My retirement here is Not what I expected

[Jack Peterson]

3 minutes ago, manofthecoldland said:

I'm quite content with how I live here now, but I had to shelve a lot of pre-conceived ideas. 

Based on what can I ask?

[mogo51]

On 3/5/2016 at 5:43 PM, Kuya John said:

Welcome to the club Man;

To keep my sanity, I now work on the philosophy...You can't take it with you when you go!

Yes but it is nice to have some whilst you are still here!

[manofthecoldland]

15 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

Based on what can I ask?

Based on life in North America.

Examples: coastal cruising in a small boat among the islands, road trips with places to see and some sort of touring infrastructure, libraries or at least well-stocked bookstores, easy access to hobby supplies, some sort of public areas for hiking etc. Many of these activities are doable here, but not under conditions and circumstances that appeal to me. Just call me spoiled, or getting old and lazy. Maybe its the heat and humidity, but my ambition and drive seems to be much lower in this climate. Gym exercise is my one exception.

[mogo51]

On 3/5/2016 at 5:43 PM, Kuya John said:

Welcome to the club Man;

To keep my sanity, I now work on the philosophy...You can't take it with you when you go!

Yes but it is nice to have some whilst you are still here!

 

I came to Asia initially due to a bad divorce and secondly  to try a new style of life.  I now know that I did not

do enough research or get to understand where I  was going and what to expect.  I tried a business here, bad decision and now am just retired.

It was not until I decided to settle with a great woman, that things started to fall into place.  Whilst I have moments that I question what I am doin here and get p..ssed off with trying to be understood, I could not go 

back to Australia.  When we move to Phils in 12 to 18  months, I believe the scales will tip in our direction somewhat, as my Filipino gf will be back in friendly territory.  She can do things she cannot do  here as she is also a farang.  I think we can have a decent retirment there, find some good expat company and enjoy.

[mogo51]

18 minutes ago, manofthecoldland said:

Based on life in North America.

Examples: coastal cruising in a small boat among the islands, road trips with places to see and some sort of touring infrastructure, libraries or at least well-stocked bookstores, easy access to hobby supplies, some sort of public areas for hiking etc. Many of these activities are doable here, but not under conditions and circumstances that appeal to me. Just call me spoiled, or getting old and lazy. Maybe its the heat and humidity, but my ambition and drive seems to be much lower in this climate. Gym exercise is my one exception.

One of the wonderful aspects of a Nth Luzon trip back 12 months ago, was a boat trip around 1000 Islands, so I can relate to what you are saying about the pleasures of sailing, even if it was a smelly diesel boat.

[Jack Peterson]

20 minutes ago, manofthecoldland said:

Based on life in North America.

Examples: coastal cruising in a small boat among the islands, road trips with places to see and some sort of touring infrastructure, libraries or at least well-stocked bookstores, easy access to hobby supplies, some sort of public areas for hiking etc. Many of these activities are doable here, but not under conditions and circumstances that appeal to me. Just call me spoiled, or getting old and lazy. Maybe its the heat and humidity, but my ambition and drive seems to be much lower in this climate. Gym exercise is my one exception.

This is the main reason is it not, that we urge all members especially new ones, to do that ever needed Homework. Holidays are Holidays Real Life is so Different. Everything I do is based on what I found out before I came to live Here Permanently and therefore have not been Disappointed on this score, other Disappointments are always there but I cope. We have to Cope or else what was it all For. It may sound an old Cliche but I left Home at Home and made a new Home. It is, what it is and to me, If I could not cope I would do the next best thing. Now as I sit here and think about that, I am not sure what that would be but then, I am not an Unhappy Bunny that things are just not the same as in My own Country or anywhere in the West BUT I knew that before I came.

That is the Difference to many

[mogo51]

On 3/5/2016 at 7:07 PM, Queenie O. said:

I thought when I moved here that I had visited, spent time and "done my homework" enough to make a smooth transition and landing here.  I underestimated how long it would take me to really feel comfortable, happy and content living permanently here. (about a year and a half)

At first everything seemed a whirlwind as we finished building and outfitting our house. Being busy gave me less time to really think too much about it things. After settling in though, I was really missing my close-knit family  and place in the States a lot, and I felt that I had somehow abandoned them. They seemed cooler and less interested in what we were now doing, which seemed to confirm my thoughts.

Adjusting to living out in a rural area after living my whole life in a small city was hard. Choices and freedoms that I had been used to were now more limited and that was kind of depressing. I felt that I wasn't the same person that I used to be confidence-wise, and I spent quite a bit of time "waiting for the shoe to drop" having fears and anxiety about new situations. I worried about not getting enough exercise, the heat, not having much contact with other foreigner friends being different as a woman and not "one of the guys", choices of foods that I'd be able to have, worries over the lack of structure in my days, or lack of "production" that I had had through work and routines that i'd always been used to. I thought that it would be easier to make local "good friends" and  close family ties,but sometimes the cultural differences and  lack of commonalities make that an on-going process.

Dealing with my husband's family and the language, local people, customs was not a problem for me.  I was often frustrated and angry though, that my husband was just basking in the feeling of being back in his old home, and with family and  that he had made an easy happy transition right away with no real issues.

Over time though, most these things have worked themselves out, or are at a manageable level for me. I think that almost a year ago, getting my own car and driving here helped me get my old confidence back.  Most of the things that bothered me don't bother me really  at all anymore, my family abroad has come around and are just glad that we can still be prettyclose and  stay in touch. Lack of structure? Fears? Lack of production? Food choices? Most all have been worked out over time at least up to the present:)

I'm comfortable with the person that I'm growing into now, and am quite confident, happy and content. Every day is a learning experience in some way here, we all know, and things can still sometimes be frustrating or maddening, but for the most part it's great now.  One thing I can say though, that in the time I have lived here I've never had any second thoughts about making the move. 

Queenie

I do not wish to sound condescending Queenie, but beside this being a good post, the thought came to my

mind that perhaps it is more difficult for you than it is for a male.  I would think your challenges would have

been higher up the scale.  As you infer, men can find a few other guys, go have a few beers and feel better in themselves.

It is pleasing to read viewpoints from another direction and think you are bringing some great information to the forum, thank you.

[Jack Peterson]

1 hour ago, manofthecoldland said:

Ever look back and wonder.... "What the hell was I thinking?

 Well for me and you can put any Country you like in the Box, When we look at it with Honesty and I make a Little Humour here, maybe we could all do with the Proverbial "T" Shirt 

[Jake]

1 hour ago, manofthecoldland said:

I think its fair to say that most people expected an improvement to their quality of life. An on-the-balance scale upgrade of what they would face if they were to retire in their home country. Lots of trade-offs, gains and losses either way, but the net result has to be positive.

   That either proves true, in which case they adapt and adjust, or false. In which case the pack up and leave, seeking to improve their lives elsewhere.

   The Law of Unintended Consequences comes into play for everyone in different ways, and later may tip the scale in unforseen ways.... sometimes in reverse...which is the point of the initial query. 

   Its impossible, with imperfect information, to know in advance, what factors about yourself or the situations you will find yourself in will prove to be critical, so its sometimes good to hear from others, what sort of 'unexpected' factors they overlooked that now seem important with hindsight.

   A lot of things people imagine themselves doing in retirement in their home countries prove more problematic here in unforseen and unanticipated ways. Replacement activities and alternatives often have to be found if you can't do what you expected to do.... hence...

"My retirement here is NOT what I expected."   This is not to be construed or read as a negative emotional exclamation, but rather a simple acknowledgement of unanicipated realities.

 Ever look back and wonder.... "What the hell was I thinking?

I'm quite content with how I live here now, but I had to shelve a lot of pre-conceived ideas. 

Triple LIKE sir!

[robert k]

4 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

 You know, the more I think about this and the more I read some good and even unusual answers.  Lets ask ourselves the Question, What DID we really expect from our Retirement here?

For me, Life is just how I imagined it, same S...t Daily as we still need Money and Ideas to Live but now I have time, to deal with these things.  But then, What would we Expect and get, if we all stayed at Home where (Well most) will say I could not afford to Retire at home. So again for me it has to be Tomorrow is another day.

Maybe we should all just be thankful we can get up in the morning and have our daily moan. I know I will. 

I expected it would be warm. Check.

I expected it would be a good place for me to ride a motorcycle. 50/50

I expected it would be a great place to drive around and see the country. Check

I expected my living expenses would be low. Check

I expected that I could drive to the Angels hamburger stand and get an Austrian sausage for a snack but evidently they turned to solid gold while my back was turned.

I figured I would meet a lady who would become my wife. This has not happened yet but it's early days yet.

I expected internet to be both better and worse, better where I lived and not as good as I actually found it in the middle of town. I got that one Bass akwards.

I expected that I could find someone who could work on a military jeep. I did not manage to do that, unless you count me, but eventually I would have found someone.

I expected it to rain more and it was fairly dry last year.

I did not expect to start a business, invest, build a house, live an extravagant lifestyle/live exactly as I did in the US. I think this is a large part of why I wasn't dissatisfied with the Philippines on the whole.

On the whole I'm willing to enjoy trying until I get it to 9/10 or I come to believe I never will.