Blessing our new Home?

[Jake]

This is an off shoot from Kevin's (SonJack) post about his new home.  I'm sure you guys had some unique stories to tell about the various ways to bless your new home, property or new vehicle.  I'm sure this subject was discussed before.  Perhaps the mods can move this to the proper thread?  

For those on the cheap (like me), I would hire this pole dancer to entertain your house guests, as you celebrate the blessing of your new man cave: 

[JJReyes]

Go to the local Catholic church parish office and they will give you a sheet listing prices for all kinds of services including house blessing.  I believe the charges for a priest doing the blessing is lower than hiring a pole dancer. Besides, installing a pole might cause damage to the ceiling. Luckily, in the Philippines, you don't have to purchase liability insurance for a home service pole dancer.

[Old55]

Jake, you are one twisted dude. That’s why I think of you as my brother!

JJ, in Jakes case an exorcism would be the best choice.

[JJReyes]

The fee for an exorcism recently doubled. We would have to all chip in for Jake. There is also an extra charge to remove "dirty" thoughts. Church doctrine is this should have started at an early age or puberty. The prescription is cold showers and separate schools for boys and girls.

(I have a funny feeling this topic has been hijacked and going in a different direction. For a house blessing, invite your neighbors to a party.  All 600 of them.)

[Mike J]

We built a house for the wife's parents several years ago and they wanted it blessed.  There was no discussion of a "fee" but we gave 1000 peso.  Cheap price to pay considering it brought peace of mind to the Papa and Mama. 

[JJReyes]

2 hours ago, Mike J said:

We built a house for the wife's parents several years ago and they wanted it blessed.  There was no discussion of a "fee" but we gave 1000 peso.  Cheap price to pay considering it brought peace of mind to the Papa and Mama. 

It is considered a voluntary "donation" to avoid problems with the Bureau of Internal Revenue. But there is a sheet at the parish office with suggested amounts. Some call it "fees" while others call it a "contribution." If you are considered a person of wealth within the community, you are suppose to give even a larger amount than what is suggested. 

There is a parish church at the shopping center next to Forbes Park that is considered the richest in the Philippines. Very popular for weddings because everyone knows the "voluntary contribution" is very high.  So the bride and groom and their families must be persons of high status and wealth if they can afford it. By the way, if you want a monsignor, bishop or cardinal for a house blessing or wedding, the amount expected is even higher.  

[Dave Hounddriver]

2 hours ago, JJReyes said:

It is considered a voluntary "donation" to avoid problems with the Bureau of Internal Revenue.

Are you suggesting that even the church cheats the taxman?  Oh, the horror!  Whatever happened to "give unto Caesar those things that are Caesar's"?   Or is the Pope the new Caesar?  Joke lang, we all know how it works.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Before we moved in someone came and put pig blood crosses on the house.  I don't know who did it or how much it cost - I was not told about it until after the fact, but they did stop me when I started to wash that crap off my house (can't be good for the paint). I don't know if it was a witch doctor or a priest, there seems to be very little difference here...  

[Jollygoodfellow]

2 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Are you suggesting that even the church cheats the taxman? 

I thought all church dealings are tax free? 

[Mick]

When we built some houses, they sacrificed chickens and put the blood in the foundations, and also coins, then the house we bought to live in, the priest came chucked water everywhere and emptied the fridge......