Have I Just Been Foolish?

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

K's eldest brother runs the family farm, he is a nice chap, very quiet, and I have no issues with him, but I tend to talk more to his wife, whose English is fluent, and to their very bright nine year old daughter, who got the collected works or Roald Dahl from me for Christmas.

They shot off to Ozamiz for a couple of days and it turned out that they were in the ER at the local public hospital, as he has a hydrocele. K said "Tatay's balls are swollen" but I forgot that the family nickname for him is "Tatay" and thought she was speaking of her father. Having straightened that out I noticed that K was saying she ought to call and see how he was, but she did not seem to be in a rush to do so, so I asked "Tatay'"s wife how he was, and was told "OK".

I then Googled "hydrocele" and sent her the links I found, including the UK NHS Direct one as it was far better than the Wiki page. I asked if he needed an operation, and was told yes, and they had booked one for September 16th - waiting list for public hospital over six months.. So I asked if she had checked the cost for private treatment (it's normally an "out patient" operation) and was told P 25K. I was NOT asked to help.

I talked to K and she was feeling guilty, because she had had that much money, but had spent it on building materials for repairs to her parents house - a project that she and Tatay are undertaking between them - just before Tatay was ill, and now she could not help.

So I stepped into the breach and sent her the money. 

Have I just opened the flood gates? Am I about to be submerged in demands for cash? Or have I done the right thing?

Edited by Methersgate
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted

My experience : once you open the door the line up starts and everyone wants a piece of the pie. You become the go to guy. I hope that your experience will be different than mine. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted

A couple things to look at really... This is the "Mrs family"... Do you like them and they like you? Are they expecting you to she'll out money ask the time? Do they blah blah blah...

Seriously, this is a known health issue that can seriously affect somebody for the rest of their life... Could you live with yourself if you had not helped? It's easier to say No to a few than to forgive yourself after saying No to everyone...

In my opinion? You done good!

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I do like the family - actually I like most of them a lot!

I am not good at picking up smoke signals over a bad phone line. I should have realised that the reason K had not been to see her brother - whom she likes, although there is a bit of competitive parenting going on - was that she could not afford to help.

 But I cannot afford to do this on a "regular basis".

I am worried that I may have done one of the things that one should NEVER do - raise expectations that one cannot always fulfil.

Edited by Methersgate
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted

Get them on an insurance plan, either Philhealth or Blue Cross.

 

They have Philhealth. But the co-pay is large.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted

K's eldest brother runs the family farm, he is a nice chap, very quiet, and I have no issues with him, but I tend to talk more to his wife, whose English is fluent, and to their very bright nine year old daughter, who got the collected works or Roald Dahl from me for Christmas.

They shot off to Ozamiz for a couple of days and it turned out that they were in the ER at the local public hospital, as he has a hydrocele. K said "Tatay's balls are swollen" but I forgot that the family nickname for him is "Tatay" and thought she was speaking of her father. Having straightened that out I noticed that K was saying she ought to call and see how he was, but she did not seem to be in a rush to do so, so I asked "Tatay'"s wife how he was, and was told "OK".

I then Googled "hydrocele" and sent her the links I found, including the UK NHS Direct one as it was far better than the Wiki page. I asked if he needed an operation, and was told yes, and they had booked one for September 16th - waiting list for public hospital over six months.. So I asked if she had checked the cost for private treatment (it's normally an "out patient" operation) and was told P 25K. I was NOT asked to help.

I talked to K and she was feeling guilty, because she had had that much money, but had spent it on building materials for repairs to her parents house - a project that she and Tatay are undertaking between them - just before Tatay was ill, and now she could not help.

So I stepped into the breach and sent her the money. 

Have I just opened the flood gates? Am I about to be submerged in demands for cash? Or have I done the right thing?

 

 

I ont kno w what hydrocele is but will look it up.  This is a personal choice IMO and only you (and your wife) can make the call.   Obviously you believe he was worth sending the money and that is all that counts.  I hope he has a good result in hospital.

From reading many of your previous posts, you 'feel the water' before swimming and I am sure your extended family would realise that.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...