The Older Father

[Gratefuled]

My wife has a son fom a failed relationship. She is open to having more children if it is the will of God ( her words).  I prefer not to but I'm open to whatever. I have children and grandchildren back home.  ( I avoid sex during her ovulation)  (grin)

I had to win her son's love. He was raised for 10 years without a father image. He is almost 15 now. We have bonded and have a good relationship now. We include him in everything we do and everywhere we go. He is not left out. His only roblem is his English comprehension and that has slowed his learning ability in school. He is behind his peers but catching up. I tutor him and he responds well. 

We play Monopoly with his friends and his mother. I've taught him to play Dominoes and Rummy. He beats me at Chess sometimes but I have many excuses. (smile)

I'm having fun and so is he. 

[Methersgate]

My age on the outside is 56 inside 21, and my wife is 39,

I have 5 kids all grown up but Ems does not have any

 

I was born when my father was 50 my sister was born when he was 56. We both got on wonderfully well with him.

I don't think your age is a problem at all, but hers may be, simply as a matter of biology. The word of caution I will offer is that if she sets her heart on having a child, but cannot, much unhappiness may ensue.

[stevewool]

if she sets her heart on having a child, but cannot, much unhappiness may ensue.

 

 

 

 

Wise words indeed , thankyou

[Methersgate]

One benefit of being in Britain is of course the medical services available if she does want to try.

[OnMyWay]

We have a 10 soon to be 11 year daughter by Abby's short lived previous marriage, and my thinking when we met was that was enough.  I didn't have any other children like so many of you.

 

Then when I was 57 last year, we had little Katy.  I can't imagine not having her now, and she makes every day fun!  Now I have to work harder to be healthy and be there for her when I am older.

 

There is one huge advantage to the kids when you have them when you are not working.  They get you full time and that is rare in this day and age.  In the U.S., most couples work full time and the young kids are raised by pre-schools, etc.  In PH, nannys are heavily used.  In both cases, who knows what garbage they are filling their heads with.

 

Case in point.  This morning Abby observed two nannys in the shade near our yard.  One of the little boys ran to the park across the street.  The nanny wanted him to come back but didn't want to go in the sun to get him.  So she started yelling at him that there were ghosts in the park and that he should come back right away or they would get him!  Our 10 year old was raised by nannys until she was 7 and I see evidence of some of the garbage they filled her with.  Especially one of the nannys that I thought was strange.  We don't have any help now but when we do get some in the future, their main work will be housework, not raising the kids.

 

Although many here have had kids and already raised them, don't rule out having a baby just because of that.  If you and your partner are healthy and can provide a good life for a baby, possibly a baby will add new excitement to your life, as Katy did for me.

 

I'm very proud of Katy.  One of the Filipino traditions I admire is the "mano po", and at 13 months she has already learned it!

 

https://plus.google.com/photos/109781670839665655301/albums/6143136407669900417?authkey=COH4rf-ljqL9OA

 

 

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Time to be the selfish one....

 

I was a single dad for 16 years in the US.  Got my kids when they were 5 & 8...  Love em and glad to have had them... but also glad they grew up and moved out ha ha.

 

I am 51, she is 26.  She says she does not want kids, which works out since I had a vasectomy (after we were married - and much discussion).  We have nieces and nephews visit us during school breaks and it is just enough to remind me how much I do not want kids!

 

Hope she does not change her mind later... but too late for me :)

 

I do know some guys in their 60's here that had kids and they say it is great.  I say good for them... but it ain't for me   :tiphat:

[Gerald Glatt]

Hope she does not change her mind later... but too late for me

 

 

I am sure if she would change her mind there are many volunteers to help :bonk:  

[bows00]

Now this is just my opinion on the main theme... screw the kid!  If he starts complaining about my age??!  The bottom line... am I providing for the family?  Am I grooming him the correct way to becoming a respectable human in adulthood?  Do I have the best intentions for him as he matures?  College?  Heck!  There is a lot we sacrifice too!  I would not hesitate to kick that ungrateful kid out of the house if he complained about my age....

 

There are so many advantages of being an older father... and the main thing is time!  We all learn from our experiences.  We all become wiser.  There are so many dumb mistakes I have made in my early 20' and 30's.  In retrospect, I know I will be a better father now in my my 50's.  

 

And it is all about respect... 

[Jollygoodfellow]

I am a member of another forum

 

This is where the first  problems begin.  :)

[Jollygoodfellow]

Hope she does not change her mind later... but too late for me

 

In today's world a vasectomy reversal is as easy as reversing out the drive. Never say never.  :grouphugg: