I Am Probably The Father Of A 1 Year Old Child

[Jake]

Hi all

 

I just got the message yesterday and it's still a bit of a shock to say the least. 

 

I haven't fully processed it yet, it's such an unexpected event. And yet I am someone who takes responsibility for his actions, and intend to do my part if he is really my son. 

 

As for my personal situation, I am in my thirties, single, have a solid job outside my home country in Europe, but am not rich by any means. I have the financial means to support her and our son in the Philippines, but could not bring her where I currently live and work. 

 

I try to think straight but it's really hard, I need to act fast, make decisions, discuss things with the mother but have no idea what to do, how to proceed. It's all a bit too much to me and would really appreciate your help. 

Hello A Father to Be,

 

I apologize for dissecting your post above......I'm highlighting your statement because as a new member, you brought us into

your inner world of deep and sad feelings and more importantly, you're showing your moral values as a human being.  We

commend you for your courage to reveal openly your private life and your deep sense of responsibility and accountability.  

 

Based on your narrative thus far, my overall opinion is to proceed with caution.  Your are currently in a state of shock.  You

have an extreme overload of anxiety, shame, self pity, anger and remorse -- they all ping pong through your head which

will affect your general health (can't eat, can't sleep).  I know, I've been there.  Many of us got thrown under the bus too.......

 

Hang in there!  Respectfully -- Jake

[sjp52]

There was a situation just like this on another forum. The guy was sent a pic of a child that looked just like him and he had slept with the girl at the right time. He too was excited about being a father but he took his time and in the end the dna test was negative/ She was trying to scam him.

[Jake]

A child is now a 1 year old. Why the emergency-as Jollygoodfellow simply advised? Premium price for a same day int'l ticket? That's got to cost an arm and a leg in itself. Not to mention all the expenses involved. It's not like a loved one is on their death bed or something. I'm hoping there's follow up on this story as the OP may now be on his way (?).

Hey Steve,

 

For a typical farm boy from Kansas who drives a harvester with GPS, your comment above is a head shot bulls eye!

For many of us, we just can't jump on an airplane and fix a problem thousands of miles away.  We also need that last

minute permission for time off (again) from work.  

 

The bottom line is a deep pocket expense of both time and money......again, emotional decision vs logical decision.  

 

Respectfully -- Jake

[stevewool]

why did you not wear protection , just a thought

[Jack Peterson]

The bottom line is a deep pocket expense of both time and money.

 

 

And lets hope, this is not Abused  :no:

 

Morning All. :tiphat:  :morning1:

[OnMyWay]

There was a situation just like this on another forum. The guy was sent a pic of a child that looked just like him and he had slept with the girl at the right time. He too was excited about being a father but he took his time and in the end the dna test was negative/ She was trying to scam him.

 

Any child who is half Filipino / half Caucasian is going to look somewhat like you, Afathertobe.  You should slow down, be objective, and consider all your options.  I agree with those who say you should not marry this woman.  She does not seem like marriage material and seems to be living a lot of lies.

[Americano]

Afathertobe you should have the DNA test performed yourself and preferably in China if that's where you are working. Its too easy to pay for a positive DNA test results in the Philippines. If you just give the woman or a hospital or clinic a DNA sample and then leave you will not know the real results of the test.

 

Several years ago all Filipinos were required to have a medical exam at St. Luke's Clinic in Manila before they could obtain a visa to travel to some countries. Couples would also go to the clinic for DNA tests to prove maternity. After an investigation that discovered a high number of positive DNA test were paid for and were fake the government no longer accepts DNA test from St. Luke's Clinic. Almost everything can be obtained with a bribe in the Philippines. Even fake DNA test results can be purchased without even doing a test.

[afathertobe]

Thanks a lot for the advice guys, your comments are well appreciated even if I read them at a stage where a lot has changed already. 

 

Everything was as she claimed, the little boy is indeed my son, there is not the shadow of a doubt for me anymore, even though two DNA tests (will need them for paperwork in both countries later) are of course still outstanding. But the resemblance is so striking and the connection was so immediate, he is my son, and a great son at that. So I'm a happy man, spent the weekend with the very caring family, he is very well taken care of and will stay with the mother, in a safe guarded condo complex. I will visit as often as I can and be a father to him. But in my absence the whole extended family is in love with the little guy and is looking after him.

 

I take no offense at your sceptical and cautious remarks, they are certainly warranted, and I will be prudent and take everything step by step, but the result will still be: I am the father. 

[Jack Peterson]

I take no offense at your sceptical and cautious remarks, they are certainly warranted, and I will be prudent and take everything step by step, but the result will still be: I am the father. 

 

 

 

:)  then. my friend, may I take this Opportunity, to wish you all the Very best. I really hope, things work out for you.Please don't be a stranger, let us know from Time to time, how things are working out for you all.

 

 

:hystery:  Oooooooooops I nearly Forgot, Congratulations on being a new Father.   :cheersty:

[i am bob]

And may I add my congratulations as well! Good luck on whatever you decide for the future and I am sure the rest of us would also enjoy future reports of your trials and tribulations.. Maybe someone else may learn something good from this for use on their own life? :)