How Do You Talk To Your Girl When She Has Limited English ?

[Tukaram (Tim)]

English is not the problem... sometimes she does does not listen ha ha

 

We were at the grocer and she was looking at the packs of precut veggies.  There was one with various things in it... including what looked like jackfruit.  So I asked her "is that jackfruit?"  She said "yes".  I then reminded her how much I hate jackfruit, and that I will cross the street to get away from the smell of a street vendor selling jackfruit....  Well she buys it anyway.  So I assume it is for her to eat.

 

Today while she was cooking pork for lunch I shut my office door to block the smell - and then found out she was only making one prep for lunch. Against my better judgement I took a taste.  Then reminded her of the whole conversation at the grocery store, and asked her what was for my lunch!  She almost seemed upset, and surprised, that I would not eat it ha ha.  And yes I told her to make me something else as this was not the first time this happened...   :tiphat:

[GregZ]

well as i say lone its more to it then just speaking it or even understanding it , shes seems to be more concerned with her proile updates and responding to her friends then chatting or spending quality time !! maybe it would be different if i was there but who knows ?? anyway were taking a break from each other and if she really wants me she will make the effort , im not chasing after anyone thanks for the advice all !!!

O-U-C [emoji106]

Best plan is what you are onto now. For success you will have to go the same direction together, not be chasing anyone.

My brother had the same situation as you OUC. Against his will, but according to advice from me and my Filipina wife (friend of the girl), he broke it off with her. In less than a week she found the motivation to make the relationship a priority and they are now on the path to an engagement. BOTH of them seem very happy now.

That was 2 months ago... We'll see what the future brings, but she went from distracted and emotionally reserved to attentive and sharing of both life and emotions.

My wife talked with her and I know that really helped her disposition and perspective on the relationship. I hope your lady has someone giving her good advise, be it from herself, family or friends.

Best of luck. You deserve someone you don't have to chase.????????

Edit: Age difference was mentioned by OUC in a post so I will mention that we are 53/23 and the couple I refer to is 56/22. Not a problem. ????

Edited June 10, 2015 by GregZ

[SNIXX]

I understand every guy has different priorities but being able to have a conversation consisting of nuance and variety was non-negotiable to me. I see woman who are at a restaurant with an expat and they are disengaged, barely talking and basically looking down at their cell phone. As far as a long term relationship- no way. The issue would be boredom.

[Thomas]

understand every guy has different priorities but being able to have a conversation consisting of nuance and variety was non-negotiable to me.

Then you better marry an American  :)

 

Many North Europeans have been FOOLED UNINTENTIONALY by Americans, because most North European businessmen MEAN what we say*, while many Americans say things ONLY as a courtecy...

(E g a Scandinavian company had been in a fair in London where many American companies had said they found the product very interesting. So after the fair the Scandinavian company made an expensive business trip to USA, travelling around meeting all the American companies, which had said they are "very interested". NO ONE were interested, so the whole travel over there were WASTED... ) 

Many North European companies EXPECT big differences when dealing with e g Middle East or Asian companies,

but are fooled by BELIEVING the American culture is same...

 

*It become many "funny" situations by missunderstandings concerning PRICE offers.  If a North European company - except second hand car dealers  :mocking:  -  say the price is 1000, then they mean the price is 1000 and have almost no space for haggling, because no haggling is expected (except perhaps add a cheap extra product or negotiate how FAST it need to be paid). 

If a Middle East business man is asked what the price is for that 1000 product, then they say "4000" EXPECTING the customer will haggle it down to around 1000, and find the North European stupid when not start haggling.  (Just say "to expensive" and walk away, or be found extra stupid if paying 4000 without trying to haggle anything, or believing it being a bargin if haggled it down to 3500  :hystery:     

When it's the opposite situation, the Middle East person being the customer and expect they will haggle the price at the price tag down much, then it can be hostile feeling instead when the North European don't haggle that much, because it's impossible from that asked price...   There are many such cultural crashs when immigrants go to Swedish shops.

[Jack Peterson]

There are many such cultural crashs when immigrants go to Swedish shops.

 

 

Not really sure where this has anything to do with the Topic of talking to your  GF with limited English but while we are here, I just love the idiots that say, "Make me an Offer"  :unsure:

 

JP :tiphat:

[Jack Peterson]

Now, back to the plot. 11 years together 7 married and still we talk very little outside the day to day problems of the House, Money and the terror of another evening of the Teenager Tantrums. Whilst it is nice to have the Peace and Quiet, when I want to do some things on line or just read it seems to have got worse since we got Live in help, they can talk for hours about nothing but and I just love those but's I have been keeping an eye on the family and even they, do not hold conversations between each other so I feel at times it is a Filipino female thing  :rolleyes: or maybe just a general Female thing, that we have always had with us. Just we maybe did not notice in an earlier life because the Silence before was in English  :hystery:

So don't Worry chaps, we are all in the same boat.  :)

 

JP :tiphat:   :thumbsup:

[Dave Hounddriver]

Then you better marry an American

 

I am sure you are joking but my gf and I are going over some English aptitude tests for her possible return to university.  She scores better than I do and I am sure than many high school graduates in Canada.  In my defense, the printing is small and my eyes are poor  :rolleyes:

Edited June 11, 2015 by Dave Hounddriver

[Methersgate]

Best plan is what you are onto now. For success you will have to go the same direction together, not be chasing anyone. My brother had the same situation as you OUC. Against his will, but according to advice from me and my Filipina wife (friend of the girl), he broke it off with her. In less than a week she found the motivation to make the relationship a priority and they are now on the path to an engagement. BOTH of them seem very happy now. That was 2 months ago... We'll see what the future brings, but she went from distracted and emotionally reserved to attentive and sharing of both life and emotions. My wife talked with her and I know that really helped her disposition and perspective on the relationship. I hope your lady has someone giving her good advise, be it from herself, family or friends. Best of luck. You deserve someone you don't have to chase. Edit: Age difference was mentioned by OUC in a post so I will mention that we are 53/23 and the couple I refer to is 56/22. Not a problem.

 

Now this I can relate to. The woman I love has fairly un-limited English when she chooses to let rip, (and never hesitates to learn a new word) but she did get very bored with repetitive conversations on the telephone. Very seriously bored.

 

I had got it wrong: I thought that I should show just how reliable and dependable I was as compared to the other men in her life (all Filipinos). What I had not understood of course was that I had turned into a comfortable and rather annoying item of mental furniture - it was the sense of the unexpected - indeed of danger - that had attracted her to them and indeed initially to me as that exotic creature - a middle class foreigner.  

 

I was advised by a Filipina friend (also a friend of hers) to let her chase me.

 

Good advice

[Gerald Glatt]

Then you better marry an American 

 

 

:thumbsup: Only if they wish a superior man.

[Vince Runza]

I shared this in the Culture section, too: