How or has your son or daughter experienced "bullying" here in the Philippines?

[Gratefuled]

I'm curious because in the states my sons never had that problem. Here in the Philippines my stepson, now 18 experienced what could be called "bullying", once. 

He is 5'7" and lean not skinny. Not a wimp but very athletic. Ok, So, his mother has him enrolled in a good very strict Catholic school here. 

Once, when eating his lunch, he closed his eyes to pray and give thanks, (Grace). A boy stole part of his lunch when his eyes were closed. He did  not know who stole it but a girl saw who it was and reported him. The school confronted the boy and he admitted it. He, the boy, was expelled. 

I was surprised because no need for the boy to do that. My stepson will share part of his lunch with his classmates if and when he wants to. No need for him to fight either but he can handle himself well. He just was not raised to react violently or to fight unnecessarily. 

Like I said, he is 18 and a year behind his classmates so he is bigger than most and very athletic. So, if he had reacted differently and caused a fight then both would have been expelled.

Neither my wife nor I have ever heard of any "bullying" here in the Philippines, especially not at a Catholic school. With this said, I know how much "bullying" goes on in the states. So, kinda glad my stepson is getting his education here and not there.

What about you? What have you heard or experienced?

[Mike J]

What you describe really does not sound like bullying.  Sounds more like either the boy though it would be funny to take a part of someone's lunch while praying, or he was hungry enough to steal food.  I expect the prior to be the most likely.  I have not seen or heard of any bullying during the five years I have lived here.  

[Old55]

We have a member who's daughter was bullied and the school ignored it completely. 

[sonjack2847]

There was a very publicised case of bullying in Atteneo university Manila

[OnMyWay]

2 hours ago, Mike J said:

What you describe really does not sound like bullying.

It is hard to say without specifics.  The definition of bullying has expanded since we were kids.

1 hour ago, sonjack2847 said:

There was a very publicised case of bullying in Atteneo university Manila

https://news.abs-cbn.com/sports/12/24/18/taekwondo-association-to-ban-ateneo-student-dismissed-for-bullying

This is very unusual here and caught on video, so it makes the news.  In the U.S., in some areas, this is daily stuff and probably many are on video.

1 hour ago, Old55 said:

We have a member who's daughter was bullied and the school ignored it completely. 

Perhaps he can update us on the outcome at school.  We had a long offline conversation about this as I have a daughter of similar age and two young daughters who will go to school here.

Overall, my impressions are that bullying is much worse in the U.S. schools.

I had a talk with my 14 year old a while back and mentioned what my U.S. middle school was like in the late 60's.  First, I asked her if there was any bullying at her school, First School.  She said she absolutely doesn't think so and everyone gets along.  Physically, it is a small school with no real outdoor fields, etc., and they have about 500 students, from pre-school to grade 12 now.  I told her about my middle school, grades 7-8, in California.  There were many cliques and gangs, even though it was middle class southern California.  Fights were common, even girl fights, often between Latinos and others.  The poorer Latinos tended to be in "gangs".  In those days, we had big playing fields where the kids could spread out away from supervision, and thus the problems would occur.  You really don't see that type of thing in schools here, I think.  My daughter said, "just like the movies!" and I said that the movies exaggerate it, but somewhat like that.

[Gratefuled]

6 hours ago, Mike J said:

What you describe really does not sound like bullying.  Sounds more like either the boy though it would be funny to take a part of someone's lunch while praying, or he was hungry enough to steal food.  I expect the prior to be the most likely.  I have not seen or heard of any bullying during the five years I have lived here.  

There are different degrees of bullying. 

Calling a person names is one. There are others. All different degrees of bullying but still bullying.

[Gratefuled]

5 hours ago, Old55 said:

We have a member who's daughter was bullied and the school ignored it completely. 

Did anyone report it?  Did the girl or her parents complain?  Sorry to hear this but I'm sure it is not an isolated case.

[Gratefuled]

3 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

It is hard to say without specifics.  The definition of bullying has expanded since we were kids.

https://news.abs-cbn.com/sports/12/24/18/taekwondo-association-to-ban-ateneo-student-dismissed-for-bullying

This is very unusual here and caught on video, so it makes the news.  In the U.S., in some areas, this is daily stuff and probably many are on video.

Perhaps he can update us on the outcome at school.  We had a long offline conversation about this as I have a daughter of similar age and two young daughters who will go to school here.

Overall, my impressions are that bullying is much worse in the U.S. schools.

I had a talk with my 14 year old a while back and mentioned what my U.S. middle school was like in the late 60's.  First, I asked her if there was any bullying at her school, First School.  She said she absolutely doesn't think so and everyone gets along.  Physically, it is a small school with no real outdoor fields, etc., and they have about 500 students, from pre-school to grade 12 now.  I told her about my middle school, grades 7-8, in California.  There were many cliques and gangs, even though it was middle class southern California.  Fights were common, even girl fights, often between Latinos and others.  The poorer Latinos tended to be in "gangs".  In those days, we had big playing fields where the kids could spread out away from supervision, and thus the problems would occur.  You really don't see that type of thing in schools here, I think.  My daughter said, "just like the movies!" and I said that the movies exaggerate it, but somewhat like that.

Yes, the incident at Ateneo Manila is what prompted my question. Yes again, in the states it happens a lot, especially in public schools. Girls bully other girls and boys bully other boys. Boys have been known to bully girls also. Like I said, I'm glad my stepson is studying here and not there. Even when he attends university, it will be here in the Philippines.

[Kuya John]

Gratefuled.

Firstly, glad to see that you are still around having presented this post.

I would see this as a practical joke, well in the UK.

However as pointed out in some cases it might be need ( I doubt it at a high school)

It's Christmas, a time for forgiving, a time for charity and understanding.

If I was your step-son I would go to the Principle and plead that he/ she give the boy concerned a second chance.

A chance for him to say sorry, I won't do that again and reinstate him.

After all if we can't forgive, how can we be expecting of forgiveness ourselves.

We may not be able to heal the world, put let each of us forgive someone who offended us, a second chance. .....just my 2 cents

Edited December 26, 2018 by Kuya John

[intrepid]

On 12/26/2018 at 9:58 AM, OnMyWay said:

On 12/26/2018 at 7:46 AM, Old55 said:

We have a member who's daughter was bullied and the school ignored it completely. 

Perhaps he can update us on the outcome at school.  We had a long offline conversation about this as I have a daughter of similar age and two young daughters who will go to school here.

Although I did not start a post about my daughters incident a while back, I did comment on her situation in another post.  Like many incidents this is a very long story and I’ll try to condense with the update.  Daughter is almost 13 in the seventh grade.  Good looking and taller than average student for her age.  Of course mixed Phil-Am.  First let me state there was nothing  physical about her incident.  Her group of friends started by teasing her about her American accent and then to calling her racial names.  This was done by both boys and girls.  Of course she is all girl and a little sensitive and I’m sure when they saw how easy they could effect her, they would continue.  She finally reported it to her teacher/advisor on her own without us prepping her.  The teacher listened to her but took no action.  At this point we requested a meeting with the school principal.  After a second request was made two days later it was a Friday and my daughter was so stressed out she refused to go to school.   On Monday when she returned to school I sent along with her an absent excuse explaining she was not in school Friday because of harassment and bulling.  That finally got some attention and we received a call for a meeting with the guidance councilor.  *Note*- I’m still upset that to this date we have never heard a word from the school principal.  So after the meeting we were assured the matter would be handled and the students involved would also be interviewed and meetings with their parents.  She talked to our daughter later after we left.  The next day they talked to several of the students who were involved.  Things cooled down and for over a week we thought the issue had been resolved and things were getting back on track.  Our daughter started spending more time with other students and avoiding the group causing problems when she could.  Then it started again even worse.  This was brought on by one of the girls leaving the bullies and confessing to our daughter everything and how they all conspired to lie to the councilor.  After a few days the this girl had screenshots of conversations with the other bullies which she presented to us and the school administrators. (Oh, this girl is mixed Phil-Chinese and was also racially mocked and name called until she could no longer take it).This same girl also stated she was jealous because our daughter was so pretty and seemed to have many friends easily.  At this point we learned the other parents had never been contacted because the school thought they could handle the issues.  After a family friend who’s is a government lawyer made a few calls some action has been taken and the at this point things seemed to have settled down.  Our daughter is able to focus on her studies and is doing well.  I think everyone has learned some lessons here and especially our daughter.