What To Look Out For On The Asian Dating Sites - Warning Long Post

[BrettGC]

*Apologies for the formatting - I'll fix it up later - Pasted from an openoffice doc*

Hi guys,

Just thought I'd share my experience so

far. You have to bear in mind that I haven't met any of the women

personally so far but I've chatted to many. Most appear to be

genuine but there are some that are outright scammers.

I've been using 3 sites:

CB

FC and,

One dedicated to Cebuana ladies

only

If you want more info on any of the

sites or their full url PM me.

I think what's struck me the most is

the amount of interest shown in me; I am inundated daily with mails,

“smiles” and “interest”. The other thing that's surprising

for a western man is how quickly most of these women proclaim their

affection and undying love for you. When questioned on this the

ladies give a multitude of answers which on the surface appear to be

somewhat asinine but when given some thought to what motivates these

women, and taking into account their cultural background, make

perfect sense (most of you know more about PI culture than I do so I

won't elaborate on that).

A little about my profile: A couple of

things should stand out to the ladies if they've actually taken the

time to read my profile.

I'm moving the the Philippines

I'm not keen on more children

but theirs' are fine

I'm going there to retire at the

tender age of 44 (I will be 44 by April)

All three of the sites have a great

little functionality that allows you to see who's viewed your

profile, so when matched up against the correspondence received it's

a great first level of filtering. Secondly I carefully read their

profile and if they're too far outside the limits I've set on a

variety of criteria they're gone – if they've taken the time to

send me an email prior to this I politely reply “Thanks, but no

thanks”, in so many words; there's no point to being rude or just

ignoring these women, at least they've taken the time to put pen to

paper, so to speak, rather than just click a single button so the

least I can do is show some common courtesy. Thirdly I then check

their photos, if they fall within the bounds of what I find

attractive – shallow I know, but hey, we can afford to be choosy –

I contact them with a message. I should mention that I don't tend to

respond to women who's profile has only one picture, but more on that

later. Now we're in the correspondence phase I quiz them on my

profile reiterating the above 3 points. I was initially surprised to

find that me moving to PI doesn't discourage many of these ladies,

unlike my experience on similar Thai dating sites, yes, some

do lose interest but the majority hang around. After some thought I

remembered how the average Filipina is with family – it is all. I

found this encouraging but also kept in mind someone else’s post

regarding the 2 hour rule ;). Point 2 of the above does cause a fair

few to drop off the band wagon; that's life and I appreciate their

honesty, I'd hate to be in a situation sometime in the future where

we end up resenting each other due to our views on this. It should

be noted that of those that do stick around some, when they find out

I've had a vasectomy, run for the hills; I'm guessing up to that

point, they think they can convince me to change my mind on the

issue. It would take an exceptional woman for me to let anyone down

there again with sharp objects to reverse the procedure! I should

also mention that my profile states that I'm moving either to Cebu,

Manila or Davao (different reasons for all – not going into it

here), so another quick filtering device. Now onto point 3, and

this is where I need some advice guys and may have to change my

approach to this little chestnut. Some of the women, when they find

out I'm retiring, expect that they're going to be retiring with me.

Now to my mind, this doesn't show a very good work ethic and they're

just looking for an easy ride with a “rich” western man and

speaks volumes of their character. Am I completely wrong in this?

The above mentioned site 1 also has a very handy functionality, it

shows their IP address. You can do a quick trace route in any of a

number of free IP tracking programs with a geographical mapping

function to verify their location. Site 1 does tell you which

country they last logged in from but I like to check myself. Why is

this important? Couple of reasons: Helps pick up scammers and 2,

I'm not moving to PI to enter into a distance relationship with a

lady in another country, simple as that. You will get a lot of

responses from non-Filipinas particularly on site 1, as it's not a PI

only site. I receive a couple a day from other Asian countries as

well as Eastern Europe. Obviously they're just deleted.

Now onto the scams:

Things to look out for:

One picture only on their

profile – this isn't hard and fast but I have found that a LOT

of women after money only, only put up only one picture

Pictures that are obviously of

much younger women than their stated age. Now this of course,

isn't fool proof given the common ability of many Asian women to

be very well preserved but it does raise my suspicions

Once you get them in Skype or

whatever vidcon program you prefer there's only a passing or no

similarity to their published pictures – some will tell you it's

because they have no make up on, but really guys, they must think

we're stupid or desperate or both. As soon as this happens I

report them to the relevant dating site.

You'll see a lot of profile

descriptions stating identical things; a common one is “My

parents were killed in a plane crash and I'm all alone in the

world”

They won't video chat with you

They won't video chat with you

They won't video chat with you

They're in Africa

They're in Africa

They're in Africa

The will video chat with you but

with no voice

They won't video chat with you

They're in Africa

They direct you to a nude cam

site – report them

Did I mention they won't video

conference you and they're in Africa? All 3 of the sites I use have

a very strict policy on beggars/scams; don't hesitate to report them.

In a way feel a little sorry for these women but as harsh as it

sounds their situation is not my problem. As compassionate a

bleeding heart as I am, I'm not a charity.

Things requested so far:

Outright requests for money on

the first chat due to poverty – report them

Money for a dying relative –

report them

Money for medicine – report

them

Money for education – report

them

Money for a flight to Australia

claiming they have a working visa here but can't afford the flight

(particularly imaginative that one I thought – in the context of

the norm that is) – report them

Money for repairs to house etc

as their nipa hut has collapsed yet again – report them

Money for internet time with you

– report them

Money for cam/mic/headset and in

three cases full computers/laptops/tablets – report them.

Money for the bar exam to the

tune of $6000, I looked it up, it costs $75. I wasn't sending it

either way but was curious – report them

Keeping that all in mind I'm actually

talking to 3 women at the moment. There's been no requests for

anything from them other than smiles, laughter, warmth and empathy.

I'm enjoying my online time with them and I know I'm going to have to

make a decision sooner or later or just wait until I arrive. Not

sure. Maybe we should all start a reality TV show based on all this.

Anyway guys, just my experience so far,

I hope it helps. It would be great if some of the older hands at

this would like to contribute to the discussion as well or some of

you guys new to this want to share too.

Take Care,

Brett

[Call me bubba]

a site that I have heard of to report these fine outstanding females is DRAGONLADIES and it does help if 1 is being scam to report to them. so that others would know.

.

about the 1's who want $$$. play them along........why??

if they are looking for a big catch,,, they will be spending their time on you and not others. in a way abet small part. you are preventing them from scamming another until you get tired of them, or they get tired of you.

 thanks for the post.

wish I had time to "date here in asia/philippines" but i have 2 children and

my other free time is devoted to the 1 who brings me so much comfort,

 

 yes thats right its    http://www.philippines-expats.com/? :omg:

[Bruce]

Hey... don't forget to use an ALIAS!

 

Try something easy to remember like... oh.... say.... I don't know..... maybe Thomas Reid of Australia... and develop a personality / back ground that is easy to remember. LIke professional crock wrestler / internet developer and you live on the interest from your inheritance as the last member (on your mother's side) of the FOSTERS BEER BREWERY and remember to say things like Crikey! :hystery:  :morning1:  :10001:

 

Oh yes... do not forget to mention that you won the Ozzie Of The Year Award! That can't hurt your chances!

Edited January 28, 2013 by Bruce

[stevewool]

i must have been lucky , there was only 1 that i got attached to but she was playing a few different men at the same time, can you blame her not at all, this is where your head must rule and not your dick, once you get into the way they come across and stick to your guns the true ones comes across like girlfriend sort of thing the cons are the ones that tell you every thing you want to hear.                                                Person.com was the one that i found ok for talking to asia, and at home Plenty of fish, but i must admit when i first started it was fine, the last few times on the sites they seemed to attract more from Russia

[OnMyWay]

When I used those web sites my requirements eventually read like a job posting!   :hystery:

 

My profile was similar to yours:  Retiring in Phils, 1 or 2 kids ok but don't want to have kids (new babies!).

 

After a few of the scammers got me going a few times, wasting my time, I added one line at the top that discouraged almost all of the scammers from that point on.  It was something like:

 

"If you are a scammer just trying to get money, go away now and don't read any further.  I am not going to fall for your scam, ever.  Nice ladies, please continue!   :-)".

 

Not very romantic but it worked!  Now of course it did not get rid of the ones who don't even read the profile and "show interest", but it did scare off a lot of the time wasters!

 

There are some really good and genuine women on some of the sites.  Take your time!

[Thomas]

Some of the women, when they find out I'm retiring, expect that they're going to be retiring with me. Now to my mind, this doesn't show a very good work ethic and they're just looking for an easy ride with a “rich” western man and speaks volumes of their character. Am I completely wrong in this?

Well. That depend of what they mean with "retire".

/Bad if they expect to do nothing, having maid(-s) doing all house work

/but OK if they mean they will stop being EMPLOYED/own business, but take care of your HOME, because the Philippines are much more traditional, it's still common after marriage the husband bring in the money and wife take care of home and kids. (=As it was in northern Europe 50 years ago). 

But not so odd if they expect to "retire" SOME from home work too (=get some maid assistance) because you retire at only age 44  :mocking:

 

Scam signals/ 2. Pictures that are obviously of             much younger women than their stated age. Now this of course, isn't fool proof given the common ability of many Asian women to be very well preserved but it does raise my suspicions

 

Yes. That's not a sure sign. 

/Not so odd if some chose to show a nice photo, which is from some years ago (if not to many.)

/Many Filipinas REALY look much younger than they are.

(I do too. Many don't believe me, when I tell I'm 59, more common guess is around 40. I have "young genes". My mother got grumpy when she got her first wrincle. Then she was 72   :hystery:

 

Once you get them in Skype or  whatever vidcon program you prefer there's only a passing or no similarity to their published pictures – some will tell you it's because they have no make up on, but really guys, they must think we're stupid or desperate or both.

Well. That's not sure. Women can change look much by clothes, make up and hair dying. 

(I send 4 Filipina photos a friend of mine, who think of moving to RP. He wondered why I had 4 girlfriends, but it was of SAME my gf  :hystery: I counted she has looked as 11 different just since I got to knew her. (Some of the looks have SOME similarities, I would guess it was a cousin/sister to her, if I didn't knew. Once it even took time before I regogniced my own youngest sister   :mocking:

But you are corect, some put in photos of other than themselves. A friend of mine have looked many years for wife through datingsites, and went to meet many (before webcams). Some had put in photo of sister or cousin "Because she look better"    :hystery:

 

they will be spending their time on you and not others. in a way abet small part. you are preventing them from scamming another

That's not sure. Several have told about women, who get money from a bunch of "bf" parallell.

 

there was only 1 that i got attached to but she was playing a few different men at the same time, can you blame her not at all

I agree. Not odd if women too check more than one - NOT asking for money - until meet, because they don't know if THEY are scamed by the MEN...   :)      

(I know some women, who have spend much time contact with only ONE man, and spend much money too for them for much Internet contact with that man, ending up he never arrive. One Englishman after 10 months even asked HER (poor office worker) to send money TO HIM for flight ticket!!!  :angry: which she of course couldn't. She became very sad...)

Edited January 28, 2013 by Thomas

[Americano]

I used the dating sites for a few years until I met my current wife so I know the things Brett said about the scammers are true. My wife tells me that only about 10% of Filipinas are good and can be trusted and the longer I live in the Philippines the more proof I have that she is correct. We even know some Filipinas who have a foreigner boyfriend or husband and have a Filipino boyfriend too but the foreigner doesn't know.

Last year a foreigner who still lives and works in his home country got suspicious that his Filipino girlfriend who lives in our area was cheating on him so he hired my wife and me to do some surveillance for him. It didn't take long to prove that she was lying to him. When he questioned her about visitors she said she never had visitors but actually she had a regular male visitor who would stay several hours with her some nights and some nights she would go somewhere and not come back home all night. She is just one example of the lying deceitful women I have met in the Philippines. I could write a book on the rest of them.

If anyone has a Filipina girlfriend or wife and don't believe the things said so far on this topic are true then maybe you should question her honesty for not telling you the truth about what many Filipino women are up to. Its getting hard to find a good and honest woman anywhere in the world.

Edited January 29, 2013 by Americano

[Bruce]

I used the dating sites for a few years until I met my current wife so I know the things Brett said about the scammers are true. My wife tells me that only about 10% of Filipinas are good and can be trusted and the longer I live in the Philippines the more proof I have that she is correct. We even know some Filipinas who have a foreigner boyfriend or husband and have a Filipino boyfriend too but the foreigner doesn't know.

Last year a foreigner who still lives and works in his home country got suspicious that his Filipino girlfriend who lives in our area was cheating on him so he hired my wife and me to do some surveillance for him. It didn't take long to prove that she was lying to him. When he questioned her about visitors she said she never had visitors but actually she had a regular male visitor who would stay several hours with her some nights and some nights she would go somewhere and not come back home all night. She is just one example of the lying deceitful women I have met in the Philippines. I could write a book on the rest of them.

If anyone has a Filipina girlfriend or wife and don't believe the things said so far on this topic are true then maybe you should question her honesty for not telling you the truth about what many Filipino women are up to. Its getting hard to find a good and honest woman anywhere in the world.

 

 

OOPS!!!! Ah... let me point out a small issue in your statement above. It is a slight thing that may be indicative of deeper issues. All brought to us by our old friend Sigmund Freud!

 

And if other members want to say something.. perhaps ask your wife or GF her opinion first......

 

 

OK, when a man referrs to his wife as 'my CURRENT wife' :bash:  while perhaps an accurate statement, it is similar in nature and intent as referring to your GF as your 'next wife'.

 

Unless of course you are a muslim were wives come and go like changing your underwear. :hystery:

[Americano]

Well Sigmund,

 

I said my current wife instead of my Filipino wife because my last wife was a Filipino too.  My last wife didn't tell me anything about Filipinas  who are scammers and liars but my current wife has.  Does that make you feel better about my deeper issues?  Just joking, maybe we all have deeper issues who choose to live in the Philippines.

 

Go ahead and analyze that statement too.

 

By the way, I'm not Muslim but I have owned some pairs of underwear longer than I was married to some women, but to make a good statement my current wife will be my last one.

Edited January 30, 2013 by Americano

[Bruce]

Years ago I made the 'current wife' introduction mistake myself.... she pointed it out to me.... OOPS! :bash:  SInce then I have remembered it.....