Training Your Filpino Partner

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i am bob
Posted
Posted

Wow! I went back and read this whole series from the beginning... This is a very touchy subject, isn't it? Just a reminder folks - let's all play nice and friendly!

Shiredevon, it takes a lot to bare your soul and admit your problems. To admit on an open forum that even though your wife still loves you completely, the magic has gone out of your marriage for you. I also understand how you have accepted a few of the issues from her family some expats face in their marriages. Hopefully someday the magic will come back. Maybe a little distance from the family? A change of location (city or even province) may help. Or possibly spending some more quiet time together just talking things through... Let her know the things that you aren't happy with but do so carefully and gently and never all of these at the same time but one or two today, another in a week or two, and so on. And always start and end with the things she does that made you love her in the first place. These are just ideas from my thinking out loud but you never know... There was something there once - do you think you can find it again? If so, this is something for you and your wife to work together on. By your name I know the area you come from.... My family has a bit of history not too far away and I've visited there a few times myself. And it seems to me that all the men walk tall with a gruff and blustering voice but always have a big tender spot in their heart for the woman in their life. I'm not sure if this is you or not but after reading what you wrote...

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Fred & Mimi
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Posted
The moral of this story is... money and materialism corrupts, whether your Filipino or westerner, so be warned, we also need to realise that filipinas are not attracted to us because we are old or we have dazzling personality's or rapier wit's, it's because we offer them an out clause from the poverty trap, if you think otherwise your fooling yourself,

It's interesting that the general perception is that the Filipina's only reason to be with a older foreign gentleman is security for herself and her family. I'm sure that any woman with a brain will have their future welfare in mind so singleing out the Filipina isn't fair and of course but how could they desire to be with an old fat wrinkly old man as a life partner if not for financial reasons. Let me tell you a story that may add some light on this subject from a different point of view. While I was RP for my very first time a few months ago, I visited Mabalacat, Pampanga to see a good chatmate of mine. On one of my visits to her home, a kids birthday party was happening in the house next door. Apparently from what my friend's mother told me, a seven year old girl at the party saw me arrive and said "What a handsome man"...this came from a child!! It would appear that the attraction for an older man is instilled at a very young age. I just wanted to add this snippet of info to counter the well used notion that its only about the money.

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Dave Hounddriver
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Posted
most foreigners who have this particular Problem have caused it themselves.
"Not me"
i was wealthy i just let her do what ever she wanted and slowly she's deteriorated until she's a shadow of her former self or at least the one i fell in love with,

Well that's confusing. I think any person, anywhere would have problems if someone handed them a blank check and let them do whatever they want. As an example, the guys who had nothing their whole lives and are now here funded by a government pension check are the ones I see having the most problems. Oops. That's generalizing. But then so is the post I am responding to when it says:

filipinas are not attracted to us because we are old or we have dazzling personality's or rapier wit's, it's because we offer them an out clause from the poverty trap, if you think otherwise your fooling yourself,

My conclusion is: Some guys just don't know how to be a husband.

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Jake
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I'll be damned ..... I just wrote a long post on me being the only lucky man in the world with a Filipina wife who can and does control her spending and then I deleted it some how .... oh well just as well ..... been posted 100's of times before ..... sorry about your situation ..... maybe another nationality will better suite your needs ..... I hear US women are not money grubbers and will look after your every whim and desire and definitely won't want you if you are old .... fat or bald .... just might be a match made in heaven or is that hell ..... :mocking: ..... best of luck ..... :thumbsup: ...... :cheersty:

Sarcasm at its best......he, he.

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Jake
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The moral of this story is... money and materialism corrupts, whether your Filipino or westerner, so be warned.....

.....also need to realise that filipinas are not attracted to us because we are old or we have dazzling personality's

Happy hunting hehe.........

GROUP HUG

Good morning guys and girls,

I knew this was going to be a hot topic. To begin with, I wish to commend Shiredevon painfully revealing his sad

state of personal affairs. We very much appreciate in allowing us to come inside your private life. I believe I was

in your shoes a long time ago -- I would rather eat a bullet than suffer the pains from the heart. And yet you have

come to our little community and spill your guts out.

I would also like to commend my fellow members in trying to keep this OP fair and balanced. This is a hot topic

even in other expat forums. I would like to think that while our emotions are hot, we would rather send a message

of hope and peace for both parties. I believer both parties were equally wrong and equally right. But who are we

to judge? Remember, Shiredevon invited us into his private domain and now needs our help.

After all, this little community of ours have veteran expats advising the newbies and willingness to share vital and

real time information among the whole expat community. Perhaps we should remind ourselves that we are the

good natured community. Imagine this: we're all in out birthday suits, singing and dancing around in a circle.

It's called the Australian-Aborigines circle jerk dance with JGF in the center......he, he.

Anyone for a group hug?

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Mike S
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Well getting back to the topic of "Training your Filipino Partner" ..... why would I really want to train her .... I mean I moved to HER country she didn't move to the one I came from ...... so would I train her to be like western women (please I don't even want to go there) ..... do I just train her with the good stuff I want from western civilization or does she get to be trained in the bad stuff as well ..... :mocking: ...... yea I know being a smart a*s again ....

But seriously if two people really love each other they will try and please their mate (if they don't than something is definitely wrong ... and you are in a one-way relationship) and so over a period of time you will become more and more compatible and enjoy more and more of the same things together .... you will BOTH CHANGE to become even closer together ..... there is no reason to actually train someone ..... you might wish to show her how to cook some of your favorite foods ..... and she might show you what some of her favorite foods are like ..... compromise ....... so it is a give and take situation ...... with neither party doing all the giving or taking .....

No need to TRAIN anyone ..... I train my dog not to pee on the floor and so far my asawa hasn't do that .... so I see no need in training her ..... :hystery: :hystery: :hystery: ..... IMHO ...... :cheersty:

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i am bob
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Posted

Well getting back to the topic of "Training your Filipino Partner" ..... why would I really want to train her .... I mean I moved to HER country she didn't move to the one I came from ...... so would I train her to be like western women (please I don't even want to go there) ..... do I just train her with the good stuff I want from western civilization or does she get to be trained in the bad stuff as well ..... :mocking: ...... yea I know being a smart a*s again ....

But seriously if two people really love each other they will try and please their mate (if they don't than something is definitely wrong ... and you are in a one-way relationship) and so over a period of time you will become more and more compatible and enjoy more and more of the same things together .... you will BOTH CHANGE to become even closer together ..... there is no reason to actually train someone ..... you might wish to show her how to cook some of your favorite foods ..... and she might show you what some of her favorite foods are like ..... compromise ....... so it is a give and take situation ...... with neither party doing all the giving or taking .....

No need to TRAIN anyone ..... I train my dog not to pee on the floor and so far my asawa hasn't do that .... so I see no need in training her ..... :hystery: :hystery: ..... IMHO ...... :cheersty:

Mike, once again you had me laughing while agreeing with everything you said! And, for what you said? I couldn't come close to saying it any better!!!

:tiphat: :541: :mocking:

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  • 4 months later...
Call me bubba
Posted
Posted (edited)

after reading Americano topic, I feel it should be shared on this.

http://www.philippin...she-always-wet/

Edited by Pittman apartments Sgn
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Dave Hounddriver
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I guess you need to make sure that your partner/wife/gf/mate is "potty" trained in the western usage of the Toilet

I just learn to adapt. It seems racist, to me, to insist that 'they' must conform to my culture or they are somehow less of a person.

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