In Philippines..... Is It Always "us And Them"?

[Old55]

As a Foreigner in Philippines have you ever been accepted by local Filipinos as just another guy? Is the class system in Philippines so ingrained that even the latest generation still sees anyone not Filipino as an outsider? Curious what others think.

[i am bob]

I don't usually put a 'like' on the originating question - but this one I definitely would like to make an exception for!

I know there are guys on here (and gals) who can definitely answer to the "Yes" and I'd love to hear their stories as well!!!

[Old55]

That was my thought, Bob. :) There have been a few guys who shared stories this week and got me thinking.

[sjp52]

As a Foreigner in Philippines have you ever been accepted by local Filipinos as just another guy? Is the class system in Philippines so ingrained that even the latest generation still sees anyone not Filipino as an outsider? Curious what others think.

What I feel is the biggest road block of becoming close or just like one of them is the language difference. If we could speak Filipino I think it would be easier to get to be one of the guys or fit in your neighborhood. The fact that the average Filipino does not understand English that well and it is hard for them and you to have a good conversation with each other is hard to overcome. I think it will just take longer than normal and the more we learn their language the more we will fit in. That and letting them know that you see them as your equal and not above them and show them respect, of course if they deserve it.

I had a party once and near the end of the night one of the guys came up to me and asked (in broken English ) if it was ok for him to go home. I told him you do what ever you want, You don,t need my permission. Another Filipino came up to me and said he was just showing me respect. So I said sorry to him and appreciated his jester. We have a lot to learn here and the more time we spend with them the more we will learn.

[jode]

I think that someone from a differant country, of a differant race, speaking a differant language, two times their size or more, older than almost anyone else around, and of a differant financial status than most people around, will never be accepted as just another guy. However when they see you daily going about your business and get used to your presence, then the novelty of you will eventually wear off, and you can go about without too much differance in how they would react to anyone else, and you can start to feel like you are just another guy.

Edited May 26, 2012 by jode

[Old55]

I agree with you both. Frankly because most Filipinos I know speak fairly good English I sometimes forget that is a huge deal.

Let me ask you both, how do you fit in or not what are your experiences? Another "rich kano" or her Kano husband or in my case the grand children's father.

[Jake]

I think that someone from a differant country, of a differant race, speaking a differant language, two times their size or more, older than almost anyone else around, and of a differant financial status than most people around, will never be accepted as just another guy. However when they see you daily going about your business and get used to your presence, then the novelty of you will eventually wear off, and you can go about without too much differance in how they would react to anyone else, and you can start to feel like you are just another guy.

Another excellent post starter Dan (Old55)! It's not just another language barrier but cultural and physical

size differences that could easily intimidate an average Filipino. As Scott (SJP) mentioned above, it's very

typical to inform the host of his departure. It's a matter of common courtesy.

Being Filipino who normally speaks "dollar", here is my personal perspective on this matter. The locals will

only treat me as "different" when I start to converse in English with no accent. After explaining to them about

my background and how I lost my native tongue, most of them treat me like one of the guys. It really comes

down to how you treat them with respect. A simple greeting, a smile, a thank you in their dialect would break

the ice in most cases.

Jode has summarized that quite well by setting a example of good citizenship within the local community.

[i am bob]

I can't speak for how things work in the Philippines as I have not made it there yet... But I can speak for the many many many countries I have been to. And, in each and every one, I have always been the outsider / foreigner / $ symbol until they get to know me. How did I change the way they looked at me? By learning about their culture so I could assimilate... Learning how to speak the language to varying degrees... (Except Germany where everybody, as soon as they found out I was Canadian, wanted to practice their English) As for the $ symbol? One of the best ways I found to have people look at me as one of the boys instead of a bank was to ask individuals if they could teach me how to do something! This was how I "learned" how to weld... It's amazing how people start to look at you differently once they can show you how good they are at something you are not!

Did I mention that my father's original trade was welding? :mocking:

[Dave Hounddriver]

My experience is that it can be worse for the returning Filipinos who were born here and then went to the US (for example) for most of their adult life. When they return the locals treat them as foreigners and the foreigners treat them as locals.

I was fortunate enough to get a kind of friendship going with a fellow in that situation. I say 'kind of' friendship because the guys in that situation seem to have emotional 'walls' up as people who want to befriend them usually have ulterior motives.

For me? I fit in best with anyone who speaks English well, so the 'us and them' would be 'we and they'. That is we, who speak English well, and they, who are not native English speakers. It means there are some foreigners that I do not fit in with as well as some filipinos.

[Old55]

For me the only times I have felt wholly accepted as one of the guys is when with one of my close friends visiting with others sharing a specific hobby. At those times I truly became one of the guys.

Jake, your point being respectful and speaking a few words of Filipino is key!

Edited May 26, 2012 by Old55