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jpbago

American and German died in Negros

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48 minutes ago, bigpearl said:

WHY?

Some people are pretty well balanced, emotionally, and some of us have what they used to call manic/depressive disorder.  If its a mild case you learn to live with it.  In extreme cases you need a shrink.  (I think they call it bipolar disorder these days but I'm old school.)

People like that are loads of fun to be around when they are happy but get incredibly depressed when negativity invades their world.  You learn to deal with it by avoiding stressful situations and staying calm, or you deal with it by taking certain drugs, or you suffer some extremely difficult (sometimes suicidal) bouts of depression.  I don't believe the drugs work all that well and one cannot always control the negativity that tends to invade our world.  Another unfortunate effect is that bipolars are drawn to other bipolars in a co-dependent type of relationship.  The effects of that often lead to attempts of suicide and some people succeed at it.   Fortunately many/most get rescued or talked out of it by good friends or family members.

Imagine the predicament of someone who has come here with a disorder like that, has no friends or family here, and gets cleaned out by a scammer.  I image that leads to a large number of foreigner suicide attempts here.  We only read of the few "successful" suicides in the news.  Yes, some are murdered, but I feel confident that quite a few just become unbalanced and take their own life.

Just my personal opinion based on personal experiences, observations, professional consultations, medications, and research.  Others will view it differently.  Some will never understand it because they don't experience severe mood swings.

 

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6 hours ago, bastonjock said:

My best mate from my hometown ,hung himself ,it leaves a pain behind that takes time to heal, you ask yourself questions afterwards ,lots of "whys" , i miss the guy he was my bestest buddy ,im still in touch with his familly after 15 years. The poor sods that take their own lifes leave a lot of guilt and sorrow behind

6 hours ago, bastonjock said:

My best mate from my hometown ,hung himself ,it leaves a pain behind that takes time to heal, you ask yourself questions afterwards ,lots of "whys" , i miss the guy he was my bestest buddy ,im still in touch with his familly after 15 years. The poor sods that take their own lifes leave a lot of guilt and sorrow behind

Not my best mate but a good friend hanged himself with a chain 18 years ago. His flat mate found him, he left a note that only said 'woke up, had a spliff, went back to sleep'. On the face of it he was happy and content with his life, just goes to show that the one's that are serious about it can hide it well. He obviously had some serious issues to want to take his own life and we can only hope he has attained the peace he was craving but it is still a selfish act. The suffering that family and friends have to contend with is without end.

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18 minutes ago, virginprune said:

it is still a selfish act

I could not think of it that way.  I believe it is a physical or mental or possibly genetic disorder that is not thoroughly understood.  It may seem selfish to a "normal" person but to someone with clinical depression, suicide is often the only conclusion they can come to.  Its a short circuit of the brain that tells them there is no other choice.

Now the ones who threaten suicide looking for drama and attention, yes I agree its selfish.  But not the ones who just do it and you don't know until its done.

EDIT:  However, having said that the ones threatening it are selfish, I would not want to discourage anyone from seeking help from whatever sources are available, selfish or not.  If a friend of mine was telling me he feels suicidal I would go sit with him (if possible) until he gets through it.

Edited by Dave Hounddriver
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36 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Some people are pretty well balanced, emotionally, and some of us have what they used to call manic/depressive disorder.  If its a mild case you learn to live with it.  In extreme cases you need a shrink.  (I think they call it bipolar disorder these days but I'm old school.)

People like that are loads of fun to be around when they are happy but get incredibly depressed when negativity invades their world.  You learn to deal with it by avoiding stressful situations and staying calm, or you deal with it by taking certain drugs, or you suffer some extremely difficult (sometimes suicidal) bouts of depression.  I don't believe the drugs work all that well and one cannot always control the negativity that tends to invade our world.  Another unfortunate effect is that bipolars are drawn to other bipolars in a co-dependent type of relationship.  The effects of that often lead to attempts of suicide and some people succeed at it.   Fortunately many/most get rescued or talked out of it by good friends or family members.

Imagine the predicament of someone who has come here with a disorder like that, has no friends or family here, and gets cleaned out by a scammer.  I image that leads to a large number of foreigner suicide attempts here.  We only read of the few "successful" suicides in the news.  Yes, some are murdered, but I feel confident that quite a few just become unbalanced and take their own life.

Just my personal opinion based on personal experiences, observations, professional consultations, medications, and research.  Others will view it differently.  Some will never understand it because they don't experience severe mood swings.

 

Dave/readers, I am not a shrink but I do have 2 Bipolar friends that always talk the talk on their lows but they are still here, some 30 years later. (attention) I and I am sure other readers through their life have come across a friend or associate that for no inexplicable reason tops themselves. Bye. whether by mistake or a low in their lives it happens. Bravado or stupidity with no answers for those they leave behind and the turmoil and uncertainty that is created for family and friends, picking up the pieces. As another astute reader mentioned (I think) (getting older) Manic depressives, Bipolar etc are already diagnosed and are very aware and play the game with their family and friends.

It's the out of the blue, totally unexpected scenarios that no one sees coming, stable work mates, friends etc. Off topic a little but physiological disorders tend to be known and treated accordingly, in some countries, most here are from other countries and have meds. 

I personally have had thoughts of doing myself in but I am gutless and it's easier to fight/work through life and make a better future for family and friends. BTW that was over 40 years ago. (those thoughts) Just another rant but from what I see and learn.

Cheers, Steve.

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5 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

I could not think of it that way.  I believe it is a physical or mental or possibly genetic disorder that is not thoroughly understood.  It may seem selfish to a "normal" person but to someone with clinical depression, suicide is often the only conclusion they can come to.  Its a short circuit of the brain that tells them there is no other choice.

Now the ones who threaten suicide looking for drama and attention, yes I agree its selfish.  But not the ones who just do it and you don't know until its done.

EDIT:  However, having said that the ones threatening it are selfish, I would not want to discourage anyone from seeking help from whatever sources are available, selfish or not.  If a friend of mine was telling me he feels suicidal I would go sit with him (if possible) until he gets through it.

Having worked as a psychiatric nurse for a number of years I was knowledgable of many suicides by clients of the service. Those people did have serious mental health issues, suicide was most prevalent with people suffering from bi-polar disorders. I would agree with you considering those persons. However, people who commit suicide because their partner has left them, or they have lost all their money and such like have committed a selfish act, in my opinion. In my friends case, he did not suffer from depression or any other diagnosed mental disorder. He left his flat mate, his best friend, to find him. That in itself is a selfish act.

People who threaten suicide are generally just attention seekers who have no intention of carrying it out, in my experience.

I may come across as harsh but I'm not really

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6 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Some people are pretty well balanced, emotionally, and some of us have what they used to call manic/depressive disorder.  If its a mild case you learn to live with it.  In extreme cases you need a shrink.  (I think they call it bipolar disorder these days but I'm old school.)

People like that are loads of fun to be around when they are happy but get incredibly depressed when negativity invades their world.  You learn to deal with it by avoiding stressful situations and staying calm, or you deal with it by taking certain drugs, or you suffer some extremely difficult (sometimes suicidal) bouts of depression.  I don't believe the drugs work all that well and one cannot always control the negativity that tends to invade our world.  Another unfortunate effect is that bipolars are drawn to other bipolars in a co-dependent type of relationship.  The effects of that often lead to attempts of suicide and some people succeed at it.   Fortunately many/most get rescued or talked out of it by good friends or family members.

Imagine the predicament of someone who has come here with a disorder like that, has no friends or family here, and gets cleaned out by a scammer.  I image that leads to a large number of foreigner suicide attempts here.  We only read of the few "successful" suicides in the news.  Yes, some are murdered, but I feel confident that quite a few just become unbalanced and take their own life.

Just my personal opinion based on personal experiences, observations, professional consultations, medications, and research.  Others will view it differently.  Some will never understand it because they don't experience severe mood swings.

 

I have three kids (that i know of) my eldest two are getting on with their lifes ,both have done their degrees and both are in management ,the youngest who is the brightest , sufferers from depression . As a parent its a worry ,ive gone through sleepless nights with it wondering if she will come out of her room in the morning or if id go in and find her dead.

i get to the point where i think that she is leveling out then splat , she hits a downer again , as parents her mother and i support her as much as we can , we keep her financially supported . She was a lovely child then it all changed ,after she had her periods ,then the roller coaster ride started ,believe me guys its a tough one to deal with

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