The Older Father

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davewe
Posted
Posted

As someone else mentioned many kids (or at least many kids in the West) complain about or flat out hate their fathers. I have a 19 and 15 year old, meaning that at 62 I was already an older father when I had them. 

 

My 15 year old is a handful and has a boatload of reasons for disliking me. I recently found that my being an older parent (so was her mother) is one of her many objections. I reminded her that my mother was 20 when I was born and died at 40, a full 7 years younger than I was when I had my daughter.

 

My wife and I are thinking about having a child. OK, I take that back; we're not thinking about it, we're actively working on it. As a Filipina from a very typically close Filipino family she makes it very clear what would happen if we have a child who is disrespectful to the parents (us). I laughed when she told me but quickly realized that she was dead serious.

 

While I recognize that there are many social problems in the Philippines, I have to say that the closeness of the families and the respect most kids have for their parents are strong positives. So I am getting excited by the possibilities.

 

I also agree with someone else who commented about raising kids in retirement. While my kids were young I worked 6 days/week, rushed everywhere, relied entirely on day care and schools. Since I am closing in on retirement I look forward to seeing the difference this time. Time will tell.

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Tukaram (Tim)
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My mom died when I was 16, she was in her early 40's.  No guarantees... 

 

But I am through with kids... being an uncle is ok.  In short doses...     :tiphat:

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  • 1 month later...
MikeSwede
Posted
Posted (edited)

This is a subject that has been haunting me lately. Not much bothers me generally, but I better get those speedos off quite soon if I am to go surfing with my clones in the future.

Or... go for the ready, kick-start option. With its own problems, clearly.

My self from a childhood of two moms and dads only have a great love for my dad (who is not my dad) while less so for my other dad (who is to blame for me being here).

Repeating history should be avoided, even if the original story was a happy one. We write our own, but I am really considering a fast-track daddy hood, with kids already half-way grown.

How this would be accepted in Phils I am not sure of, conservative as it seem to be.

Will the kids risc bullying from friends? Or its better to have a dad of any sorts, than none?

Love to have kids I am responsible for, and to.

Bothered mumblings...

Edited by MikeSwede
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i am bob
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Having the older child will be like anywhere else... It may work out for you or it may not... It all depends on the people involved!

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Gerald Glatt
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Love to have kids I am responsible for, and to.

 

 

If ready made you mean adopt then they are yours too.

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MikeSwede
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Posted (edited)

Love to have kids I am responsible for, and to.

If ready made you mean adopt then they are yours too.

If that arises, yes, I would. We never "chose" them anyway, do we? And still we love them.

Edited by MikeSwede
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