living with a separated filipina woman - possible problems with ex

[Jollygoodfellow]

5 hours ago, peterfe said:

Of course there’s always a risk that someone he knows might happen to be living in the same place we choose to live in and recognise my girlfriend, but I think the chances of that happening are almost non-existent, if we’re in a completely different part of the country. Any advice or experiences from people in a similar situation?

There was a true documentary type video showing what happened when a foreigner met a separated woman and then got her pregnant. When the ex found out life was hell, running, jail for both at one time, chase with gun shots fired and eventually escaping to another country on a false passport. I wish I could remember the name of the video as it was very interesting.

Anyway not trying to frighten you but I think you will most likely be OK in a different part of the country but remember that its still adultery punishable by jail. 

https://jlp-law.com/blog/a-brief-discussion-on-infidelity-concubinage-adultery-and-bigamy/

[Jollygoodfellow]

3 minutes ago, frozenmystic28 said:

Uhmmmmm no.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-517821/British-man-facing-jail-adultery-Filipino-woman-asks-Why-wont-Foreign-Office-help-us.html

And that l think is the story made into a video that l mentioned in my post 

[Clermont]

The legal separation certificate means going to court to get one, big hassle. This does not automatically mean she can separate from her husband if he disagrees, the court decides the outcome and like one follower said it is a criminal offence adultery. Have you tried talking to him in a public place, like a lawyers office and having some big bodied relations of hers handy at the time, he might be interested in a years supply of Jolly Bee seeing bribery is illegal: to agree to the separation certificate. Pay back in the Philippines can be permanent in some areas. This is not meant to scare you, but to tell you the pitfalls, good luck.

[Dave Hounddriver]

I shall share a story.

There was this Canadian guy who wanted to have an affair with a married woman.  He was thoroughly warned by anyone that he mentioned it to that this was tantamount to signing his death warrant because, even though her husband had a mistress and did not want her, her husband was still her husband and had let it be know that he would kill anyone who even flirted with her.

Due to the husband's position as part of the governor's security force, this was not something to be taken lightly.  But our hard headed (both heads) Canadian guy and the very lustful lady would meet in pitch black areas where she would sneak into the back seat of his car and go to secret spots where no one could see them to fulfill their passion.

Lust and love are both foolish emotions that get people into huge amounts of trouble.  The Canadian guy got lucky (pun intended) and did not get shot or beat up.  Whether the opening poster gets so lucky will depend largely on the ladies legal husband.  If that husband is in a position to "lose face" if people know "his wife" is with another man then things can get ugly.  But the Canadian guy did not listen either so maybe the opening poster will also get lucky.

[Gratefuled]

8 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

If that husband is in a position to "lose face" if people know "his wife" is with another man then things can get ugly.  

Reminds me of a taxi driver found in his taxi with his throat cut, here in Davao City. At first, I thought someone had robbed him but another taxi driver informed me that the driver was messing around with a married woman. The husband found out someway. Maybe wife confessed. Maybe someone snitched on the taxi driver. 

The taxi driver did not know he had picked up the woman's husband. He just thought it was another fare. What tipped the police was that taxi driver had all his money on him when he died. The investigation went from there. Husband confessed when arrested.

[Clermont]

Don't forget, their all cousins, some many times removed and not all from the same province. 

[sonjack2847]

5 hours ago, mogo51 said:

More information on this Kev?

All I know is what other people have said and it seems although there is no divorce you can get a legal separation,As I wrote something to be looked into.If he does this he only has her ex to worry about.A lawyer should know.

[Snowy79]

This is the documentary that's worth watching: 

 

I was just watching the Filipino news today and as far as I could make out there's no legal separation only annulment. It's currently going through congress at the moment to try and introduce a legal separation and also same sex relationships and matrimonial property laws. The separation bill is being petitioned by a congress man who is married but living with another women. Although it's illegal I'm sure the fact that he is a congressman means he's above the law. The senior Catholic Bishop was condemning him and said the church will oppose any change in law, at least it's now getting talked about in government circles. 

As for whether I'd get involved in such a relationship all I'll say is I have a friend  who was in the same boat. The woman was married and has a daughter but her husband left her at the birth and is now shacked up with another Filipino who is also married. They are both overseas foreign workers. This friend's partner assured him she knows a few similar relationships although in those cases it was another Filipino and not a foreigner. The likely outcome of this relationship was going to result in the foreigner paying for the partner to get divorced and her ex husbands new partners divorce to be also paid by the foreigner.

I don't know anything about your relationship but from general knowledge if you've known her for a long time and spent a few months in her company getting to know her friends and family, chances are the ex husband isn't too bothered but that's not to say someone won't convince him to blackmail you.

If it's some girl who you've met over the web and spent a few months or even years chatting online, maybe met her for a week or two miles away from home I'd be wary. I don't mean to be harsh but I've had a few relationships that started online and in all those relationships they were lovely. After living a month or two with them the mask slips and you suddenly realise the culture difference and annoying habits, maybe even a few more potential new husbands in the woodwork.

Look on it as buying a property over here ( condos excluded ). When you first start looking it's straight forward with no issues, as you start doing your due diligence problems start appearing. After one year of researching you'd probably never buy a property.

If you've not lived in the Philippines much all I can say is you will be chatted up by a different girl every other day and even some of their friends. Women that probably wouldn't look at you back home. This is a very poor country and foreigners are looked on as security with no more financial worries. Sure a lot of the women are attracted by the skin colour and eyes. I've a few Filipino friends who have openly told me they will only have a foreign boyfriend. They've been blinded by the TV shows that paint us all in as lovely, family orientated people with the added bonus of having money.

If you've gone native over here and slept in a locals home you'll understand. Have a local boyfriend and consign yourself to a native shack or basic brick building with hand made furniture and if you're lucky a fan and a tv with a few dogs and cockerels or live in a modern home with a flat screen tv, air con and all the modern appliances. Regular trips out and maybe a car and holidays.

There's not a lot of loyalty among the local women. If you take your partner and go to the far side of the Philippines and a female finds out you are living with a married women they will do everything they can to break your relationship up to get you back on the market. In short tread carefully and before doing anything stupid ensure it's love and now lust. Good luck.

Edited July 12, 2017 by Snowy79
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[mogo51]

2 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

All I know is what other people have said and it seems although there is no divorce you can get a legal separation,As I wrote something to be looked into.If he does this he only has her ex to worry about.A lawyer should know.

Thanks Kev.

[peterfe]

Many thanks to everyone for your helpful replies, especially Snowy79. I am seriously considering my options. One possibility is to have regular holidays with my girlfriend abroad, but in between let her stay close to her family and friends (her husband lives a long way away now), and during that time not meet too often and certainly not spend the night together. Presumably we couldn't be arrested for adultery under Filipino law if it took place abroad. But of course the husband might still want to slit my throat when we came back...