Civility as an expat dealing with Filipinos

[Jack Peterson]

11 minutes ago, Snowy79 said:

I find the only time the locals aren't civil is when queuing. I've lost count of the times someone pushes in and it's mainly women. 

 They don't Consider that Civil to them, that is Normal 

[sonjack2847]

2 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

 They don't Consider that Civil to them, that is Normal 

You`re road.

[OnMyWay]

44 minutes ago, sonjack2847 said:

You`re road.

Have you seen the new satire video on "road"?  Funny!

[sonjack2847]

8 minutes ago, OnMyWay said:

Have you seen the new satire video on "road"?  Funny!

I`ve seen none of them I just see what my wife`s family write,and they are not very forgiving towards that lady.

[lobojohn]

On 5/2/2018 at 10:30 AM, Snowy79 said:

I find the only time the locals aren't civil is when queuing. I've lost count of the times someone pushes in and it's mainly women. 

yes its very normal here and one of my pet peeves , but ive been pleased to see as many clerks push them back to their own places verbally. wheres theres room for one at a counter there will be 4-5 there with their arms stretched out in in front of you to be served? hahahahaaha if its in your local town and you are known to be a fair guy to all,  then its quite ok to ask them to wait their turn. politely , but firmly. 

[Clermont]

43 minutes ago, lobojohn said:

wheres theres room for one at a counter there will be 4-5 there with their arms stretched out in in front of you to be served? hahahahaaha

Thank god they've only short arms, we can out reach them. 

[Queenie O.]

Sometimes when people push ahead in a line that bothers me, but sometimes when you're waiting to be waited on in a shop, and someone is more aggressive, and the clerk will sometimes address their purchase first. The lack of "please and thank you" is a real issue here for me, among some adults and children too. Outspoken gossip about another not in the company of people is done here a lot too. No standing up on a bus to give a seat to an older person or one with a baby/child etc. seems odd to me. It seems that when I was here as a Peace Corps in the early eighties people seemed kinder and more formal with each other. Maybe that's my own impression now though. Sign of the times maybe..

[marine6357]

29 minutes ago, Queenie O. said:

Sometimes when people push ahead in a line that bothers me, but sometimes when you're waiting to be waited on in a shop, and someone is more aggressive, and the clerk will sometimes address their purchase first. The lack of "please and thank you" is a real issue here for me, among some adults and children too. Outspoken gossip about another not in the company of people is done here a lot too. No standing up on a bus to give a seat to an older person or one with a baby/child etc. seems odd to me. It seems that when I was here as a Peace Corps in the early eighties people seemed kinder and more formal with each other. Maybe that's my own impression now though. Sign of the times maybe..

You are so right Queenie O. but this is not restricted to just the Philippines. I am still living here in the US but see this same attitude form the younger generation here also. I go for my morning coffee everyday to the same Tim Hortons and it seems that the older people working there always say thank you and your welcome as where the younger ones look at me as if I had a 3rd eye or something and never show any sort of appreciation of my patronage. Ah to go back in time when manners were taught and everyone had them.

[Queenie O.]

1 hour ago, marine6357 said:

You are so right Queenie O. but this is not restricted to just the Philippines. I am still living here in the US but see this same attitude form the younger generation here also. I go for my morning coffee everyday to the same Tim Hortons and it seems that the older people working there always say thank you and your welcome as where the younger ones look at me as if I had a 3rd eye or something and never show any sort of appreciation of my patronage. Ah to go back in time when manners were taught and everyone had them.

Agreed Marine. Manners and general civility is sorely lacking for many all over the world. I grew up learning that manners were a natural and positive thing to have. It was important that we raised our son to respect and be sensitive to people. Not sure if it's a generational thing either though. People either have manners or they don't it seems. 

The Filipino people in general are thought by many to be very friendly people, but the way some act, it doesn't always reflect that in the society. Also,  I know folks that are more well off and educated here, and their ways with people are really lacking. Some very poor family have good manners, and their children are naturally polite, respectful and genuine. As Brett and Jack said I guess it's best to be yourself and treat others as you'd like to be treated. The Philippines is my reality now, so I have to adapt and come to terms with the frustrations of what I might observe here sometimes.

[OnMyWay]

2 minutes ago, Queenie O. said:

Agreed Marine. Manners and general civility is sorely lacking for many all over the world. I grew up learning that manners were a natural and positive thing to have. It was important that we raised our son to respect and be sensitive to people. Not sure if it's a generational thing either though. People either have manners or they don't it seems. 

The Filipino people in general are thought by many to be very friendly people, but the way some act, it doesn't always reflect that in the society. Also,  I know folks that are more well off and educated here, and their ways with people are really lacking. Some very poor family have good manners, and their children are naturally polite, respectful and genuine. As Brett and Jack said I guess it's best to be yourself and treat others as you'd like to be treated. The Philippines is my reality now, so I have to adapt and come to terms with the frustrations of what I might observe here sometimes.

On the rare occasion that a Filipino here holds the door open for me, I really try to thank them.  Same in driving.  If some one does something like let me in to traffic, I give them a wave and maybe a friendly beep on the horn.  I have hope that things can change over time.

Today we were caught in bad traffic.  2 lanes merging into 1 due to construction.  So the rude "me first" crowd makes a third lane on the shoulder, which makes the final bottleneck even worse, and slows everyone down even more.  I was talking to my wife about it, and as she has said before, everyone here grows up being taught it is "dog eat dog" and if you don't fight for your spot, you will be left behind.  Very sad to see kids brought up like that.  I have to admit it brings out my bad side, and I am not going to let the "me first" crowd in the third lane squeeze in in front of me!  If someone in the normal 2 lanes puts on their blinker and politely wants to squeeze in, I will let them in.