How Much are you Influenced by Other Expats?

[Queenie O.]

Not too long ago I came upon this forum, and since then have really enjoyed the friendly banter and interesting sharing of ideas and information here. I've mentioned in the past that it has been harder for me as a woman to meet expats in person. I have only met a few while living here, but I'm okay with that. The ones that I've encountered-- although not all, have been quite down on the country and the Filipino people in general. This sometimes includes a Filipina spouse who has lived abroad and upon returning, now has a lot of disdain for her fellow Filipino compatriots.  Am I wrong to feel that spending time with people like this can be rather toxic and counter productive to me trying to make my new life here? How often do you folks meet people like that in social or public situations, and are you just able to take them with a grain of salt, or do they bring you down negatively too?  Granted, we all have our frustrations and pet peeves about certain aspects of living here at times, but it shouldn't color our whole living experience, happiness or contentment in the life we have made for ourselves I would think. What percentage of foreigner expats that you meet are acting negative all the time and seem truly unhappy or unsure of how to cope with their lives here?

Queenie

[mogo51]

Firstly Queenie, I think you bring a great deal to this forum and I can only imagine it is more difficult for you to 'meet' other expats.  I think there are regular get togethers there in Cebu?  Have you attended any of them?

But on the thrust of your post, I tend to agree with a little reservation.  I am guilty of 'whinging' here in Pattaya.  I mainly dislike the military rule  past couple of years.  Followed by 'frustrations' at trying to be understood and to get things done.

In 8 years it has not improved much, but am I to blame, as I have only learned very little Thai?  I have tried but it is a very difficult language to learn.

Like me, most other 'whingers' will not leave, especially if like me, they are economic residents.

As to your question would it affect my opinions, only if I let it and mostly not.

 

[expatuk2014]

Hi Queenie,

 

I tend to steer clear of other ex-pats mainly because of the 2 we met before who at first were very friendly

one who is married to a Filipina woman and he only spends 6 months a year here then goes back to the UK alone !!

he asked us for money several times.

And another guy wanted to rent the late Mothers home which is empty until September and he got annoyed that we said no !

I am not one for going out for the sake of drinking I drink at home so the wife knows !

And besides I married her to be with her and not go drinking with others

 

[Sander Martin]

I dont need OFWs to bring me down here. All i need to do is go to a government agency and enjoy all the "stoneage way of doing things" ?. Annoyes me alot how backwards and slow everything here is. Even the banks are retarded. Anne has a Metrobank account that was started in Manila, but they wont give her a certified bank statement in Iloilo... Its the same freaking bank, just a different branch... How freaking hard is it for them to print out the statement and stamp it. 

So meny things are retarded here and the Filipinos just shrug and say "thats how its done here".

Annes sister is a OFW worker and I actually enjoy talking to her because she understands most my frustrations here.

I dont go out looking for other expats here, but thats mostly because i have no idea on where they hang out in Iloilo.

[Queenie O.]

1 hour ago, mogo51 said:

In 8 years it has not improved much, but am I to blame, as I have only learned very little Thai?  I have tried but it is a very difficult language to learn.

Well Mogo,   I personally feel that even a limited desire and knowledge of the local language can open up a lot for the expat living here. That being said--I don't think that a lack of it will dictate how happy or content one will be living here. There are plenty of people who get by just fine with English, and language is not a factor for them as far as happiness or contentment.

[robert k]

Some people complain and complaining literally makes them happy. If someone like that stops complaining, you might check to see if they are ill, or they have already made the decision to leave and nothing else really matters after that, does it?

There are the people who think that moving to a different country will make them happy who I think might be better served by moving to a different part of their own country and see how that goes? Because if you were unhappy with where you were and you are unhappy now, there is only one sure thing in common, you.

It isn't what many people expect. Many people expected to keep the same standard of middle-upper middleclass lifestyle for less money when in fact for safe comfortable clean with amenities equal to first world standards, it probably cost them more to live than in their home country, and that is before relatives come around asking for "loans". People miss things that they didn't realize until they were gone. Some people had no plan what they would do beyond arrival and find a place to live and are probably going out of their minds.

I believe learning a language could help. I am working hard at my American and when I master that I may go on to English. I have dabbled with a little Tagalog and some Bisaya but I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.

[Queenie O.]

51 minutes ago, expatuk2014 said:

Hi Queenie,

 

I tend to steer clear of other ex-pats mainly because of the 2 we met before who at first were very friendly

one who is married to a Filipina woman and he only spends 6 months a year here then goes back to the UK alone !!

he asked us for money several times.

And another guy wanted to rent the late Mothers home which is empty until September and he got annoyed that we said no !

I am not one for going out for the sake of drinking I drink at home so the wife knows !

And besides I married her to be with her and not go drinking with others

 

I guess Tuk that it takes all kinds to make a world:)  Having someone befriend you with an ulterior motive or to eventually "put the touch on you" for money would be a drag I would think..

Edited June 2, 2016 by Queenie O.

[Queenie O.]

Well I think that there is surely a learning curve to living here, and it has taken on my part, introspection and "letting go", sometimes "getting off my high horse" and "picking my battles" patience wise in learning to adapt and be happy and have peace of mind long term. I know that everyone who plans to live here permanently will have to do that to some extent, or they will always be discontent. We know that having clarity is not always easy in any situation, but I have met people that have run away from a life that they were not happy with, and now almost appear to them to be living in a kind of war zone, where everyone and everything is conspiring to make their present life miserable. In reality we know the Filipino people are just involved in living their own lives, and cannot change to adapt to an expat's needs or desires.

[mogo51]

Hi Sander,

Banking here in Thailand, exactly the same, if you go to your bank outside your province, they chgarge 30bht to action your account.

[mogo51]

Yes Queenie, I am  hoping the 'understanding' will be better when we move full time to Phils but I know we are still going to be similar problems, just not as maeg. ny Just went to Delicatessan to get some ham, asked for 6 slices.

She got the ham and then put six rissoles into another bag - she could not understand I did not order them???

.