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peterfe last won the day on September 8

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  1. peterfe

    Why are so many men alone?

    Yes, of course you're right. Many expat men here no doubt prefer to be single and prefer their own company, just as many men do in Western countries. But all men have sexual urges, and if you want to be alone and not get distracted, maybe it would be better to go and live in Siberia, where the women are covered in several layers of clothing almost all year, rather than in the land of beautiful girls in shorts and miniskirts!
  2. peterfe

    Why are so many men alone?

    When I go a mall here, of course I see lots of foreigners. But I don't understand why so many of them (about half) are alone, i.e. without a wife/girl friend, when there are so many nice girls here, and it doesn't seem difficult to find one however old and fat you may be. Of course, they may have a partner at home, but I often see foreigners doing things which suggest they haven't, like going to the launderette or buying some few groceries that suggest they live alone. Maybe some of these foreigners are on this site, and I'm not being critical or judgemental, just curious. Everyone needs a bit of time away from their partner sometimes, but to me it's quite surprising that about half the foreigners are there without a partner. Possible reasons: to get some respite from a nagging partner, to avoid bringing a partner to the mall who likes to spend, spend, spend, the person doesn't have a partner because he prefers picking up different girls for one-night stands, the person's last relationship just finished and he's still looking for a new girl friend, the person is gay. No doubt there are some other reasons I haven't thought of. Any suggestions?
  3. peterfe

    Foreigners and Filipino children act

    I suppose if the only policeman likely to bother a man in that situation is a corrupt one, then maybe he could just give the policeman 10000 pesos to leave him alone. However, if that's the case, it also means that people who really are abusing children can pay off the police in the same way! I think the advice of always having an adult with you is sound. If I ever for some reason had to take a bus or ferry with a minor relative of my gf, and she couldn't come with us, I'd make sure that her sister, female cousin or female friend went with us.
  4. peterfe

    Foreigners and Filipino children act

    Some people on this thread seem worried by this law, but is there really any reason to be, as long as your motives are perfectly innocent and you have some "connection" to the child? If some busybody reported you to the police, don't the police use their common sense? There must be lots of people on Philippines Expat Forum who have a wife or partner who has a child or children - has anybody had, or know of others who have had, problems for some perfectly normal thing like walking to the sweet shop with your gf's nephew? I would guess that people don't need to worry about ordinary activities, especially when the gf/wife or her family member is nearby, but I would advise against e.g. travelling to another town with your gf/wife's child, but without her.
  5. peterfe

    On dating sites...

    Doesn't it depend very much on the dating site? The main one this girl was on was Cherry Blossoms, which I believe is a relatively serious site. She got no replies from Arabs or Indians. By the way, Cherry Blossoms has three times as many women as men. I was on Filipinocupid myself previously, a much bigger site, and there a number of girls write things like "Don't ask me to undress on Skype, I'm not that kind of girl", sometimes in quite angry tones, as if they were fed up with it. This suggests that Filipinocupid has a lot of those males, but no doubt also plenty of good potential husbands/partners too, just because there are so many people on the site.
  6. peterfe

    On dating sites...

    I recently tried to help a filipina girl whose English was not very good by putting her picture and profile on three free dating sites. I received most of the replies as she mostly didn't have internet access where she lived. It was interesting to experience a dating site "from the other side". I met my girlfriend on one, so I know a lot about what girls write. Now I found out what men write. I was actually pleasantly surprised, as there were very few who were interested in her as a sex partner. I imagine it makes a huge difference what the girl writes in her profile and what kind of picture(s) she posts. This girl is not unattractive, but she put a respectable picture and wrote that she was only interested in a serious relationship/marriage. So if that's what you want, ladies, put it clearly in your profile and don't put a picture where you're showing off your body!
  7. Your last sentence is interesting. I didn't think about it at the time (too much in love), but of course there must have been one or more reasons why her husband left her. In many cases, I'm sure, the woman is hardly at fault, but if the husband/partner left because she was always nagging and shouting at him, she's hardly going to tell that to her new foreigner boyfriend! He will find it out later the hard way...
  8. One year on, the OP returns! There's a lot of good advice here, and it's obviously still a hot topic. Whether you continue the relationship will depend on many things, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution for everybody. But, having had some problems and worries in my life before I came here, and wanting to relax here with no or only minor problems, I decided not to continue the relationship. I found someone else, not as beautiful as the other one, but honest and not after my money. We've been together for a year now. Love is a dangerous thing! I was really in love with the other one, but with this one, it's a different kind of love, less passionate but more friendly, and maybe that's what counts in the long term.
  9. DHL, TNT and probably other couriers don't allow you to send credit/debit cards (even if not activated). But an Internet search reveals that a good many people have had bank cards sent by DHL and others without problems. If there's almost no money in the account, I personally can't see any great risk involved or reason why you shouldn't "break the rules", hide the card in some papers and call the shipment "documents". What else are we expats supposed to do, buy a plane ticket home just to pick up a credit card? I've had various documents sent by DHL in the past and there's never been any sign that the envelope has been opened. But I wonder about scanning, either by DHL or customs. Probably a card would show up as a rectangle between a few sheets of paper, although it might not show up at all if it was placed between two postcards between some documents. Any thoughts on the best (if not actually permitted) way of having a bank card sent here?
  10. Many thanks to everyone for your helpful replies, especially Snowy79. I am seriously considering my options. One possibility is to have regular holidays with my girlfriend abroad, but in between let her stay close to her family and friends (her husband lives a long way away now), and during that time not meet too often and certainly not spend the night together. Presumably we couldn't be arrested for adultery under Filipino law if it took place abroad. But of course the husband might still want to slit my throat when we came back...
  11. Hi I’m new to this forum and quite new to the Philippines, and I’d very much appreciate some advice. I’m a UK citizen, planning to continue to live here in the Philippines with a Filipina woman who has been separated for three years, but obviously still officially married. She is willing to live with me in a completely different part of the country from where her relatives live, and also from where her ex now lives. But I’m still worried that he might somehow find out where we are and try to blackmail me or have us arrested. I suppose the most likely scenario is that he wouldn’t bother if he heard we’d moved to a secret location, but for someone who’s determined to find out where another person is living, there are certain ways. You can apparently find the location of a mobile someone is using. A friend of his could contact a hotel where I was staying to get my passport number and he could then contact immigration and find out the address I put on the form when I get my ACR-I card, or contact immigration at the airport to have me arrested next time I left the country. All this maybe sounds a bit unlikely for someone who has little education and perhaps not that much money, but I just want to live in peace with my girlfriend and feel (almost) sure nothing will happen. Of course there’s always a risk that someone he knows might happen to be living in the same place we choose to live in and recognise my girlfriend, but I think the chances of that happening are almost non-existent, if we’re in a completely different part of the country. Any advice or experiences from people in a similar situation?