How Do You Discipline Your Children Here?

[Gratefuled]

I was reluctant at first to comment about how my wife disciplined her son. She would make him kneel down and face the wall for a long time. She would scold him loud as if that was going to help.

I could see that this was not working. First, he was too old to benefit from scolding. He could turn her off and ignore the scolding. Then, kneeling for long times was just cruel. It didn't work, either.

I started making rules. He was to speak English if I was present. It gave me a chance to make corrections.

Then, I started making time schedules. He was to leave the house for school at 6:30 am and not any later.

He was to go to bed at 9pm school nights and 10pm on weekends. This meant showered and lights out.

His punishment was to write sentences for any infraction or mis behavior. It is working, so far.

There are rewards for good conduct, I might add. He knows his limits and is responding. 

He is 15 years of age now. I don't know if this will work when he gets older but we are in control.

[robert k]

It depends on the relationship. If you don't have the kids respect it won't matter what you do. Something I would try would be to make them read aloud, something they probably won't like that will benefit them now, and later in life.

 

I knew someone who had their kids do pushups on the basis that if you are going to be stupid you are going to need to be strong

[sonjack2847]

It depends on the relationship. If you don't have the kids respect it won't matter what you do. Something I would try would be to make them read aloud, something they probably won't like that will benefit them now, and later in life.

 

I knew someone who had their kids do pushups on the basis that if you are going to be stupid you are going to need to be strong

Seems like he was a realist but one problem I can see is that for some kids physical workouts are not punishment actually they are the opposite.Then if it worked for him good all around.

[jpbago]

He is 15 years of age now.

 

Discipline starts shortly after birth. At the age of 15, it will be very difficult.

[sonjack2847]

I was reluctant at first to comment about how my wife disciplined her son. She would make him kneel down and face the wall for a long time. She would scold him loud as if that was going to help.

I could see that this was not working. First, he was too old to benefit from scolding. He could turn her off and ignore the scolding. Then, kneeling for long times was just cruel. It didn't work, either.

I started making rules. He was to speak English if I was present. It gave me a chance to make corrections.

Then, I started making time schedules. He was to leave the house for school at 6:30 am and not any later.

He was to go to bed at 9pm school nights and 10pm on weekends. This meant showered and lights out.

His punishment was to write sentences for any infraction or mis behavior. It is working, so far.

There are rewards for good conduct, I might add. He knows his limits and is responding. 

He is 15 years of age now. I don't know if this will work when he gets older but we are in control.

I know from experience that shouting and making people (kids) stand facing a wall does not work. I personally think that talking and reason work much better with kids.Good on you for taking the reigns as you say seems to be working.

[stevewool]

Cant really comment on this, but has it stopped me before NO,

I see the sister in law and bro in law and how they act , if the kids do something bad or answer back in there house hold, they seem to get treats , :1 (103):

[robert k]

 

It depends on the relationship. If you don't have the kids respect it won't matter what you do. Something I would try would be to make them read aloud, something they probably won't like that will benefit them now, and later in life.

 

I knew someone who had their kids do pushups on the basis that if you are going to be stupid you are going to need to be strong

Seems like he was a realist but one problem I can see is that for some kids physical workouts are not punishment actually they are the opposite.Then if it worked for him good all around.

 

We were both in the army at the time and might do 200 pushups at a time or 600-800 a day. People may like it at first but there is no limit to how many constitute the punishment. It could be pushups until I get tired of watching. The loss of an hours time if it takes that long to complete the punishment because you misbehaved could be considered incentive also.

 

I saw an interesting thing on television 40 years ago. The parents had rigged a bicycle generator to the television. If the kids wanted to watch TV they had to pedal the bike. It cut down on the amount of television they watched, gave them more exercise and probably lowered the family electric bill. Taught a different form of discipline also. That things have a cost even if they don't have a price tag.

[Gratefuled]

 

He is 15 years of age now.

 

Discipline starts shortly after birth. At the age of 15, it will be very difficult.

 

The boy (stepson) was 10 when I met him and 11 when we married. He had been taught respect at an early age but developed some bad habits when him and his mother were separated because of her work schedule. She was a full time RN and worked long hours. I had her retire last year to become a full time mother and full time wife. 

The boy is a good kid but had the habit of making friends with the wrong kids in the area. His bad associates do not come around anymore. He has fewer friends now but all good kids. I've met them. 

He likes basketball so I rigged up a hoop in the back where he and his friends can play. He is learning to play classical guitar and is a fast learner. 

We pray that he remains on the right track.

[Nephi]

So far our 4 girls control and discipline themselves pretty well most of the time. At the same time kids will be kids no matter what at times. Little things we let go usually unless there is a repeat or a combined issue.They are old enough now (12 to 16) that they want to do right and the biggest problem is time management with school assignments.

 

If we do have to chastise one of them for something more serious, we will show more love to that one soon afterwards to avoid resentment. If they make as good of choices and decisions when they are older as they seem to do now I'll be happy.   

[Julia]

IMHO shouting won't help much in disciplining our children. The louder our voice the more that they won't hear us. I think it is only when we speak softly to them that they will listen to us parents. Perfect timing is the key though when doing the heart to heart talk.A friend once told me that sometimes it is best to be more of a friend to our child and less of a parent at times...

Edited March 1, 2016 by Julia