Raising a half-American child in the Philippines

[Mark Berkowitz]

I appreciate all of your comments and suggestions.

 

I can see that there are advantages (as well as disadvantages) to raising a child in the Philippines as well as raising a child in the USA.

 

One of the advantages of staying in the Philippines is that my son will learn the value of family, which is a value that is quickly losing its importance in the West.

 

However, if I decide to raise my son in the USA and attempt getting a US Passport (instead of a Visa) for my son, I’ll have no problem with taking a DNA test.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[OnMyWay]

1 hour ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

USA government seldom accepts at face value that a 63 year old American is the biological father without a DNA test.

I disagree Dave.  Where did you get those cynical stats?

Certainly in cases where the child bears no resemblance to the father there is a higher chance of a DNA test request.  Or when the mother tries to claim paternity and U.S. citizenship on her own.  Or, at the interview, your partner comes off as a bar-girl who might of had multiple partners.  Etc., etc.  Another situation I know of is when a Filipino American applies for CRBA, there might be a bit more scrutiny.  We have a lot of ex-Navy Fil-Ams here, now retired.  We know one, in his 60's, who has 3 small kids.  He gets SS for all of them, in addition to his SS and pensions.  They are living well!

Based on getting two CRBAs at outreaches and my observations there, most of the couples with a foreigner daddy were approved at the outreach.  (Final approval is done later but they tell you there, everything is "good to go".)  You can sit there and watch the other applicants.  With most the baby has some of the daddy's physical characteristics.  Some of them have older kids that played with my kids, and you can see all of these kids have foreigner blood.  When they leave, you can see on their faces if they were approved or not.

 

[OnMyWay]

1 hour ago, CoffeeRulzMe said:

99% joke?   could be more like 70% joke.  I read somewhere, lone ago, up to 30% of fathers are raising someone elses kid - the whole time thinking it's theirs.  Seems like a rather high percentage to me. I would have guessed 10 - 20%.

 

That does not have direct relevance to Dave's observation about DNA tests.  "Daddys" who are not sure if the kid is theirs are far less likely to apply for a CRBA.

[Gator]

16 hours ago, Mark Berkowitz said:

I am 63 years old and I’m the father of a 9 month old baby boy. This is my second marriage and .......SNIP..........

 

However, here in the Philippines, my wife and I have the support of her extended family with caring for our baby boy.

 

Looks like we're in the same boat, lol. Although I'm a few years younger I am also now the father of an 8 month old boy. 

Dual citizenship is a given, my SO and I plan to take care of that on my next visit (September). 

Since I've already planned for several years to retire in the Phils, I intend to raise him (and our 7 year old daughter) there. With my projected retirement income we can have a much better life there as opposed to the USA. That includes good schools for the kids. 

As you mentioned, having the extended Filipino family for support and care is something I too view as a bonus. It's something that we would not have in the USA as I really don't have much family left; at least not any that would be willing to help raise and care for children. 

[OnMyWay]

16 hours ago, Mark Berkowitz said:

Raising a half-American child in the Philippines

I am 63 years old and I’m the father of a 9 month old baby boy. This is my second marriage and I never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d be a daddy again at my age.

I must say that raising a baby is much easier for me this time around. I have grown children in the USA (from my first marriage) and caring for them as infants was an exhausting experience. However, here in the Philippines, my wife and I have the support of her extended family with caring for our baby boy.

 

I’d be interested in knowing what other parents in a similar situation have done. What kind of future can I realistically expect for my son if I raise him in the Philippines?... or should I plan on moving back to the USA because my son will have a better future there?

 

BTW: I just learned from another topic that I can get a US Passport for my young child.

Mark, apply for your son's CRBA and passport as soon as possible.  It probably gets harder as he gets older.  Follow the instructions to the letter and it is unlikely you will need a DNA test.

In our case, we got the kids their PH passports first, and followed with US CRBA / passports right after.  Regardless of if you move them to the U.S. or not, the U.S. passport opens doors for their future.

If you decide to raise them in PH, as we did, you can still travel to the U.S.  We just spent a month there.

[stevewool]

Some very good answers in this thread.

I am so glad I do not have to think of any of the thoughts you are going through and others who have children at a later age in life, schooling fees where is best for them to be brought up and so on.

It's good to see that people take there responsibilities of the children's and partners future, you do hear and read lots of bad stuff that can happen, well done to you all.

[Mark Berkowitz]

 

6 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

Mark, apply for your son's CRBA and passport as soon as possible.  It probably gets harder as he gets older.  Follow the instructions to the letter and it is unlikely you will need a DNA test.

In our case, we got the kids their PH passports first, and followed with US CRBA / passports right after.  Regardless of if you move them to the U.S. or not, the U.S. passport opens doors for their future.

If you decide to raise them in PH, as we did, you can still travel to the U.S.  We just spent a month there.

Thanks OnMyWay!

I'm happy to hear that getting my son's CRBA and U.S. Passport will be easier than [name deleted] said it would be. I plan on filing my paperwork ASAP.

[Dave Hounddriver]

10 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

I disagree Dave.  Where did you get those cynical stats?

 

3 hours ago, Mark Berkowitz said:

I'm happy to hear that getting my son's CRBA and U.S. Passport will be easier than [name deleted] said it would be

Please read my thread on the exact same subject and you will see how many members said a DNA is required.  If you can get a CRBA without a DNA that is fine but for crying out loud, OnMyWay, you contributed to this thread I will link to so you know darn well where my cynicism is coming from:

 

 

[Mr-T]

Well in my case our child was borne in the U.S. I also was age 62 at that time. Both my child and mom are dual citizens. We moved here in 2009. Child have all her schooling here and is doing quite well. She just started 7th. grade or junior high . When she graduate high school most likely she will attend one of the top college in Manila. Moving back to the U.S. for her college would be too costly, that and medical insurance for she and mom. Well mom could get a job but that is up to her. The world is changing rapidly with technology and so many things. Asia i believe will someday catch up or get closer to the west. There will be good job opportunities here i do beleive. We plan on steering her to the medical field or some other good professional career. Plus she is a female, she is very talented, can sing and also play the piano good. Tall for her age 5' 3" So maybe she can also be a model. who knows what will happen, might want to get married early although we would not want that to happen. We will just plan and hope things turn okay.

[MikeB]

OP - I was exactly the same age as you when our child was born almost 5 years ago. We were married and living in Cebu province. I’ll share my experience and thoughts. I want to be clear I'm not trying to tell you or any other parent how to raise your child. 

I wasted NO TIME in filing for the CRBA, passport, SS at the Cebu Consulate, I believe he was about 3 months at the time. They just take the docs, collect fees and forward to the US Embassy in Manila, the decision is made by the Consular Officer there. Sometime later a rep from the embassy called me and said they needed more “supporting documents” of our relationship prior to the birth. Or take a DNA test. I admit I was furious with the young woman and I shouldn’t have been, its policy. I have no problem doing a DNA but paying several hundred dollars for that and taking a 4 month old to Manila was not what I wanted to do. I sent them some photos that were dated and I found 1 single email from that time. I pulled the internet headers from the email and explained that they couldn’t be modified. They called me shortly and said the CRBA was approved. If the birth date of the child is less than the 9 months of marriage or if you’re not married you can expect extra scrutiny and possibly the DNA test. They can’t force you to take it but the decision to grant (or not) is theirs’. I would get on this today, the blue passport is worth 1000x its weight in gold. You really owe it to them.

As for raising children in the Phils, when there is a 1st world option there really is no decision. I do not see an upside to raising a child in a 3rd world country. I’m not getting into the specifics but so many reasons. Family values, maybe but that’s it. Just about everything else is on the negative. That’s my opinion based on living there 6 years. I’m sure there are disagreers. It’s been almost a year we have been in the US. Child is doing MUCH better here, wife can apply for citizenship in 2 years. I can tell you it costs a lot more to move back than it did to move over there. A LOT. Worth every penny.

EDIT: My Country of Birth is wrong, it's US and I don't see any option to preview post. Odd.

Edited July 17, 2017 by MikeB