Just Who Has The Cultural Gap?

[Methersgate]

I might add that an aspect of the Mindanao story is familiar if you are British, and certainly if you are Irish.

 

The incomers were Christians, and one aspect of Government policy in Mindanao, like current Chinese policy in Xinjiang and in Tibet and the policy of the British government in Ireland four hundred years ago, has been to overwhelm the Moslem natives of Mindanao by settling huge numbers of people more likely to be loyal to the Government there.

 

(Which is why Sir David Trimble has been working on peace and reconciliation in Mindanao.) 

[Thomas]

Mindanao is for the twentieth century Filipino what the West was for the nineteenth century American; it is the Frontier.

Molave, the town of fifty thousand people where my beloved grew up, in Zamboanga del Sur, did not exist in 1930. Her parents moved to Zamboanga del Sur from Negros Oriental in the nineteen sixties, because they could get land and start a farm in Mindanao.

Sound familiar? If you are American, it should do.

Yes.  

That's why the dominatic language at big parts of Mndanao is Cebuano.

(E g a family I know a bit moved from the stony soil in Bohol mountains to Agusan del Sur around 20 years ago to get good soil,

but they found the people there hostile, so they moved back.)

 

The origin people from Iligan region was pushed away to southwest mountains by invaders from north, but that was much earlier than what you write about.

[starlet]

Most people in Mindanao are first or second generation immigrants from the North.

Mindanao is for the twentieth century Filipino what the West was for the nineteenth century American; it is the Frontier.

Molave, the town of fifty thousand people where my beloved grew up, in Zamboanga del Sur, did not exist in 1930. Her parents moved to Zamboanga del Sur from Negros Oriental in the nineteen sixties, because they could get land and start a farm in Mindanao.

Sound familiar? If you are American, it should do.

Yes, there are indeed many similarities between settlers at the Western Frontier in America in the 1800s and Mindanao from 1930-1970.

 

The grandparents of my wife was settlers  in what is now called Zamboanga Sibugay Priovince.They where Christian filipinos coming in from Bohol. Together with some other familes they cleared land in the wide and fertile Sibugay walley, and established a agricultural society deep in the interior of Zamboanga Peninsula. This happened in the 1950's. The whole walley was at the time just a wast jungle and the land of the Subanon Tribe. Sadly for them, they lost bit by bit their forest and their livelyhood. Today Sibugay Walley consist of rice-land, and is populated by visayan-speaking christian farmers. The Subanon People are more or less without land and make their living as dayworker for the settlers.

 

The "colonization" of Mindanano from Visayan and Luzon, was an important mean for the politicians in Manila to gain control over the huge island in the south. I think that a large part of the conflcts that we see in Mindanao today, could be understood as a consequence of this massive resettlement between 1930 and 1970.

Edited August 16, 2014 by starlet

[Methersgate]

Yes, there are indeed many similarities between settlers at the Western Frontier in America in the 1800s and Mindanao from 1930-1970.   The grandparents of my wife was settlers  in what is now called Zamboanga Sibugay Priovince.They where Christian filipinos coming in from Bohol. Together with some other familes they cleared land in the wide and fertile Sibugay walley, and establised a agricultural society deep in the interior of Zamboanga Peninsula. This happened in the 1950's. The whole walley was at the time just a wast jungle and the land of the Subanon Tribe. Sadly for them, they lost bit by bit their forest and their livelyhood. Today Sibugay Walley consist of rice-land, and is populated by visayan-speaking christian farmers. The Subanon People are more or less without land and make their living as dayworker for the settlers.  

The "colonization" of Mindanano from Visayan and Luzon, was an important mean for the politicians in Manila to gain control over the huge island in the south. I think that a large part of the conflcts that we see in Mindanao today, can be explained as a consequence of this massive resettlement between 1930 and 1970.

Very true and very well said. "Like" is not strong enough to express how much I agree with what you write.

[UnCheckedOther]

Interesting question, Bob. From my own experiences as well as observing the dynamics between my American dad and Cebuana mom, I'd say that my mom was the one who really made the effort to bridge the cultural gap. I mean, my dad was familiar with the culture--Hawai'i is a salad, after all--but he merely tolerated the Philippine culture but didn't really participate in it fully. He was multi-lingual, but didn't bother to learn Bisaya, Tagalog, or Waray. My mom spoke to him in English, and tried to learn bits and pieces of 'olelo Hawai'i (my dad's part Hawaiian). My mom learned how to make the non-Filipino food he preferred. Whenever we'd visit the Philippines, my grandmother would make two sets of meals--one that catered to my dad's (and sometimes my own's) tastebuds, and Filipino food. Dad encouraged my mom to not be friends with what he called "uneducated FOBs" because he wanted her to reduce her heavy accent. My mom raised me as an American, I guess, but she also made sure I knew the languages and the culture. Looking back, it must've been a sad and lonely existence for her, especially when she told me that she just wants me to know where I came from even if I don't appreciate it. (For the record, I do appreciate and respect it, even if some Filipino-isms confuse me.)

Of course, my dad did his bit in their cross-cultural marriage. Although he believed in independence and self-sufficiency, he nonetheless supported my mom's family financially. From a living stipend and uni education to weddings, he paid for them all. This, of course, led to a sense of leeching entitlement, but that's another story. My dad was a Humanist and had to put up with the hyper Catholicism of my mom's family. Once a year, he also had to put up with the balikbayan and pasalubong circus when we visited the Philippines. For a man who was intensely private and with a work life filled with appointments/screened visitors, I can imagine how difficult it must have been to be "picked up" at the airport by twenty people or to have "guests" visiting at all hours of the day, demanding pasalubong and fare back to wherever they came from. As I look back, it really bothers me that some members of my mom's family didn't see my dad for the man that he was, but rather, as a monolithic ATM Kano.

In short, there will always be cultural gaps betwen a foreigner and a Pinay. When you are with a Pinay, you not only marry her, but her family as well. Whether or not the relationship is successful depends on whether you are comfortable having third (or fourth, fifth...nth) parties in your relationship.

[robert k]

In answer to Bob's question in the title, I have the cultural gap. I was raised by wolves and sometimes people are incomprehensible! Much less any national, regional, religious or ethnic group among them. :)

 

I sometimes wonder if I am distantly related to Jake though, he spends alot of time in the doghouse.

[Jake]

In short, there will always be cultural gaps between a foreigner and a Pinay. When you are with a Pinay, you not only marry her, but her family as well.  Whether or not the relationship is successful depends on whether you are comfortable having third (or fourth, fifth...nth) parties in your relationship.

 

Hello Miss Unchecked,

 

Triple LIKE girl!  Your profound summary above is right on the mark.  It's really the amount of tolerance level on how well we can

adjust or in some cases, will not tolerate nonsense, like your father.  And I can readily see his struggles between the two worlds.  

 

Your mother has the stronger heart even though I can feel her deep sense of missing her family and culture.  As a typical old

school Pinay, she suffers in silence just like Mother Mary, which they worship also and may have a more emotional and spiritual

connection.    

 

We must commend your parents, in spite of cultural issues, on how they raised a well rounded daughter who is well ed-ju-ma-cated

and well articulate to write such a beautiful essay with a headshot bulls eye like this one: 

 

As I look back, it really bothers me that some members of my mom's family didn't

see my dad for the man that he was, but rather, as a monolithic ATM Kano.

 

See.....we are learning from you as well, respectfully -- Kuya Jake

Edited September 12, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[Jake]

In answer to Bob's question in the title, I have the cultural gap. I was raised by wolves and sometimes people are incomprehensible! Much less any national, regional, religious or ethnic group among them. :)

 

I sometimes wonder if I am distantly related to Jake though, he spends a lot of time in the doghouse.

Hey TC (tank commander),

 

Now, that's an interesting topic!  The cultural differences in the so called doghouse.  Is there such a place to go

to lick your wounds, Filipino style?  When your wife is chasing you with a bolo knife, where do you run and hide?

 

As a former Boy Scout, I am so inspired by the lone Wolf and their protective nature of the wolf pack.  But it's the

Alfa Female that runs the show.  Very similar to my Filipina wife Judy but she does have a heart of gold.  With

her permission, I was able to install a 32" LCD TV in my doghouse......bless her heart.

 

Sabot UP!

Edited September 12, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[jpbago]

UnCheckedOther, excellent post there in #25. I can relate to most of it.

[davewe]

Great thread. Some of the answers have been about the "culture gap" but more have been about an economic or class gap. Such gaps exist all over the world. Differences between the haves and have nots. For what it's worth, it all reminded me of the following story:

 

My ex-wife and I married about 20 years ago. After the wedding we traveled to NYC for a 2nd party (since all of both families were from the East Coast). One of the exes friends was a musician and she gave us tickets to see Phantom, which still dominated Broadway at the time.

 

Just days later we went on our honeymoon to Trinidad and Tobago, where the exes family was originally from. We spent a wonderful week in Tobago, a beautiful but very third world place, poorer than the Philippines but similar in many ways.

 

We then traveled to Trinidad where we spent the week with cousins of my ex. Trinidad bustles with activity; totally different from Tobago. The cousin managed a successful business and their home looked like a typical middle class American home. I am sitting in their living room listening to my ex catch up on family events with the wife of the cousin. The woman spoke with a clipped British accent. With nothing to do I found myself thumbing through their CD collection when I stumble upon the Soundtrack to Phantom. Finally I have something to say and bragged to the cousin that "we just saw the show on Broadway and it was wonderful!"

 

She responded, "We liked the Broadway production but the London production was of course superior. Actually, we thought the Toronto production was the best of them all." I sat their open-mouthed, the epitome of the Ugly American.

 

From then on I have never judged a person based on where they came; might be one reason I love the Philippines.

Edited October 9, 2014 by davewe