Its up to you (A sad but true comedy)

[Bob Johnson-Perkins]

As I brew my early morning java and click in to full swing after of course coughing and spluttering. I came up with an idea for an article that would at least make old men like me spill coffee and laugh.

 

Well this article is all about a true story of a guy about 55-ish an American widower that was looking for a new wife of course a young one.

 

He had heard that many women in the Philippines prefer older husbands and ones that could support them so they could send money back to their aging parents. A friend told him about a dating website that was prominently Filipino related.

 

So this old guy, we will call him Alan Smith (that was not his name really) set up an account and set about looking for a beautiful young woman. It did not take long a young dusky maiden well schooled and also had a degree made friends. Well this 25 year old seemed to be the girl Alan was looking for and in no time he was on a plane to Manila. His new found love Mary Garcia (not her real name) met him at the air port, he had already booked an Hotel.

 

He asked Mary how do we get to my hotel is their a bus, taxi or can I hire a car? Mary stated “its up to you”. So he said “we will go by taxi”. Well to cut the story short and keep it brief. Alan had a wonderful time, met the girls family and friends and he fell deeply in love. So he asked her to marry him, she stated “Its up to you”, he said then you will. They had a beautiful wedding at a resort over 300 people attended mostly from Mary’s family. Alan had to go back to the USA to set up some contracts for his business, He was very impressed by his new wife of whom never disagreed with him and made him feel like a king. Before he went back he ensured Mary had a passport and applied for a Visa so she could join him back in the states.

 

He went back and even though he had been away business was good his staff had held the fort well. It took 14 months or so to for Mary to be granted a Visa, knowing Mary had never flown before Alan went to Manila to collect her and bring her back to the States. He was very pleased that Mary had not changed see still made him feel like a King with that cute “It’s up to you” retort.

 

He spent a week in Manila and they had a great time then they flew back to the states, Mary seemingly found it hard to take in the difference of culture but after a week she settled in. She met some Filipino girls in the local Mall and started to make friends with many others. One month had whizzed by Alan felt he could not have chosen a better wife

 

However when he came home from work one evening he found she had left him and took all her things. He was completely devastated he called her mobile number and asked her why she left him. She stated you’re too old for me and I found someone much younger. Alan furiously said “why did you do this to me”. She said in a clear loud humorous voice “It’s up to me now I am in America” and curtly cut Alan off.

Alan now lives in the Philippines has a wonderful wife and two kids he stated, clearly to me after relating his story. Never take your partner home to your homeland and always make sure “it’s up to you”

 

He did not meet his new partner on the internet but found her here in the Philippines and she had no plans to leave the country she loves. I don't blame her as I love it here too

[bows00]

Nice write up.  This is so typical.  But wasn't he married before returning to the states?  He is kind of lucky she didn't take it one step further by taking half of his assets.  Normally, men that jump into a marriage that quickly aren't thinking straight, and a prenuptial isn't even on their minds. 

[Nephi]

Yep it happens. I think that although this young lady was only looking for a one way ticket to anywhere, it was this man's fault as well. It seems that some of us spend less time and care in finding a wife than we do shopping for and buying hunting or camping equipment. A painful lesson but he got what he deserved. She will also one day probably.

[usa32]

Yes. I have heard this happens. There are a few things to probably make it less likely. One vet the person you plan on bringing back for several, several months.

Second. There can't be a 20-40 year old age difference and expect it to be successful in your homeland. You can probably get away with 10 maybe 15.

Always get a prenuptial if you have any assets.

I hear of a lot of successes as well.

But I agree if you are in the Philippines and you are 60, and she is 20, stay in the Philippines and enjoy, if it works for both of you.

If you plan on moving back to homeland, then try to find someone closer to your age.

 

 

 

[Hey Steve]

7 hours ago, Bob Johnson-Perkins said:

Alan now lives in the Philippines has a wonderful wife and two kids he stated, clearly to me after relating his story. Never take your partner home to your homeland and always make sure “it’s up to you”

He did not meet his new partner on the internet but found her here in the Philippines and she had no plans to leave the country she loves. I don't blame her as I love it here too...

 

I was curious since he married his first wife in the Philippines, how it was he was again able to marry a second time in the Philippines with the "no divorce" laws. I'm sure there's some avenue that would clear the way, but in particular, how did Mr. Smith work this out?

 

[robert k]

30 minutes ago, Hey Steve said:

 

Get divorced back in the states. Show up with divorce decree so you can get a brand new CNI wash and repeat.

[Hey Steve]

Yes Robert, I was thinking only if you marry in the US-but I guess a divorce decree from the US works regardless of where one was married...glad to hear he landed on his feet-storybook ending for sure

[mogo51]

2 hours ago, usa32 said:

Yes. I have heard this happens. There are a few things to probably make it less likely. One vet the person you plan on bringing back for several, several months.

Second. There can't be a 20-40 year old age difference and expect it to be successful in your homeland. You can probably get away with 10 maybe 15.

Always get a prenuptial if you have any assets.

I hear of a lot of successes as well.

But I agree if you are in the Philippines and you are 60, and she is 20, stay in the Philippines and enjoy, if it works for both of you.

If you plan on moving back to homeland, then try to find someone closer to your age.

 

 

 

Very good advice but mostly it will be ignored by  elderly men who come to Phils, indeed Asia generally with big egos, small pretzels and ignorant bliss!

[mogo51]

1 hour ago, Hey Steve said:

 

missed that one.

[Gratefuled]

3 hours ago, bows00 said:

Nice write up.  This is so typical.  But wasn't he married before returning to the states?  He is kind of lucky she didn't take it one step further by taking half of his assets.  Normally, men that jump into a marriage that quickly aren't thinking straight, and a prenuptial isn't even on their minds. 

Yes, he is lucky and yes, most men do not think of a prenuptual when getting married. They just ASSUME all is well and will continue that way. It's a gamble any way you look at it. Another reason not to rush to the alter. I believe in long engagements. I waited a year here.