Filipinos Abroad. Coming On Holiday Or Returning Home! ( Finding It Hard To Adapt)

[Jack Peterson]

So I would say adaptation over time, with a certain percent that have it in their mind not to adapt and would prefer to live in a western country.

 

These are in the main the people I am coming across, as Mike said in his post, like some Foreigners coming here and wanting/Expecting it to be just so.( Like at Home)

Many are coming home and it is just not going to suit them but and I love the But's the types I am talking about are shouting and moaning Far more than any of us Foreigners do as we have had to Adapt.So must they if they are to continue a life of Peace.

As Dave said we have a new Breed of OFW's now and they ain't too pretty from what I am seeing. Actually, they are now experiencing some of the Things we endure while we live here, The outcome of that could be they may Understand us a little better which could be a good thing if they could just knock the chip off their Shoulder.

One instance here if I may, A returning OFW was turned down for Credit for a car ( No credit rating as he had been gone 8 years and No Tax paid in the PI nor SSS) Shouting at the Credit company but I am a Filipino! Fine said the manager, Act like one, The next guy in line that heard all this was amazed by this (He got his finance) {A Foreigner} So the moral here is : Every now and Then, where I sometimes say, We (The Foreigner) can be our own, Worst Enemy, it would appear that some of these look down their noses Returning Locals can be their own.[Worst Enemy]

I have the greatest respect for those that want to succeed and do but all should come back to earth and remember where they are coming back to. Family and Friends that maybe were not so lucky.

 

Jack :unsure:

[jpbago]

Family and Friends that maybe were not so lucky.

 

   Some have been given the luck ( to go to college and to work in USA or Canada as RN) but they don't want to adapt to the western living, the opposite of your title.

They don't want to work 9 to 5. They both quit college after 2 years, she because she doesn't like phlegm and he because he likes to drink and drive every day. They get money from her sister and from his aunt. They have sponged off of me and 2 other foreigners until their welcome no longer existed. She had a job offer from a call center but didn't like the hours. She would get tired. "They got all they need. They are in heaven."

 

the other jp

[scott h]

Why, it is bad enough with phones and internet with people always asking for money."

So many good points here, just to many to copy/paste to give credit to. I have a few thoughts also

 

About the above. I also have known many Fil/Ams in the states and when I ask and they refer to what JP references I ask, "when was the last time you were there?" "Oh 15 years ago". I try to tell them that things have changed so much for the better, internet, less frequent brown outs etc, they just don't believe me.

 

I also thing there is a real "cultural" reason that is not really open to us. What I mean is this: Most of us move here either for budgetary reasons in retirement (we cannot afford to maintain our home country life style on our pensions) or to start over with a lady. Or a combination of both. I know several retired Filipino couples (relatives naturally) who retired in the states, and basically move from child's house to child's house on a rotation basis. 3 months at the son's house 6 at a daughters, 3 at a nephews etc. etc. etc. That is just not in the modern western culture. We have no grown children but I ask those of our members that do. Would your adult children with families of their own really "welcome" you to move in? Would you really be happy being a permanent "guest"? We are just so ingrain with the culture of "MY PLACE".

 

Just another angle to the discussion.

[Jake]

:rolleyes:  Now I am not sure if this is just me but it is something I am beginning to notice more and more, Specially the longer I am here. In no way is it a moan or a "Have a go at anyone but......" I am noticing things that make me (to a degree) Understand a little more why  "OFW's and others (Married to a Foreigner and Living in another Country) Don't want to return Home.

 

I was at a 60th Birthday Party on Friday, I was Seated with the Lads on a Separate table from my Wife and was with her Cousin who lives in Canada. (6 months there & 6 months here) he tells me that His Home Country is just not what he wants anymore as he is not getting here what he expects and in many cases demands. ( Like all of us I guess)

Now, I have been involved with Filipinos for over 40+ years both Personally and in Employment circles and can see where he is Coming from. So is it just the No change (was there ever any) in the Philippines or is it the Western way that has engulfed the Minds of Some?

Take the Guy I wrote about 2 weeks ago who built the house with No Access. Using a Foreigners logic (or trying to) says, I will use that Unused Land to approach my House. His Cousin has Blocked off the only other Access now because of a dispute. Using words like go home False Foreigner. You Forget Who and What you are, We have our ways and you must come Home and restart your life with us. Don't come here and tell us this happens over there because it is not how things are here. 

 

I guess I would feel the same if I were to go back to the UK now after 20+ years away and expect things to be pretty much the same, of course, They are not and I would have to start Learning the Knowledge all over again.

I have a friend ( Well an Ex Work Colleague) Who is in a same sex marriage in the UK, So he can't come and Live here again he says as he will never be accepted by the Authorities ( Which is a must in his Profession CPA) So my Thoughts/Questions are this

Do Filipinos not want to come back Home to live because of the No change here but are too well ingrained in a Western Culture they are just not going to Fit in again?

 

It seems at times to me that the Average Filipino will always be a Filipino until They get that Whiff of the "Greener Grass" and become  a member of the aloof Brigade. This worries me a little, As a Brit I know What I am, Who I am and Where I came From But as I said, it is Something I am Noticing. Those that have had the Greener Grass experience can in many instances bring the Wonderful Filipino Culture into a little Turmoil.( Sometimes it is not that Wonderful)

 

As I previously said at the Start I am not having a bash, it is just Something I noticing more and more.

I smiled when our SIL said that she will come Home in 5 years from the US but was a little concerned that it might take her a long time to Adapt. Now, There it is in one hit Adapt. Could this also be the problem, She was saying it took some time to Adapt to the US and in 5 years time would she make it. Re-Adapt to the Philippines & it's way of Life.

Seems at times we (The Foreigner) are not the only ones that find it hard to Adapt.

 

OK all done, just my Monday Offering for some thoughts from out there.

 

Jack. :)

Warning -- RANT ALERT

 

I think just about every culture these days, material things and the status symbol makes the world go around.  I think the family values in the Philippines are increasingly becoming corroded with this mindset. Remorse or just being grateful is severely lacking.  Jealousy and grab mentality is the order of the day.  

 

For those of us returning balikbayans, we are sometimes mayabang (inflated ego) with our westernized attitude and $$ and often times look down on the local Filipinos, including the extended family members. What do you expect?  Many families now have either drunkards, gamblers, womanizers, drug addicts and many are lazy, except when they collect trophies with yet another baby added to the household or to the ever increasing abandoned street kids.  

 

But we will return for an extended visit, just to scope things out.

 

Rant over......... 

Edited January 11, 2016 by Jake

[jpbago]

Would your adult children with families of their own really "welcome" you to move in? Would you really be happy being a permanent "guest"? We are just so ingrain with the culture of "MY PLACE".

 

   Certainly not and we don't even think of it. My generation is independent. Most of us left home after grade 12 to start our own life. Jobs were plentiful and the money was good. But now, here and even in the west, children stay at home longer as they cannot make a living on their own. Some don't even try.

[Pangit]

 Apologies for the length of this post.

 

 

Interesting topic.

 

One that I have had some recent experience with.

 

Nearly 4 years ago my Father was diagnosed with a terminal illness. 

I had, at that point been living and working in various parts of Asia since 1996 with minimal 1 or 2 week visits back to Australia ever 2 - 4 years.

 

I was offered a job on a project that would require me to spend 24 months in an office in Perth before deployment back to Asia (Korea).

I took the job so I could spend time with my Dad.

 

Wow, after living in Asia for 16/17 years returning to Australia was one of the hardest times of my life, and a lesson to me that I never want to return there to live.

 

Firstly, I was just a normal person again. Something I hadn't experienced for a long time. I am naturally shy, so I dont really like being different as I am in Asia but as you folks know it is something you are always aware of.

 

Secondly, I understood the politics. It is hard to escape politics when it is all in the language of your mother tongue. And having no interest in whats is going on politically I found it to be very depressing.

 

Thirdly, the beggars. I know that sounds crazy but walking between my office and my apartment I would be accosted multiple times by organised, legal beggars. It really got me down. Everywhere I went it seemed somebody wanted money from me. RSPCA, Save The Children, Save The Whales, the list goes on. Often I would have to drop a few cents into the tin so I could get a stickers saying I had donated already just so the other beggars would leave me alone.

 

Fourthly, the cost of living. OMG unbelievable.

 

Fifth, TAX...no more to be said on that subject. 

 

I could go on. But my point is I can understand why OFWs or your average Philippino that has lived abroad for an extended period finding it hard to adapt.

I found it so hard that those 2 years of my life were perhaps the most miserable two years of my life. Living in Australia made me OPPRESSED. Capitalized for a reason.

I couldn't wait for my time to be due and I could get back to Asia, to the customs I had grown so used to. To the cultures I had grown so used to.

 

Reverse culture shock.

 

Whatever you want to call it, it is real. 

I love Asian society for all it's good things and even it's warts.

 

I will always, forever, be considered an outsider in Asia but I feel much more at home here than I will ever in my country of birth.

 

Not sure how relevant this post is to the OPs intention for this thread, but it is my experience allowing me to see through the eyes of somebody that perhaps this thread was written about.

[Jack Peterson]

Not sure how relevant this post is to the OPs intention for this thread, but it is my experience allowing me to see through the eyes of somebody that perhaps this thread was written about.

 

I Admire the post but as you may suspect, it was not what is seen or felt as a foreigner that was Mooted but the Thoughts, Actions and Reconciliation of a Filipino Coming home that I was alluring to.

However your points are good and I think we can all see how our own thoughts can become the Thoughts of the people of the Philippines that have had Western Experience :thumbsup:

 

Jack  :)

[chris49]

I will always, forever, be considered an outsider in Asia but I feel much more at home here than I will ever in my country of birth.  

 

I had an American accent or so I was told, from my high school (one year), then my college and working life in the USA. Then as a pure Aussie, when I eventually went home, I was treated as an American tourist. So yes, moving countries can present some unique difficulties.

 

By the direction of this topic, it seems those who come back after a whole working life away, have the most difficulty.

 

And as correctly pointed out by Pangit above, we might have difficulty going back home also. In my case I would, after so many years away.

[Pangit]

 

Not sure how relevant this post is to the OPs intention for this thread, but it is my experience allowing me to see through the eyes of somebody that perhaps this thread was written about.

 

I Admire the post but as you may suspect, it was not what is seen or felt as a foreigner that was Mooted but the Thoughts, Actions and Reconciliation of a Filipino Coming home that I was alluring to.

 

However your points are good and I think we can all see how our own thoughts can become the Thoughts of the people of the Philippines that have had Western Experience :thumbsup:

 

Jack  :)

 

 

Understood Jack. 

As I am not writer, I guess I was trying to point out that I can certainly empathize with those that have trouble adapting when coming home.  Race or Country of origin doesn't matter. 

[chris49]

Understood Jack. As I am not writer, I guess I was trying to point out that I can certainly empathize with those that have trouble adapting when coming home. Race or Country of origin doesn't matter.

 

 

Yes an excellent perspective on the topic. Although as Jack says "off topic", I think it's valid. It throws new light on the difficulty adapting, which is not unique to Filipino's.