The older father

[stevewool]

Most of us have a younger wife or girlfriend and some of you may be planning a child, but what age would you think I am to old,

Would it also make a difference if you was living in your old country too, and also working and would it make a difference too if you was just on a state pension,

Just asking what your thoughts could be

[MikeSwede]

27 minutes ago, stevewool said:

Most of us have a younger wife or girlfriend and some of you may be planning a child, but what age would you think I am to old,

Would it also make a difference if you was living in your old country too, and also working and would it make a difference too if you was just on a state pension,

Just asking what your thoughts could be

I once drew my line at 50 to allow for the joy of being there as they enter adulthood.

Since then, I have seen too many really good elderly parents with young children, and they seem more at peace as a family. Less drama simply.

The right age? As long as you can and have a plan for their support while they grow up in the event of your absence. 80? 42!

[PaulB]

Age is only important if you are wine or cheese. I have four lovely children from my previous marriage and 5 Grandchildren but I believe it is more about being able to give your new, younger wife, the chance to be a mother as it is the most wonderful gift anyone can ever have.

At present we are doing lots of practice but next year we will go for broke!

Just my view.

Paul

Edited June 15, 2016 by PaulB

[robert k]

It might be that a retired dad would actually spend more time with his children than a working one. I know someone who married young, had 3 kids and then spent virtually all his time working so they could have the best he could give them. When one of his children was asked at school what their daddy likes to do, the answer was work, drink beer and sleep because it's all they had even known. The kids are in their mid to late 20's now and they don't really care to see him unless they need money. Basically their relationship is now...what it had always been. All he gave was money and now all they want from him is money. I'm sure everyone would like to be there to see their children grow up and be successful and happy but I think it's more about time actually spent with them than how many years.

[BrettGC]

Just be happy mate.  Don't let the people that judge get you down.  There are no rules.  

[davewe]

2 hours ago, stevewool said:

Most of us have a younger wife or girlfriend and some of you may be planning a child, but what age would you think I am to old,

Would it also make a difference if you was living in your old country too, and also working and would it make a difference too if you was just on a state pension,

Just asking what your thoughts could be

You're too old when you think you're too old. 

By today's standards my parents were young when they had me: 23 and 20. I still remember being 7 and asking my father to go outside and play ball with me. "I'm too old for that anymore," he said. He was my dad so of course I did think he must be pretty old and accepted his answer.  Of course by the time I was a teen and a bit more self-aware I realized how young he had been. I had my son at 43 and made sure I played ball with him (ineptly) whenever he wanted to. At 63 if Janet and I have a child I still feel confident that I can manage to throw a ball around.

That and money - what else is there :) Hell with modern technology I don't even have to get my old hands to write a check or my rattling brain to balance a checkbook.

 

[stevewool]

So boys what if you are 74 on a old age pension, little savings and living in England in a rented house, and this will be your first child.

[Old55]

46 minutes ago, stevewool said:

So boys what if you are 74 on a old age pension, little savings and living in England in a rented house, and this will be your first child.

To answer your question Steve I would think no. However if one were of good health and the mother healthy and making a fair wage perhaps not so crazy as seemed. Obviously there would be a downside as the fathers life expectancy is?

Having said all that I used to have very strong feelings an older man should not have children. Many of our members here have opened my eyes up it depends.

I am in my early sixties have a son in grade school one about to start ninth grade. If I were to pass today my family will be OK the boys will go to college and my wife will be comfortable that is responsibility as a good father and husband.

[Old55]

Let me now ask a question;

What if you are an older Expat living on old age pension paid out to you, little savings renting a house in the Provinces. You and your GF or wife love each very much she wants a child. What do you do?

[bows00]

5 hours ago, stevewool said:

Would it also make a difference if you was living in your old country too

SteveWool, it is just my opinion, but if I had a significantly younger Filipina as a wife/girlfriend, I wouldn't bring them back home to the states.  It's not as culturally accepted in the US.  In fact, IMHO, it is not even accepted in some areas of the Philippines either.