Meeting Her And Her Family For The First Time

[earthdome]

For those suggesting chocolates... that was already on my list.

I also would like to get some flowers but I wonder about the logistics. Do I buy them in Manila and carry on the bus with me. Can I buy them at the last roadside bus stop before arriving. Or should I go to the local market after I arrive to buy the flowers.

I am also taking a few other select items from home... since I will be selling/giving/throwing away many things in the coming months as I prepare to move... no reason why I can't take some of the smaller items as gifts as long as I have room in my baggage. For example.. a small half size basketball for her 2 year old little brother and some programming books for her sibling taking IT classes.

Make sure you are well groomed – well presented. No need for make up or funeral clothes :mocking: :hystery: But NO flip-flops, sleeveless shirts or shorts. Trousers and long/short sleeve shirt is de rigueur. And bring small presents for the family – nothing outlandish!

Already part of the plan... but thank you for making the suggestions.

[JJReyes]

Be prepared for certain direct questions, which in Western culture won't be asked. The example is, "How much money do you have?" and "Do you have other girlfriends?" Unfortunately, it is considered impolite to ask the family similar questions.

Edited September 17, 2012 by JJR

[earthdome]

Be prepared for certain direct questions, which in Western culture won't be asked. The example is, "How much money do you have?" and "Do you have other girlfriends?" Unfortunately, it is considered impolite to ask the family similar questions.

Haven't been asked the first one yet. That question will need a generic response which confirms that I can support myself but without disclosing any numbers. Perhaps something like, "I will have a pension when I retire that will support me and allow for me to travel a little bit and enjoy life."

I have already had to answer the second one, a number of times. Along with the question how many girlfriends have you had? Which of course is a trick question for which there is no correct answer!

[earthdome]

You almost have the same plan as what's my bf had been planning (actually our plan), Goodluck with your upcoming visit to your gf's place. I do hope everything will turn out good.

Thanks

[Dave Hounddriver]

If you are prepared to pay for a pig and all the rest of the meal. If you are prepared to buy beer or Emperador for all the men and softdrinks for the women and children. If you are prepared to hand over a few hundred pesos to each of the poor family members who make the trek to visit the great foriegner. If you are prepared to sing a little karaoke and dance a bit with the GUYS. If you can do all this and where a smile and mean it. Then you be DA MAN, the son-in-law

[earthdome]

If you are prepared to pay for a pig and all the rest of the meal. If you are prepared to buy beer or Emperador for all the men and softdrinks for the women and children. If you are prepared to hand over a few hundred pesos to each of the poor family members who make the trek to visit the great foriegner. If you are prepared to sing a little karaoke and dance a bit with the GUYS. If you can do all this and where a smile and mean it. Then you be DA MAN, the son-in-law

Yeah... that is the big question. I am sure that after a few days I will be ready to leave with the gf to spend some quality time together away from the family.

[earthdome]

I just wanted to mention how much this forum has helped me learn about the Philippines and what to expect during my visit and when I move there to live full time. Thank you to all those who post regularly and keep a healthy perspective on life in the Philippines.

All the good info on this forum will help reduce my culture shock immeasurably.

[JJReyes]

Haven't been asked the first one yet. That question will need a generic response which confirms that I can support myself but without disclosing any numbers. Perhaps something like, "I will have a pension when I retire that will support me and allow for me to travel a little bit and enjoy life."

The question on wealth will more likely be asked by the father or a brother. You already have a good response prepared if asked. Actually, it is a very diplomatic response.

It terms of gift giving, my suggestion is something more generic rather than individualized items. It should be a quantity sufficient for the entire family, extended family and maybe close neighbors. From Hawaii, I would take a case of chocolate covered Macadamia nuts containing 12 individual boxes. Another gift possibility is Shortbread from Scotland in a large metal container. The brand name sold in Costco stores with the approach of Christmas is Walker. The gift or gifts (a separate one for your girl friend, usually jewelry like a bracelet), shouldn't be overly expensive. Otherwise, they may expect the same relative value in the future.

By the way, the gift to your girl friend should be done in private. If done in the presence of the family, it may be sending the wrong signal. She will show the gift later to everyone.

Edited September 17, 2012 by JJR

[i am bob]

You were asking about when to get flowers.... If you are getting bouquets, I would wait until after the bus ride or at least the last stop (if you have time)... You did say it was an 8 hour ride, did you not? Not good to bring mom and your prospective Mrs dead or wilted flowers... The basketball and books sound like a good idea too! I think that it might be better to give those at a later time than when everybody else is around though or they might expect something too. Seeing as you're from the midwest (not sure exactly where though), are there any special items in your area that would make great gifts? My line of thinking is like this: my hometown is Niagara (the Tourist Trap of North America) so I have lots of things I could bring, someone from NH or Maine could look at maple syrup, and then there is always the joker from Florida who will have a couple cans of Florida Sunshine... hehe!

[earthdome]

You were asking about when to get flowers.... If you are getting bouquets, I would wait until after the bus ride or at least the last stop (if you have time)... You did say it was an 8 hour ride, did you not? Not good to bring mom and your prospective Mrs dead or wilted flowers... The basketball and books sound like a good idea too! I think that it might be better to give those at a later time than when everybody else is around though or they might expect something too. Seeing as you're from the midwest (not sure exactly where though), are there any special items in your area that would make great gifts? My line of thinking is like this: my hometown is Niagara (the Tourist Trap of North America) so I have lots of things I could bring, someone from NH or Maine could look at maple syrup, and then there is always the joker from Florida who will have a couple cans of Florida Sunshine... hehe!

Yeah, giving wilted flowers would not be a good thing. I may wait until the following morning after I arrive when I go to the market with my gf to buy her and her mother flowers.

I agree that those gifts which are not for the entire family should be given in private or when the entire family isn't together.

Regarding localized gifts, I was thinking of some team T-Shirts from the University where I work.