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I am a fairly new member of this group.  I married a wonderful Filipina almost three years ago, and we have a daughter, who is almost two.  I also have twins (boy and girl), almost sixteen, from a previous marriage.  We all live together in one big happy (mostly) family.  The twins love their tiny sister, and she has made our family life much richer.  My wife is cheerful, kind, loving, and non-judgmental, which is the opposite of my ex, and which is such a great example for the older two.

I am 57, and thinking about retirement five or ten years from now, with an eye on moving to Cebu.  I have a whole lot of things to balance between now and then, such as getting the twins through college (if they choose that path), and beginning education for my two-year-old.   

I need advice from anyone with insight into the hidden issues I may be facing, so I can fully consider them.  Here is a list of things I am trying to get my head around.  Any additional issues and any comments on them would be greatly appreciate.

  • My wife thinks it would be hard for the little one to grow up in the Philippines and then transition back to college and work in the US, should she choose that path
  • I am worried that moving there would separate me irreparably from my older two.  If I am a long plane flight away from them, I am concerned I would loose connection with them, and I would not "be there for them" if they needed some Dad time.
  • Retirement scares me, I want to be able to fill my time with interesting things.  Although I've visited the Philippines, I've never been in country for more than a couple of weeks at a time.  Do things get a lot different long term?
  • Both my parents have passed.  I want my youngest to be able to spend time with her maternal grandmother (grandfather has passed).  I think this is a very important factor, because she needs to understand her Filipino roots, and bask is some of the great Filipino love only her grandmother can provide.
  • Education for my young daughter is important.  I've piggybacked on another post to ask a couple questions on home schooling.  Any advice on schooling (at-home or in-school) would be appreciated.
  • Visits back home - how often do people go, and do you miss your home country.
  • I am a big Soccer and American Football fan.  I will want to follow the Seattle Sounders and the Seattle Seahawks teams, plus several college teams, including my Alma Mater, the University of Washington, and the University of Hawaii (my adopted home).  I know the Internet will help with this.  Should I consider a satellite dish, and would you recommend it or is cable sufficient?
  • Are there things I would never think about until living there that I could easily plan for that are not even on my radar?
  • Is living in the province (in this case Catmon Cebu) preferable or should I stick somewhat closer to a larger city (such a the greater Cebu City area)?
  • What issues with Banking should I plan ahead for?
  • What items are unexpectedly expensive?
  • Are there any dangers that would be of concern once living there?

Thanks in advance for any advice and comments you all may offer.

 

Edited by Reedster

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It sounds like your wife would prefer to stay in the U.S.  What would be the main reason for retiring in PH?  Financial?

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2 minutes ago, OnMyWay said:

It sounds like your wife would prefer to stay in the U.S.  What would be the main reason for retiring in PH?  Financial?

One of the reasons is to give my daughter a chance to bond with her maternal grandmother (the only living grandparent she has).  Another is because my wife, although she is a great sport about it, misses her mother, brother, and extended family.  Another is my view that with high tech and the Internet, the location one lives is getting less and less important.  Financial is also an issue.  

 

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Hi Reedster,

You have a lot to consider relating to making a permanent move here. It sounds like you have a good family situation and life right now which is great for you, Catmon btw at this time is a safe and lovely town in the north of Cebu City, and close enough to the city to make visits there pretty easy.

The thing is, a lot can happen and a five or ten year plan might be a little difficult to judge. If you go through many of the informative posts and topics here on the forum, you might learn the answers or gain more insights as you go along, to many of your concerns and questions. I've been here three years now, and a lot of time prior I spent online at sites getting as much homework in to make my transition easier. It helped me a lot to read about how others had  already dealt with situations I was concerned about.

  Maybe in the meantime,  you and your wife and youngest could possibly just fit in some more visits to the Philippines to try to help gauge your future situation too, and give your youngest daughter a chance to get to know her grandmother a little.

You are not alone in your dreams and desires to make a move here, and having plans are a great start. No matter what you choose, I wish you well with your future decisions. 

 

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42 minutes ago, Reedster said:

I am worried that moving there would separate me irreparably from my older two.  If I am a long plane flight away from them, I am concerned I would loose connection with them, and I would not "be there for them" if they needed some Dad time.

You are talking 5-10 years making them 21-26. That puts them off to college or off to do their own thing. That may make them a long flight away or a longer flight away. Either distance you are more likely to be on the phone or video chat on Skype etc. which would scratch this off the concerns list. If you have a good relationship with them already moving here shouldn't cause any harm, much less irreparable. Heck, they may look forward for an excuse to visit the Philippines.

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And I thought I was the only one with worries.

Joking aside ,5 - 10 years is a very long time ,but also a very quick time too, our plan was 10 years and now out of the time just 17 months are left.

We don't have any children between us  so it's just the two of us , so the only proper advice I can give you is SAVE , save as much as you can because time will catch you up and those ten years will  go bay so quick.

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1 minute ago, stevewool said:

And I thought I was the only one with worries.

Joking aside ,5 - 10 years is a very long time ,but also a very quick time too, our plan was 10 years and now out of the time just 17 months are left.

We don't have any children between us  so it's just the two of us , so the only proper advice I can give you is SAVE , save as much as you can because time will catch you up and those ten years will  go bay so quick.

Good points Steve. My only observation is that concerns and issues over the years having to do with the Philippines might  possibly change dramatically over time, and how it is presently might be very different in 5 to ten years. All the more reason to keep abreast of happenings as you go along. 

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2 hours ago, Reedster said:
  • My wife thinks it would be hard for the little one to grow up in the Philippines and then transition back to college and work in the US, should she choose that path
  • I am worried that moving there would separate me irreparably from my older two.  If I am a long plane flight away from them, I am concerned I would loose connection with them, and I would not "be there for them" if they needed some Dad time.

Wow.  One of the things I wanted to do later was write a book.  Your post covers about one fifth of the questions I would plan to answer in that book.  Anyway, to help you a little I'll take a short poke at the two above.  We planed or move for about 10 years.  Ten months after my retirement at age 55, we made the move.  Of course bringing along our 10 year old daughter who just finished the fourth grade in the US.  We enrolled her in DLSU for the fifth grade and now she is in the sixth.  The first year was hard for her but now she is loving school here.  Our hope for her is to attend college here and return to the USA for work.  I don't see any issue with that at all.  As of now she still wants to become a specialized vet treating mid-sized animals.  With the cost of college, I would never recommend the USA for college.  But that is me and I'm sure others would have differing ideas.

I also have two children (ages 35 & 37) and four grandchildren(-1 to 14).  We talk as much or more now than when I was back home.  Magic Jack, skype, viber, email, iphone, messaging, and more.  We are all very close.  My daughter is divorced raising a son.  She loves Jeeping and always asking about repair issues as well as home repairs.  The hardest one was my son's wife cheating and there were a few weeks of all night calls because of the time difference.  Between me and his wife parents and more so to one of my best friends who is a pastor, they worked through it and now just had a third child.   All is well.  That has been the only time I heard one of them wish I were back home.  But I know he realizes that dad loves him and will always be there for him.  As I am typing this, I just got word his oldest daughter fell yesterday at the pool and hit her head.  Time to make a call.  Good luck. 

 

*Added note*    from my daughter-in-law FB:         This little lady had a rough day yesterday. She went to a pool party at a friends house, slid off the side of the pool and smacked the back of her head on the bricks as she fell in. The ER did a head CT to rule out a brain bleed. Thank God it's only a concussion (her second one in 6 years). She really scared us. She's going to be taking it easy for a few days which is fine with me because that means I get snuggles which are few and far between from a 9 year old. ❤️

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3 hours ago, Queenie O. said:

Maybe in the meantime,  you and your wife and youngest could possibly just fit in some more visits to the Philippines to try to help gauge your future situation too, and give your youngest daughter a chance to get to know her grandmother a little.

 

Definitely!  We've already been once and are coming again soon.

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3 hours ago, AlwaysRt said:

You are talking 5-10 years making them 21-26. That puts them off to college or off to do their own thing. That may make them a long flight away or a longer flight away. Either distance you are more likely to be on the phone or video chat on Skype etc. which would scratch this off the concerns list. If you have a good relationship with them already moving here shouldn't cause any harm, much less irreparable. Heck, they may look forward for an excuse to visit the Philippines.

Good point! 

I know once I finished college I never looked back and was on my own, with infrequent visits to my parents, and took off working in Hawaii, then soon Asia, and they stayed in the city of my birth.

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