A Gift Or Contribution?

[ekimswish]

I went to a party with my wife and her "bercada" (click of friends from youth), and took a fine bottle of Taiwanese Gaoliang liquor given to me for Chinese New Year as a present from my students parents. I wanted to share it and hoped it'd all be drank down. When almost no one at the table touched it all night, I was hoping to take it home and work on it throughout the week, as it's quite strong, 60% alcohol. I forgot to take it, however, and when I mentioned getting it the next day, my wife gasped. She said it was a "gift" and it'd be rude of me to get it.I'm not complaining. I understand. I'm just wishing I didn't take it in the first place, lol.Any comments on if it would've been rude of me to go back fishing for that bottle of beautiful Taiwanese liquor which they showed no interest in?

[Bruce]

Forget it. If you go back you run the risk of miscommunications. So buy another bottle and play it safe.Years ago, I bought a bottle of 'aqua blue' colored Mad Dog (MD 2020 / Mogen David 20% wine) which is real wino stuff. I put a ribbon on it and gave it as a gift to a dinner party I went to as a gag gift. That same bottle was re gifted several times that I know of! Interesting gag to play...

[Tatoosh]

Yeah, taking it back would be kinda "kuripot" as they say around here. If I couldn't afford to leave it, I probably wouldn't take it to the party to begin with.

Edited February 1, 2012 by Tatoosh

[JJReyes]

It depends and it's cultural. If you are a first time guest, you can bring something to a gathering as a token of appreciation for the invitation. But the host may not serve it, even if it is a perishable item like a pie or cake. To insist is like saying the host was so cheap that not enough food was prepared. If you are a regular member of the group or family, the gift or contribution will be consumed. You social ranking is dependent on the perceived value of what you bring. The clue regarding correctness is when they request that you bring the same or similar item next time. You are then designated as the person to bring the salad, a main dish or a bottle of wine. Requesting the return of the liquor bottle is absolutely taboo. The host and everyone who was there to witness the giving has been insulted. The punishment is being banned for life. Now, it is possible that the liquor bottle will reappear and served at a future gathering. This is a signal that your generous gift is appreciated. There is also the possibility that the liquor bottle will enter the gift giving circuit just like the proverbial American fruitcake.

[sjp52]

I wonder if you could exchange it for something else. Something they would like Then you are both happy

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Well I would say if you walked in the party with it and walked out with what was left then maybe that would be ok - just maybe. But to go back later? Afraid not. Consider it a donation to friendships of the future.I hope it wasn't too expensive.

[Adventurer]

Well, if it is that important to you then a way you might be able to get away with it is to pay them a visit (if that is something not abnormal) then when you are sitting there, you might see the bottle and could say something like "oh, I see you have still not drunk my gift" and if your lucky they might say something like "well it is not my thing so your welcome to take it back" . a little sneaky but if it is so important then you might get lucky but as others said never ask for it back.

[i am bob]

Well, if it is that important to you then a way you might be able to get away with it is to pay them a visit (if that is something not abnormal) then when you are sitting there, you might see the bottle and could say something like "oh, I see you have still not drunk my gift" and if your lucky they might say something like "well it is not my thing so your welcome to take it back" . a little sneaky but if it is so important then you might get lucky but as others said never ask for it back.

I don't know... I think I would just forget about getting it back. The chance that it might peev off somebody in the family just isn't worth the bottle. Better to keep the family happy I think.

[ekimswish]

Lol.... I know it's taboo. I guess I had the expectation that people would jump at the chance to drink such a unique kind of alcohol. When they weren't, I realized, "Oh no! They don't appreciate it's GREATNESS because they don't live in Taiwan and know what it is! I MUST rescue it and consume it slowly all week long so it knows it's loved!"Ah well, now I'll have to buy my own. That bottle was actually a gift to me from my student's parents, so I'm not sure how much it cost, but it was definitely quality stuff.

[Adventurer]

yeah I know what you mean when you go to share something that means a lot to you but others don't realize it or are not interested. I used to make some home brew that took me months, it was a little annoying when no one wanted to drink it but at least I always had plenty for myself lol.