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How Well Do You Trust Your Partner


Mike S

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Well Mike some people have good reason not to trust. Once bitten......

Currently been working with a bloke whom married a local girl, like most of us considerably younger. He thought all was going along just fine. As he received no pension he returns to Aussie works around 6 months of the year. They have a modest house paid for and two lovely kids. Not the dream relationship but stable, so he thought.

Returned recently, she had sold the house, forged signature cleaned out the P900K bank account. Now she and kids are staying with her at parents house.

Now maybe off topic but this example shows why some of us would perhaps never trust again.

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this example shows why some of us would perhaps never trust again

 

Trusting with reason (or what we could call verification) is an admirable quality.  Blind trust?  Well your story makes me think of my neighbor.  I've mentioned her before.  She has an 'online relationship' with her 'fiance' in the US while living with her filipino 'husband' next door to me.  I am sure this American has been fooled into trusting her 100% because the neighbors have been doing very expensive improvements to their house and she says it is all thanks to her online 'fiance'.  I wonder what will happen if he ever wants to come visit.  Shes says she gave a false address and uses a false Facebook for the relationship so all she has to do is delete her profile and he will never find her.  But he is surely trusting! (Yes I am a little jealous that I am not the kind of person who could go online and lie to people so they would send me money to build my house.  Honesty may be the best policy but the dishonest ones sure seem richer  :hystery:  )

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this example shows why some of us would perhaps never trust again

 

Trusting with reason (or what we could call verification) is an admirable quality.  Blind trust?  Well your story makes me think of my neighbor.  I've mentioned her before.  She has an 'online relationship' with her 'fiance' in the US while living with her filipino 'husband' next door to me.  I am sure this American has been fooled into trusting her 100% because the neighbors have been doing very expensive improvements to their house and she says it is all thanks to her online 'fiance'.  I wonder what will happen if he ever wants to come visit.  Shes says she gave a false address and uses a false Facebook for the relationship so all she has to do is delete her profile and he will never find her.  But he is surely trusting! (Yes I am a little jealous that I am not the kind of person who could go online and lie to people so they would send me money to build my house.  Honesty may be the best policy but the dishonest ones sure seem richer  :hystery:  )

 

 

Didn't I read a couple or so weeks ago somewhere that that a Filipina was arrested for exactly that kind of fraud? Too long ago and I have too many sources to try and find the article, sorry.

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I have too much relationship history to go 100%. I go 99% and take the other 1% fairly easy. Gina doesn't use her phone much, but it's there if I want to check it, which I don't. As for mine I leave it open so if she wants, like my FB, she may browse the messages. She sometimes picks up on my schedule like biking and that's good, I don't have to tell her every detail. My rule however, is if you do browse, you better handle everything you see without question. I'm not really that good at hiding things anyway.

 

Since we both leave the screen open, i might take a brief look at the content, we have also quite a few mutual friends....I might look if the screen is open. I see her looking at mine before she logs back in to hers. I have a few female contacts old and new, she got used to it and I haven't heard anything from her.

 

For you guys who go 100%? No checks and balances? I give Gina a weekly budget each week. I will follow up with her now and then to see how she's doing. She's trustworthy, but she entered into a few "deals" involving family and friends, usually with negative results.

 

She will take credit from eg a fish vendor or for her cosmetics, with no firm plan of how to pay, so we will discuss that. I discourage any credit, so it's better I keep track of it and will issue her a few reminders.

 

I have mentioned previously she gives me freedom so I like to reciprocate. I still like to have an idea where she is and some time parameters. She gives me more slack, but would still like to see me home at the right time.

Edited by chris49
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I have no choice. Married in the States over 20 years ago. So all she has to do is take a plane to the states and 50% (or more) is hers.

 

Honey..............can I have 32 pesos for a soda please??? :rolleyes: 

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Didn't I read a couple or so weeks ago somewhere that that a Filipina was arrested for exactly that kind of fraud?

 

It happens every day some we hear about others we just read about but I don't think we have ever had it happen to any member here. Yes there have been a couple of Bad ones but not like Bruce posted.

That's the beauty of this Forum, we are in the main Settled Responsible People. "A fool and his money are soon parted" Not so here because we are cautious and have thrown away those Rose coloured Glasses years ago. Those that say 100% know where they are, those are at a level below will get there I am sure. Mainly I would like to think because we all listen to each other and many problems can be averted. To close on this, I am still and will be 100% Sure. :)

 

That certainly is a good point, Jack...what would be the motivation to participate in a forum whereas we have our sig other/wife/husband here if they got smitten-then bitten. They would be so very disconnected with any forum that is positive based in many ways as this one.

As for me, my wife married me at 40....trust was her main reason to wait and she was prepared to be a spinster rather than getting burned. Transparency plays a big role in our relationship.

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I trust my Princess 100% we both have cell phones,she has an Apple Iphone6 and I have a Huawei P8

its me thats set up her Mobile as tech is not her thing ! I add her contacts etc.

We even have a our own bank accts simply for the reason is that we both have pensions from the UK

but the ATM pin nos are both the same !

both our pensions go towards living expenses and the repairs to the late mothers home which we have a builder

who comes at weekends to do repairs and building work for us.

We have no secrets regarding anything, we are married and we both agree whats hers is mine and whats mine is hers.

I have my cold drinks and chocolates and she has her flowers and Bananas.

If you cant trust your wife well ???

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