Advice About Expat Father Of My Children

[Pedra]

Good day to all! I hope everybody here was doing fine. My problem is about my two sons, their father is from Sweden but he live here in Cebu. He help for the kids but it was not enough and I want to be Legal because I'm worried if he go back to his country. And aside from that he had wife now and they had plan to go sweden. I hope to have any advice to anybody know what I can do or go. thank you

[Call me bubba]

their father is from Sweden

 

has the father acknowledge the paternity? have you or him obtained the children's Swedish citizenship or passports?

 do you have any paper work?  receipts?

or photos showing a relationship 

 

He help for the kids but it was not enough

define whats NOT enough?

is he currently supporting the children?

how much and what is the amount you feel is appropriate to raise just the children NOT you or your lifestyle

 

And aside from that he had wife now

you mean he is married . not to you but married in Sweden?

 

this forum has a member or 2 from sweden they maybe able to advise,

also the PAO office or DEAR PAO in the manila times could advise you too.

 

 ME i am a single (MALE) father raising my 2 children, my budget to support is higher than what the mother can do, so budget can vary from person to person , circumstances to circumstances, situation to situation   

[Methersgate]

 

their father is from Sweden

 

has the father acknowledge the paternity? have you or him obtained the children's Swedish citizenship or passports?

 do you have any paper work?  receipts?

or photos showing a relationship 

 

 

 

He help for the kids but it was not enough

define whats NOT enough?

is he currently supporting the children?

how much and what is the amount you feel is appropriate to raise just the children NOT you or your lifestyle

 

 

 

And aside from that he had wife now

you mean he is married . not to you but married in Sweden?

 

this forum has a member or 2 from sweden they maybe able to advise,

also the PAO office or DEAR PAO in the manila times could advise you too.

 

 ME i am a single (MALE) father raising my 2 children, my budget to support is higher than what the mother can do, so budget can vary from person to person , circumstances to circumstances, situation to situation   

 

This is good advice. You have to start from the documentation.

It is VERY important that the birth certficates show him as the father; after that you need to find out about what rights your children have under Swedish law.

 

[Dave Hounddriver]

He help for the kids but it was not enough

 

You start by going to the Barangay Captain and then, if needed, to a lawyer.  He will say he gives too much, you will say it is not enough.  It is never 'enough' but whatever you are awarded is what you will get.  You know it will not be much and that is why you look here for ways to beat the system.

 

Just as a comparison, a German friend of mine had a child with his live in gf.  She left him and took the child.  The legal system here awarded her 2K pesos a month as they were not married.  The German voluntarily gave her 10K a month.  She still told everyone he does not give enough.  How much would a local Pinoy boy give?

[sonjack2847]

How much would a local Pinoy boy give?

=nothing is the normal amount

[UnCheckedOther]

Aloha Pedra. How do you do? First of all, I'm sorry that you're going through thesedifficulties. Raising kids with a husband/partner is challenging enough, and I cannot imagine what it's like for a single mom. 

 

Now to the nitty-gritty: what do you mean you want to be legal? If you mean legal wife, it seems that that's out of the question, as the bloke is already married. Marrying you is the only way for you to become legal. If you mean legal guardian of the two sons you share and by extension, being legally able to pursue child support, as the above members have said, your sons must be legally recognized by their Swedish father as his sons. Otherwise, you have no other recourse and will sadly be at the mercy of your son's father's generosity. 

 

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_nationality_law

 

You need to dig even further as Wikipedia isn't the final authority on things, but if you were to go by the article above, your sons cannot claim Swedish citizenship because you and their father are not married. They also were conceived and born in the Philippines, not Sweden. In the event that things change and your sons' father decides he wants to marry you, they may then become Swedish citizens provided the marriage occurs before they turn 18. 

 

If citizenship is not your primary concern but rather, financial support, you have more options. If your son's father went through legal proceedings to claim them as his own, then it would be easier (though not a given) to hold him liable for financial support. If your financial support arrangement is without documentation (ie: word of honour), then you are in a tight spot as your son's father merely has a moral obligation to support them, not legal. I do not know what type of arrangement you currently have, but try as best you can to maintain a friendly (or civil, at the very least) communication. If you appear combatative, sometimes other people will dismiss you out of spite. I'm not saying that you ought to be a push-over because you need to stand up for your sons' rights. What I mean is that when all parties are calm, rules by their head rather than heart, then a genuine dialigue occurs rather than simultaneous monologues. Work in cooperatiom with your sons' father. Because he is already married, remember to also be in friendly or civil communication with his wife. Make sure that she knows you are not trying to replace her, but rather, simply trying to ensure that your sons are well taken care of. 

 

 

I wish you the best of luck, and hope that you find a peaceful resolution to your problems. 

 

 

Leilani

[Jack Peterson]

=nothing is the normal amount

 

 

More likely to be asking for donations to his Red Horse (Tanduai) fund

 

 

 

It is VERY important that the birth certficates show him as the father; after that you need to find out about what rights your children have under Swedish law.

 

 

If it is anything like the UK, as they are not married, there will be no Rights. Different maybe if they were resident in the UK, I guess Sweden will be the same. (Thomas where are You?)   :unsure:

 

 

JP :tiphat:

[Pedra]

thank you all.....well he is not give his name to my kids and i think it was hard for me to force him to support his children...may god bless you all

[Call me bubba]

thank you all.....well he is not give his name to my kids and i think it was hard for me to force him to support his children...may god bless you all

You mean that  he did not acknowledge the children on the COLB (that's the birth certificate. ms-102 form)

 

in another post recently 1 woman claimed that 1 man was the father(he had signed the COLB,acknowledge the child), when it came to support, that man who signed was not the father and the mother contacted another man who may be the father to claim  support,

as it may be hard for a man to accept responsibility  of a child when some women go from man to man asking for support. of course i am sure thats not your case

[Julia]

Aloha Pedra. How do you do? First of all, I'm sorry that you're going through thesedifficulties. Raising kids with a husband/partner is challenging enough, and I cannot imagine what it's like for a single mom. 

 

Now to the nitty-gritty: what do you mean you want to be legal? If you mean legal wife, it seems that that's out of the question, as the bloke is already married. Marrying you is the only way for you to become legal. If you mean legal guardian of the two sons you share and by extension, being legally able to pursue child support, as the above members have said, your sons must be legally recognized by their Swedish father as his sons. Otherwise, you have no other recourse and will sadly be at the mercy of your son's father's generosity. 

 

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_nationality_law

 

You need to dig even further as Wikipedia isn't the final authority on things, but if you were to go by the article above, your sons cannot claim Swedish citizenship because you and their father are not married. They also were conceived and born in the Philippines, not Sweden. In the event that things change and your sons' father decides he wants to marry you, they may then become Swedish citizens provided the marriage occurs before they turn 18. 

 

If citizenship is not your primary concern but rather, financial support, you have more options. If your son's father went through legal proceedings to claim them as his own, then it would be easier (though not a given) to hold him liable for financial support. If your financial support arrangement is without documentation (ie: word of honour), then you are in a tight spot as your son's father merely has a moral obligation to support them, not legal. I do not know what type of arrangement you currently have, but try as best you can to maintain a friendly (or civil, at the very least) communication. If you appear combatative, sometimes other people will dismiss you out of spite. I'm not saying that you ought to be a push-over because you need to stand up for your sons' rights. What I mean is that when all parties are calm, rules by their head rather than heart, then a genuine dialigue occurs rather than simultaneous monologues. Work in cooperatiom with your sons' father. Because he is already married, remember to also be in friendly or civil communication with his wife. Make sure that she knows you are not trying to replace her, but rather, simply trying to ensure that your sons are well taken care of. 

 

 

I wish you the best of luck, and hope that you find a peaceful resolution to your problems. 

 

 

Leilani

 

 

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