Raising a half-American child in the Philippines

[Mark Berkowitz]

6 minutes ago, MikeB said:

OP - I was exactly the same age as you when our child was born almost 5 years ago. We were married and living in Cebu province. I’ll share my experience and thoughts. I want to be clear I'm not trying to tell you or any other parent how to raise your child. 

I wasted NO TIME in filing for the CRBA, passport, SS at the Cebu Consulate, I believe he was about 3 months at the time. They just take the docs, collect fees and forward to the US Embassy in Manila, the decision is made by the Consular Officer there. Sometime later a rep from the embassy called me and said they needed more “supporting documents” of our relationship prior to the birth. Or take a DNA test. I admit I was furious with the young woman and I shouldn’t have been, its policy. I have no problem doing a DNA but paying several hundred dollars for that and taking a 4 month old to Manila was not what I wanted to do. I sent them some photos that were dated and I found 1 single email from that time. I pulled the internet headers from the email and explained that they couldn’t be modified. They called me shortly and said the CRBA was approved. If the birth date of the child is less than the 9 months of marriage or if you’re not married you can expect extra scrutiny and possibly the DNA test. They can’t force you to take it but the decision to grant (or not) is theirs’. I would get on this today, the blue passport is worth 1000x its weight in gold. You really owe it to them.

As for raising children in the Phils, when there is a 1st world option there really is no decision. I do not see an upside to raising a child in a 3rd world country. I’m not getting into the specifics but so many reasons. Family values, maybe but that’s it. Just about everything else is on the negative. That’s my opinion based on living there 6 years. I’m sure there are disagreers. It’s been almost a year we have been in the US. Child is doing MUCH better here, wife can apply for citizenship in 2 years. I can tell you it costs a lot more to move back than it did to move over there. A LOT. Worth every penny.

EDIT: My Country of Birth is wrong, it's US and I don't see any option to preview post. Odd.

Thanks Mike! My Filipina wife agrees with you.

[AlwaysRt]

I see two separate issues starting showing up in this topic 1st, 100% agreement on filing for citizenship, passport, and SS number ASAP!!! 2nd is the issue of raising them 'back home' or here in the Phils. On this side of the coin it comes down to a personal decision, no 'best answer for everyone' like the 1st issue. People are definitely stay, definitely go, and definitely see either way.

[OnMyWay]

50 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

 

Please read my thread on the exact same subject and you will see how many members said a DNA is required.  If you can get a CRBA without a DNA that is fine but for crying out loud, OnMyWay, you contributed to this thread I will link to so you know darn well where my cynicism is coming from:

 

Dave, in that other thread, you described a friend whose situation had all the red flags, the ones I described in my post.  You said you and his other friends were fairly certain the child was not his.  And his wife would have to file on her own.  And he never applied for a CRBA in all the years the kid has been alive.

Almost everyone agreed, that is a DNA test waiting to happen.

That was a very unique situation and does not describe the average expat that I have seen at the outreaches, and there are many.  Older and younger than my 60 years.  They have a sign in list and there were over 150 CRBA applicants at the last one.

I also like to think that our average daddy here on the forum is of the more upstanding type of expat who has chosen a partner carefully and knows her well enough to know if her kids are his or not, and/or if she is the type to mess around on the side.  Many of our members spend all of their day with their wives, so there is no messing around time.  If someone only lives here part time and the wife/girlfriend is here full time, that is another can of worms.

 

[Kuya John]

Wow seems like there is a baby boom going on in Philippines....Life really is much more fun in the Philippines.

To be honest I can't begin to imagine what parenthood would be like over 60,but each to their own.

As far as it goes, I would think that certainly, as a child they would get more personal attention in Philippines

Most families are only to willing to give their love and time to new family members, (my wife absolutely adores her niece's baby boy)

So yes, if I was to father a child at that stage, my option would be Philippines in the early years and then look at University places when ability was established,

 

[Jack Peterson]

11 hours ago, MikeB said:

I don't see any option to preview post. Odd.

 Top row Icons, second  from left on reply panel,  spyglass will get you there Mike,

 BTW off topic a Little but hope your Health is doing good too

 

Jack,

Morning All

[jpbago]

 

12 hours ago, MikeB said:

As for raising children in the Phils, when there is a 1st world option there really is no decision. I do not see an upside to raising a child in a 3rd world country. I’m not getting into the specifics but so many reasons. Family values, maybe but that’s it.

Raising a child in Philippines does gain on experiencing family values, in some families, but also there are plenty of bad habits that can be picked up from some family members or from the child's peers.

[Gary D]

I think with the question of where to educate a child you need to do one or the other, mixing there education could be messy. If you start your child in the Philippines I can see them struggling to reach a suitable western university entry level, unless a lot of extra work is put in. Going in the other direction they are likely to be far ahead of their peers at any given time as western education tend to start earlier.

[MikeB]

9 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

 Top row Icons, second  from left on reply panel,  spyglass will get you there Mike,

 BTW off topic a Little but hope your Health is doing good too

 

Jack,

Morning All

Thanks Jack, I knew it had to be somewhere. I'm good, getting old but beats the alternative I guess. Hope you are good.

All the best.

[Jack Peterson]

56 minutes ago, MikeB said:

Thanks Jack, I knew it had to be somewhere. I'm good, getting old but beats the alternative I guess. Hope you are good.

All the best.

 Good to hear. Yeah! me and mine are fine and the Guys will appreciate you raising you head, We were only talking about you (Nicely) the other day at a meet on the Boulevard here in Dumaguete. Maybe some will chip in on here but Great to hear you are doing OK

Jack

[Dave Hounddriver]

2 hours ago, MikeB said:

I'm good

Good to see your input Mike.  Hope you have found your peace moving back to the US of A.