Visitors at the house-dialogue

[stevewool]

A little different this one boys and girls but bare with me,

When we was having the house built and looking over the plans with Emma and her dad, i was trying to show where walls was going and speaking English and knowing Ems dad was looking at me funny he understands me i may add,

Anyway i said to Ems i will tell you and then you can explain to your dad that way it may be better, anyway after going through the motions of swinging my arms and talking with my hands it was her turn to explain all to here dad,

My mouth opened and my jaw dropped, Emma spoke perfect English maybe a little slower but it was word for word with out the movements of her hands and arms i may add too, and then her dad replied in Tagalog,

Hang about Ems i said, you spoke in English , yes Steve but you talk to quick,

I do try to talk slower now but i hear  myself talking like a nutter

Edited June 5, 2016 by stevewool
spelling

[Nephi]

Onemore52, In our home countries we are taught kindness, courtesy, and consideration for others at an early age. Here, it is doubtful the meanings of those words (even in Tagalog) would be understood. For generations these things in most cases have not been taught to children until today, manners etc are something unknown to most locals.

Most all of the Filipino visitors we have are friends from my wife's childhood and the local language is spoken. If English were used I would have virtually nothing to talk to them about. There are no common points of reference or common experiences or even likes or hobbies etc. So in this case it's cool and I don't mind.

However if these same people or family members were in my home, sitting at the table and eating my food with me sitting there, you can bet I'd say something to all of them in a hurry. If they were to make a snide remark about using English gives them a "nosebleed." I'd tell them no problem-there is tissue in the CR but here we use English. If that didn't work it would be their last visit - period.

 

Nephi 

[skyskyper]

I would like to ask anybody here who is knowledgeable in a second language that was learned in school.

How does it feel talking in that second language? Can you express yourself naturally and effortlessly? How would you feel speaking that second language with so much struggle and effort while other people were watching you groping for words? And what about grammar... each time you were about to utter a sentence, you needed to think beforehand how to structure the sentence correctly. It's so scary!

I know I'm scared to open my mouth every time I'm in a group and "forced" to speak in English!

 

[chris49]

20 hours ago, Sander Martin said:

It is rude of them.

I have a similar experience here at my fiances home. At the dinner table they would speak tagalog and whenever we would go out to eat they would talk tagalog. They all speak really good english. They dont see the big deal about leaving me out of the conversation. I think its the norm here. Its their house, so i cant make the rules here. Your living in your house, so you can make the rules.

I have just started to take my dinner with me to my room (aircon) and I didn't go to the last eat out that the brother in law invited. They all asked why and i told them whats the point of me coming if your going to talk Tagalog 90% of the time anyways and im just left out in a corner talking to my fiance. They looked at me like im a drama queen. 

Disagree.

I was working in Saudi with some higher up people. They preferred Arabic, I had to catch up or miss the conversation, even if I missed most of it. I was working for them, I had no right to insist on them speaking English.

I was in Sri Lanka...Singhalese.

Now here in the Phils I am not going to discriminate by insisting they speak English. I also have to catch up, either in Tagalog or Ilocano. Even if I don't understand I follow along. And when they are talking about me, I pick up on it quickly.

Every Filipino doesn't speak conversational English, so if I insist on English, I would be excluding them.

[Sander Martin]

39 minutes ago, chris49 said:

Disagree.

I was working in Saudi with some higher up people. They preferred Arabic, I had to catch up or miss the conversation, even if I missed most of it. I was working for them, I had no right to insist on them speaking English.

I was in Sri Lanka...Singhalese.

Now here in the Phils I am not going to discriminate by insisting they speak English. I also have to catch up, either in Tagalog or Ilocano. Even if I don't understand I follow along. And when they are talking about me, I pick up on it quickly.

Every Filipino doesn't speak conversational English, so if I insist on English, I would be excluding them.

Im not trying to force anyone either. Its their choice if they want to include me into the conversation or not. If im left out of the conversation, then i dont see the point to join them for a meal, thats my choice. Might just be me and the fact that im from Europe. Most Europeans try to find a common language that suits the group the best.

PS im talking about people that i know are able to speak real good english.

In the case of the original poster: they came to he's house, drank he's beer and ate he's food. The least they could to is include the him into their conversation. I know they dont have to, but it would be nice. I wouldn't invite some1 back, that enjoyed my hospitality but ignored me. Id smile at them when they leave and thank them for coming, but that would be the last time id invite them over.

Edited June 5, 2016 by Sander Martin

[skyskyper]

Even though I have lived in Saudi Arabia for a number of years now, I haven't enrolled in any Arabic lessons. 

I learned to speak some Arabic through my everyday dealings with people here. The funny things is, I feel more confident speaking in Arabic than English. I don't have any qualms speaking Arabic though I know that my Arabic may not be correct at all :) 

[Jack Peterson]

You come to my House you speak English. You want to speak your language Go to the terrace.  You speak  your language at my table you will be translating all night. Why Bother, you all speak English or you would not be married to a Foreigner

Edited June 5, 2016 by Jack Peterson
because

[Sander Martin]

49 minutes ago, skyskyper said:

I would like to ask anybody here who is knowledgeable in a second language that was learned in school.

How does it feel talking in that second language? Can you express yourself naturally and effortlessly? How would you feel speaking that second language with so much struggle and effort while other people were watching you groping for words? And what about grammar... each time you were about to utter a sentence, you needed to think beforehand how to structure the sentence correctly. It's so scary!

I know I'm scared to open my mouth every time I'm in a group and "forced" to speak in English!

 

I can speak 4 languages.

Estonian as my native tongue and Finnish would be my second language because my stepdad was a Finn. Stepdad died 17 years ago and i havent had much practise. I still do quite ok. I met a Finnish traveler a few months ago in Kalibo Airport and had a long conversatsion with him in the airport/plane and in Kuala Lumpur hotel behind some pints of beer. He asked if i had lived in Finland and he was surprised when i said no and that the last time i really spoke this much Finnish was before my stepdad died 17 years ago.

English would be my third language. Studied it at school and mostly used english online before moving to NZ and Australia for a total of 3 year. I do fine and have no problem communicating in english. My grammar is abit rusty tho. Most the Aussis and Kiwis said that my english is really good. I feel that my english was good before i left for NZ, but it has improved alot during those 3 years just using it day to day. Your not going to grt better if you don't practice.

Russian would be my 4th language. I can speak, but i cant write. Learnt it for 6 years in school and had some Russian friends. Will speak it if needed, but not a fan (we still have some of those "people who freed us", that have been living in Estonia for 30-50 years and can barely speak two words of Estonian).

Edited June 5, 2016 by Sander Martin

[Dave Hounddriver]

7 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

You come to my House you speak English

Lets take this logic to its inevitable conclusion.  Is it your house or your wife's house?  So which language should we be speaking? 

[Jack Peterson]

Just now, Dave Hounddriver said:

 Is it your house or your wife's house?  So which language should we be speaking? 

You know the answer to this as you have been to my house