonna do?

I don't know about Manila but in Davao, taxi drivers use the meter and usually don't refuse service. I don't think unmarked Grab is down here yet but I see the taxis have replaced their Grab Taxi window stickers with ones for a service called Hirna.

Don't give them any ideas. They'll start calling them NWHDs and newcomers will never find out what that means.

I miss carrying a knife. I used to have a knife and a flashlight in pocket every day at work. Some of the other maintenance guys would say, "Wow, you really have everything." I'd reply, "Wow, you don't?" I shipped my Benchmade Mini Ambush, Spyderco Native and RAT-3 here in a BB Box and I thought for sure they'd be "confiscated" but they made it through. I think that would be the only problem with putting anything, knives included, in checked baggage. It's always possible they will get "lost". But from a security standpoint, knives in checked baggage should be okay.

The world over, white people are trying to get tan and tan people are trying to get white. I told my wife if she ever bought that whitening soap, to keep it far away from me. I told her if I used it, I'd turn invisible.

We just had a guy who was working on our little backyard pig pen drop a grinder that got stuck in the "on" position and chewed his foot up. Twenty-some stitches and P11,000. I gave him an old pair of my boots aftward but, day late, several hundred dollars short.

Here in Davao, today and Monday the 20th have been declared holidays for our Kidayawan festival. The 21st is a holiday for Aquino Day and I'd heard a combined Eid al-Adha. I thought I'd heard that the 22nd was no longer a holiday. Of course, it could always be a local one. Heck, I'm retired so every day is a holiday! Just never a bank holiday because the Bank of Honeyplease ATM is always open!

They were a plague in New Jersey when I was growing up. They used to hide under the part of our little above-ground pool's liner that lapped over the top edge. I've not seen one here yet. I suppose that's a good thing!

Well, if the Earth is actually flat, it must be the government chips in our heads that are stopping us from flipping it over to the cool side like a pillow.

More likely something that happens 34,000 times a year is just no longer news. It's "dog bites man".

We need to revive the Galleon Trade and infuse the Philippines once again with Mexican goods. Without enslaving anyone, of course.

Don't get me started on PLDT! They once responded to a complaint of mine on Twitter with a message filled with puns. I'm convinced that their Twitter help is actually a bot coded to placate customers with meaningless positivity until you respond a set number of times which alerts a human (which will be no more help than the bot). Darn. I got myself started on PLDT.

I looked at them on Facebook and wasn't impressed with their selection. Nothing I can't get at the liquor shop in an SM supermarket. My S&R has a wider selection.