Why Bother Yourself With Internet Dating??

[Jake]

On 12/30/2016 at 9:54 PM, bows00 said:

However, if you use the internet dating sites as a means of entertainment, only to past the time before you make your move here, then so be it.  But you shouldn't rely on it as your sole source for meeting your significant other.  If you are really serious, MAKE THE MOVE.

I totally agree.  If using the social media to arrange for a rendezvous upon your first face to face visit, may I suggest choosing the top three potentials of becoming a meaningful relationship with you.  Of course at different times and venue.  

Determine their sincerity if they ever show up.  Determine their background (the 1st 48 hours) if they have boyfriends, husband or children.  I believe their prolonged eye contact towards you is a dead giveaway.  If they continue to be distracted in your presence, like using their cellphone, she is not the one.

Now, if she is the one.......how the hell do you politely check "her package"?  These days.......you never know, right?  

Respectfully Jake, being sarcastic about using internet dating sites.  

[Reboot]

1 hour ago, stevewool said:

I will stick to what I did say at the very beginning, internet dating works.

I met my wife on there plus I must admit I met a lot of nice ladies on there too.

Yes you have to weed out some of them to get to the best, but there is someone one on there for you and if it's to show a bit of flesh and you have to pay for it, well you are both adults I hope, so what's it got to do with anyone else.

It worked for my brother. He met his wife on there (no she isn't Filipina)...they are going on 5 years now.

And I met my wife on the internet too. Went twice to the Phils to visit her. She was a quality woman.

It's better every day.

But as you say, you have to use your head (no not that one) and sift carefully.

Edited September 21, 2017 by Reboot

[Paul_QLD]

Worked for me too and I now live happily ever after.

Also had  a heap of "fun" and met some great female friends along the way the first couple of years before becoming serious about finding "the one" ..... wife wont let me talk to them anymore, wonder why  .

[mogo51]

On 1/4/2017 at 12:18 AM, Snowy79 said:

In think there's two ways of looking at the dating sites and the success stories. I used them also to get a guide as a few of the women say they are on them just to make friends etc. I think it's very easy to find a person who could turn out to be a great wife and I think a lot of it is the Filipino perception of Foreigners. 

If you tried a Western dating site I could almost guarantee you'd struggle to find wife material in the first year or two as the majority aren't looking for long term relationships, yet if you try a Filipino dating site about 90% of foreigners would find what they class as wife material pretty quickly. I met up with and talked to a few women on line and almost everyone was looking for a foreign husband. Fortunately as I was visiting a few times I met up with a few. All of them ticked most of my boxes but common sense kicked in. 

I could have had my pick of young pretty women but being realistic they wanted a family with me and I'm at the stage in life where it's ME time. I've worked almost every day since I was 12 years old and brought four kids up, I don't want to be starting all that again. I want to travel and do things at the spur of the moment so I got ruthless with my choice of partner. I've narrowed it down to a 47yr old who has never been married and both parents are dead. She has cousins and sisters but has made it clear there is no way she will live near them as like me she's worked hard all her life to feed and clothe them so now it's her time. She even said to me if I want rug rats get a young girl and not her. 

I met her on-line so yes I'd like to think it's worth giving Internet dating a try. At least you can set your preferences and if you aren't blinded by lust you've a far greater chance of finding the right one on line than on the street. 

Good post Snowy and sounds like you are on a winner with this lady.  I wish you every success and happiness.  

We have identical views about children and marriage criteria.  Too old for children and not a child person anyway.. Whilst it might be great to wake up beside a young beauty, for me there is more to a relationship than that.  Not saying that some do find both attributes and good luck to them.  My wife is 52, has a University education and could not ask for a better partner.

She also has a sense of humour, which she needs to put up with me at times.

[mogo51]

8 hours ago, Jake said:

I totally agree.  If using the social media to arrange for a rendezvous upon your first face to face visit, may I suggest choosing the top three potentials of becoming a meaningful relationship with you.  Of course at different times and venue.  

Determine their sincerity if they ever show up.  Determine their background (the 1st 48 hours) if they have boyfriends, husband or children.  I believe their prolonged eye contact towards you is a dead giveaway.  If they continue to be distracted in your presence, like using their cellphone, she is not the one.

Now, if she is the one.......how the hell do you politely check "her package"?  These days.......you never know, right?  

Respectfully Jake, being sarcastic about using internet dating sites.  

Good one Jake, don't you like watching 'cat fights'.??

 

[Snowy79]

41 minutes ago, mogo51 said:

Good post Snowy and sounds like you are on a winner with this lady.  I wish you every success and happiness.  

We have identical views about children and marriage criteria.  Too old for children and not a child person anyway.. Whilst it might be great to wake up beside a young beauty, for me there is more to a relationship than that.  Not saying that some do find both attributes and good luck to them.  My wife is 52, has a University education and could not ask for a better partner.

She also has a sense of humour, which she needs to put up with me at times.

I wish I could say I got a winner but I'd be lying. I had to kick her to the kerb after a couple of months. On paper she ticked all the boxes but sadly like most things in life the description didn't quite match the goods.

I think the lucky ones who meet their lifetime partner over the web are either very fortunate or so desperate they'll put up with anything just so they're not lonely. As I said she ticked all the boxes on paper but once I started living with her and her guard slipped she was a pain in the butt. 

For a well educated women she did a great job of acting stupid. Add this to her jealousy and habit of asking you the same questions daily she was driving me up the wall. 

I'm now into another relationship and sadly this one I can see going pear shaped also. I've known her for over two years and she's a decent women but suffers from even worse jealousy than most. Add this to her love of sleeping which i hear is another common trait and lack of get up and go means I might have to move on. She can easily sleep 12 hrs per day, be jealous for 3 hrs and sulk another couple. 

Maybe I should just admit I'm not cut out for this dating malarkey. I'm too set in my ways and from a different culture with different expectations. 

[Paul_QLD]

They're are definitely difference in any relationship and adding a cultural difference only exasperates this - don't give up Snowy79, unless of course you decide this is best for you.

I said for many years I was not cut out for long term love .... after changing some of my expectations of want I want from a partner (and of myself as well) I am happy.

Don't forget, she is still a woman and they are great at annoying men (no offence intended towards the females board members, sure the feeling is mutual . )

[Snowy79]

39 minutes ago, Paul_QLD said:

They're are definitely difference in any relationship and adding a cultural difference only exasperates this - don't give up Snowy79, unless of course you decide this is best for you.

I said for many years I was not cut out for long term love .... after changing some of my expectations of want I want from a partner (and of myself as well) I am happy.

Don't forget, she is still a woman and they are great at annoying men (no offence intended towards the females board members, sure the feeling is mutual . )

I'll admit speaking to the more seasoned friends that I have compromise is the only solution if you want to have a live in relationship. My problem is I have three major hates. Jealousy, sulking and idleness. I'm generally a happy go lucky guy who loves life but I've always faced my challenges head on. If I have an issue I like to sort it out there and then and if I say I'm going to do something then I do it.

From my limited experience here challenges mean lets sleep on it, don't do anything about it but sulk instead or put it off for a few weeks even though you've said you'll do it. It'll probably explain all the dealings I've had with companies when they say they'll sort the problem or phone me back later in the day then they never do.

The more I think of it stand by for an update on my current partner later on as all my married friends tell me their wives do all of the above. 

Edited September 22, 2017 by Snowy79

[Jack Peterson]

40 minutes ago, Snowy79 said:

Maybe I should just admit I'm not cut out for this dating malarkey.

 Only you will know that Snowy but I would ask, are people giving too much too soon? Are we not Dating per se to see how things are before we move them in. Then on the Other Hand, Should we get the Ground rules sorted (better done before the mistake is made) I guess I am really lucky that I never used a dating Service as I met my Wife through Work. It seems many times that even after all the Research we chose one (or they choose us) then we stop the Research and never really get to know that person then  the truth outs and as we can see the problems is there. Before We even Started the House Build we were still sorting the wheat from the Chaff. I used the time before this to make sure I had done as much as I could to sort the Culture niggles out. Of Course none of us will get  it 100% right but you know that Grannies saying

"we don't know anyone until we live with them" so for me, better to get the Day to day problems out of the Way. As to the Jealous thing again for me, Spend time with her and her friends before the Big move in. The Jealous thing will raise it's head and you can deal before it is too late

 About all I can say on this as an Old Married man with many of these problems behind me.

 now having said all this I find that pinays' get bored very quickly if the day does not go all their way, Talking to quite a few of us (foreigners) That have a stable relationship it seems that those with Working/Studying Ladies fare far better. Even if it is a Little business to occupy minds & time it will stop to a degree this clingy thing that is another problem I have experienced. Do we really need to take them Everywhere we go? Again, I have Friends that have this problem and it can as far as I can see add to the Problem. I go out 1 day a week with Buddies and 1 day a month to have a meet with the Guys from here, Yes I get Texts and calls but in the main it is now just to reassure her/me that I am OK (Nice feeling)

So My friends we all have our own problems based on the same insecurity of our ladies so I will say again did we do enough to find the Fly marks on a lady of our Choice because it seems many do not look hard enough at that lady once she has moved in but then should we have done more before the event

 OK, OK, So I am a Lucky man But

 

Sermon Over 

 

[Snowy79]

I'm sure the high divorce rate is down to not setting the rules from day one or being honest with ourselves. For the inexperienced or not so Worldly wise people out there I'm sure the lure of an attractive younger partner clouds the judgment, once the novelty factor clears for some it's too late.

Just how many times do we read the same old story. I've been talking and face timing this girl for two years or in some cases two months and I'm coming over to meet her later in the year. We're getting married after 3 days then moving into the home that I've bought her?

For me maybe it's the way they throw themselves at me, someone I'd rate as a 4 out of 10 on the looks side and definitely slipping down the old age scale to take them too serious. Just last night I've had a guest from my apartment that I'm renting out come onto me. Three texts into asking where my apartment is situated I got the " Are you married question" followed by an only joking comment. Even after explaining I have a partner who is with me and I like she still kept trying her luck. Asking if we could meet up etc. As luck would have it my partner was sitting near me and even without seeing the messages went off on one of her moods. 

It carried on this morning. I'm putting her through a massage therapist course and she decided she never wanted to go this morning. I told her the tutor is expecting her and it's not nice to let people down just because you can't be bothered. Too late she said I've messaged her to say I might not be coming today. I told her that's fine with me and just to let her know I'll be judging her on her actions. She got out of bed showered, dressed and set off without as much as a goodbye. 30 mins later I got a message saying " What's it like to be ignored?" I've not replied lol.