Expanding Out From The Comfort Zone

[jpbago]

Nobody speaks English in my city so my wife has to translate making it not easy to talk to anyone especially conversations. There is no Rotary nor zumba. There are some foreigners but they stay at home. The college graduates that we know must have got a backer to get them a pass in English.

[John Mogusar]

With most expats living in the Philippines for the simple reason that it is the home country of their spouse, I was wondering who may have ventured outside the circle of their family to find new Filipino friends-reasonably close friends at that-totally unrelated. I ask this because as I make the move there, I am by nature a social person, all be it savvy to underlying intentions, but nonetheless don't envision myself in my new home being totally restricted to the inner circle (family) completely. Can anyone share a little about some of these relationships you might have-and possibly your spouse's reaction to it as well?

I'm not speaking from the viewpoint of having a spouse, but I cannot imagine my experience in the Philippines without finding some good Filipino friends. I'm by no means a shy person, but I am quiet.

 

In the states, I do have many friends, but they are all volleyball players and that's pretty much all I talk about with them. That's how I like it: I don't like going to parties or large get-togethers. Yeah, we occasionally go out to eat and talk about a range of other things, but beyond volleyball (I play a lot of it) I don't care for a lot of social interaction.

 

That all seems to change when I'm in the Philippines. Filipinos are interested in learning about America and the way things are. Friends are extremely easy to make and if you treat them with respect, you can find some that are fiercely loyal. Most have no expectations and only wish to be your friend. Of course, you must use some degree of caution initially, but the more friends you make within the same circles, the more you come to trust everyone. If there were people that couldn't be trusted so much, others would let me know. But I never had any real problems.

 

I played volleyball on the barangay team, hung out singing karaoke (I hadn't sung since fourth grade!), and attended various parties, fiestas and barangay functions.

 

I lived in a fairly rural barangay, about three miles outside of a medium sized city on Cebu island. Because I got to know nearly everyone in the barangay, I felt very comfortable and I never felt in any danger.

 

I met several Americans who had NO good Filipino friends. They just seemed totally disconnected from the culture and (as many foreigners often do) they constantly complained about the way things are done in the Philippines. A couple always seemed to be completely miserable.

 

Anyway, my point is that I guess some people can move to the Philippines and be content being an outsider. But I think that if they gave it a chance (and exhibit a decent amount of patience and are easy-going), they will find the experience much more enjoyable by mingling with the Filipinos.

[i am bob]

Anyway, my point is that I guess some people can move to the Philippines and be content being an outsider. But I think that if they gave it a chance (and exhibit a decent amount of patience and are easy-going), they will find the experience much more enjoyable by mingling with the Filipinos.

 

The funny thing is that I find this works no matter where you are in the world - some people just can't figure that out though, can they...!  Thanks, John!

 

:tiphat:

[Hey Steve]

 

Anyway, my point is that I guess some people can move to the Philippines and be content being an outsider. But I think that if they gave it a chance (and exhibit a decent amount of patience and are easy-going), they will find the experience much more enjoyable by mingling with the Filipinos.

 

The funny thing is that I find this works no matter where you are in the world - some people just can't figure that out though, can they...!  Thanks, John!

 

:tiphat:

 

The only challenge I would have to what you said, Bob-and the reason the Philippines to me is unique in this topic, is the general understanding of the English language-to varying degrees-yes, but I can't see myself learning a whole new language in any most other countries just to try to have a conversation with anyone, let alone make friends with them-something that to me sets them apart.... IMHO.

[i am bob]

Anyway, my point is that I guess some people can move to the Philippines and be content being an outsider. But I think that if they gave it a chance (and exhibit a decent amount of patience and are easy-going), they will find the experience much more enjoyable by mingling with the Filipinos.

The funny thing is that I find this works no matter where you are in the world - some people just can't figure that out though, can they...! Thanks, John!

:tiphat:

The only challenge I would have to what you said, Bob-and the reason the Philippines to me is unique in this topic, is the general understanding of the English language-to varying degrees-yes, but I can't see myself learning a whole new language in any most other countries just to try to have a conversation with anyone, let alone make friends with them-something that to me sets them apart.... IMHO.

You'd be surprised! My first round on Germany, I knew more of the language before I left than when I came back a few years later... Why? Because it was always a battle! "I practice my English" "no! I need to practice my German" "we practice English or you get no beer"... At that point I always gave in! I eventually lost a lot of my knowledge of the German language. It was like that many places I've been. I learned a bit of Kurdish back in the 80s... Think it got me there? Nope! But it did make me the butt of many jokes in a bar I moonlit in... And saved my butt when the Kurdish mafia came to town. I knew about enough to say " hello lady, you have drink with me?" And I could count to 20. Got me a ride in a big black limo for a "dinner" engagement with the big guy who had body guard with really big bulges under their jackets... And I got to once again practice my English! :)

[SubicSteve]

Never lend money to a Filipino.

 

NEVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES lend money to an expat.

 

Follow those 2 rules when making friends.

[Jack Peterson]

finding some good Filipino friends. I'm by no means a shy person, but I am quiet.   In the states, I do have many friends, but they are all volleyball players and that's pretty much all I talk about with them.

 

 

Then my friend you will soon Fit in cos if they ain't talking Volleyball it will be Basketball or Boxing if Paqui has a match coming up.  :thumbsup:

[Kuya John]

Hey Steve

My slant on it,

It was said to me a long while ago, when you marry a filipina, you marry the family!

So find yourself activities beyond the family circle,preferably of mixed nationalities to keep the balance and your sanity

regards John :tiphat: