Age Doesn't Matter... Really???

[Jack Peterson]

Happy Birthday in advance Jack.....

 

 

:th_thanx:    

[Dave Hounddriver]

 We were out the other day and briefly met a couple whom I guess to be 70 and 30, and they were both super nice and seemed to be getting along very well, better than most foreigner-Filipina couples we meet.  It was nice to see, and for them it was obvious that "age doesn't matter."

 

You make some good points in your post. If I may just discuss this point for a moment.  That 70/30 couple will probably have close friendships with lots of other like minded couples.  For them and their peers, all they will see in their circle of friends is good relationships where most couples have a similar age gap to them.  They will not even notice there is an age gap until someone brings it up to them.

 

One thing that no one else has mentioned is the size gap.  I am 6'2 and 200 lb.  She is 4'8 and 70 pounds.  When we go for a walk we (she) hears up to a half dozen nasty comments a day about the foreigner with the big 'size' ripping open the small filipina.  We hear absolutely NO comments about age gap from the locals, we only hear those from visiting white tourists.  Ya know what, there are a lot of young white guys who are bigger than me who get the same comments made by the locals.  Funny how different cultures are prejudiced about different things.

Edited May 18, 2015 by Dave Hounddriver

[Jack Peterson]

 Funny how different cultures are prejudiced about different things.

One has to wonder if that is "Prejudice' or "Envy"  

 

JP :thumbsup:

[Dave Hounddriver]

My gf and I had a talk about this on our walk tonight and we realized that age matters to different degrees on an individual basis.  She was looking for a man aged 40 to 60. (She explained all the reasons and they were quite logical). She previously had a bf who was 20 and it did not work well for her.  She tried a fellow who was 71 and did not feel comfortable with that.  Her female friends have different age guidelines as to what floats their boat and as a man gets older his choices are going to diminish somewhat.  On the other hand, I was looking for a girl aged 20 to 40.  Other foreigners I know have a different range that they are comfortable with but I suspect we all have a range.

 

So since my gf was looking within a 20 year age range and so was I.  I was at the high end of her range and she was at the low end of mine so there is a 40 year gap.  So be it.

[Gratefuled]

I must be different but when I used  to see a very old man with a very young girl, I wondered first if she is his caretaker. If not, then maybe his adopted daughter. 

I've come to realize possibly why something like this occurs. Financial security is an escape from poverty. Money can buy happiness. 

 

"Money, Honey. If you wanna get along with me"  ( words to a song )

 

I feel that with my wife, neither  money, security nor a Green Card had anything to do with the love we share for each other. She is financially secure without me. She is well educated  from a well known university. She has real estate in her name and her own business ( Boarding House).

I'll stop otherwise I may be accused of boasting. I just wanted to put in my 2 cents. I'm very opinionated. To me "age does matter".

[Thomas]

However, there are also some Expats, who would not wish to have such a young GF/wife.

I don't want anyone with lower maturity level than what's normal at 25, because science say the brain aren't ready for long time relationships before that. 

I can still fit in my high school jeans

Perhaps that's why they don't run after you  :)    Many Filipinos think FAT mean rich, they become suprised when I tell it's more common the very fat Americans are the POOR Americans... 

So age matters, race matters, sterility matters, money matters

Yes. Some are gold diggers,

BUT many GOOD women value ecomonial SECURITY hgh  (=Not need to worry about affording the basic living costs.) 

[Thomas]

As for the age difference, as others have mentioned, it's nearly always about financial needs. The girl that has a decent career and is financially self-sufficient is highly unlikely to tolerate a big age difference.

I can tell you that ZERO of my wife's friends and colleagues (20's and 30's) are interested in meeting a 55+ foreigner, as the social stigma would be just too great. And most are not interested in foreigners at all. Why not? Because they don't need one.

Well. I believe in that group what OTHERS think is more important than the age difference   :mocking:  

I know many Filipinas - with much different economic level - who say things as: 

"Never more a Filipino."  "I want a foreigner AT LEAST 45 years old."

because they have been ABANDONDED by young Filipinos...

E g I don't know the financial level of a 26 year old law student and her parents, but her uncle is rich and in a rather high power position. She got grumpy when I told her we can't suit...    So at least there are exceptions   :)  

 

Although I believe they would prefer someone like me but some less old   :mocking:

[davewe]

That 70/30 couple will probably have close friendships with lots of other like minded couples.  For them and their peers, all they will see in their circle of friends is good relationships where most couples have a similar age gap to them.  They will not even notice there is an age gap until someone brings it up to them. 

 

 

 

I think this is a great point and let me elaborate. About 30 years ago I married an African American woman. I was a bit nervous about the consequences back then. I had already had some reactions which were surprisingly similar to people's reactions regarding age gaps: "What will your family and friends think?"; "what about children", "what could you have in common", etc.

 

As young newlyweds we would walk around the neighborhood hand in hand - and guess what. Everywhere we went we saw other mixed couples. We'd pass by and nod in recognition. Why, I wondered, had I not previously noticed how many black-white couples there were in my town. It had just never occurred to me.

 

So, now I am married to a Filipina much younger than me. Guess what? We must know 50 Fil-Am couples in our town with age gaps. Granted, all the age gaps aren't as large as ours, but they are all significant by American standards. I also know a few American couples with 30 year gaps, Why hadn't I noticed this before? Because I had no reason to. Humans are drawn to like minded people and until I married my wife, Fil-Am couples and age gap couples weren't like me - so I didn't much notice them.

 

We just got back from a vacation to the Philippines and nearly every Filipina-foreigner couple we met had significant age differences, many greater than ours.

 

It's out there and it's always been out there. Sometimes we choose not to notice.

[Dave Hounddriver]

:th_thbestpost:  I like that post #48.  Well said. 

[Steve & Myrlita]

I guess I went against the grain. Myrlita is almost 4 years older than me. I'm 57 this weekend and Myrlita is 61 in Sept.