How or has your son or daughter experienced "bullying" here in the Philippines?

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OnMyWay
Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, intrepid said:

I’ll try to condense with the update

Thanks for the update!  I hope it is smooth sailing going forward!

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Jack Peterson
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Whist we have not had any problems I think it prudent to say that bullying is fast reaching epidemic proportions here in the Philippines, I am sure that none of us wants to admit our kids are not involved either way we should I feel recognise that it is happening more and more each day, So much so that the President made moves to combat it;

http://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1038320

 Sad to say that here it is the survival of the Fittest and the "dog eat doge attitude" that seems to me to be creeping in from other Places, My wife tells me that in her day bullying was dealt with strictly But Today........................ Scratching Head.jpg

what can I sayWho knows (dave (1).jpg

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graham59
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If this was a 'one-off' incident, then I'd say it was more of a prank, rather than bullying. 

At 18 years old and 'athletic'... implications that he can fight, etc,  let the young man leave the nest and stick up for himself now,. 

Reporting someone to the head of school is probably not wise in such a case, and in the Philippines... IMHO

My wife tells me that our live-in niece (just turned 19) has been bullied and made fun of at school.

We just support her emotionally, so that she can develop the strength of character to deal with such immature nonsense. 

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Gratefuled
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21 hours ago, Kuya John said:

Gratefuled.

Firstly, glad to see that you are still around having presented this post.

I would see this as a practical joke, well in the UK.

However as pointed out in some cases it might be need ( I doubt it at a high school)

It's Christmas, a time for forgiving, a time for charity and understanding.

If I was your step-son I would go to the Principle and plead that he/ she give the boy concerned a second chance.

A chance for him to say sorry, I won't do that again and reinstate him.

After all if we can't forgive, how can we be expecting of forgiveness ourselves.

We may not be able to heal the world, put let each of us forgive someone who offended us, a second chance. .....just my 2 cents:tiphat:

Advice noted but it's not my call. Once in a while one has to take responsibility for ones actions. Perhaps the boy who stole part of his lunch should be the first to apologize,  To take it from there " to forgive is devine". Remember, there is no forgiveness without repentance. I'll leave it at that.

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Gratefuled
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4 hours ago, graham59 said:

If this was a 'one-off' incident, then I'd say it was more of a prank, rather than bullying. 

At 18 years old and 'athletic'... implications that he can fight, etc,  let the young man leave the nest and stick up for himself now,. 

Reporting someone to the head of school is probably not wise in such a case, and in the Philippines... IMHO

My wife tells me that our live-in niece (just turned 19) has been bullied and made fun of at school.

We just support her emotionally, so that she can develop the strength of character to deal with such immature nonsense. 

It was not, I repeat "NOT" my stepson who reported the boy. It was a girl. My stepson did not know who took his lunch. On your other comment, yes, he is athletic but he has never had a fight. I'm not going to make him into a fighter. If he is in a fight, I'm sure he can handle himself. If not, he will learn the hard way but he doesn't live in a nest as you seem to imply.

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Arizona Kid
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My son is in a private Catholic school. He's Philam. 7th grade. In 3rd grade he came home from school with the service and was upset and crying with a torn shirt. He said he was bullied. Of course me being me I overreacted and went straight to the school to confront the Principal. They had classes on bullying the next day. Found out later it was just playing. I had to apologize and I felt like an idiot. But that's normal for me. Sometimes I AM an idiot. 

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Gratefuled
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Reporting someone to the head of school is probably not wise in such a case, and in the Philippines

 

Well. like I said, it was NOT my stepson who reported the incident.  Yes, it is severe consequences for what he did. I do not know the history behind the kid. Maybe, just maybe he has a history of misbehavior and the school decided this was the last straw. I don't know. If that was the case, then good riddance.  Yes, if this happened in the states and to one of my boys, the result would have been different, I assure you. My stepson is an only child but far from being spoiled. He had some bad habits before that have been taken care of. He is mature and acts his age. Not short tempered but not a wimp, I assure you.

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hk blues
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On 12/27/2018 at 10:54 AM, intrepid said:

Although I did not start a post about my daughters incident a while back, I did comment on her situation in another post.  Like many incidents this is a very long story and I’ll try to condense with the update.  Daughter is almost 13 in the seventh grade.  Good looking and taller than average student for her age.  Of course mixed Phil-Am.  First let me state there was nothing  physical about her incident.  Her group of friends started by teasing her about her American accent and then to calling her racial names.  This was done by both boys and girls.  Of course she is all girl and a little sensitive and I’m sure when they saw how easy they could effect her, they would continue.  She finally reported it to her teacher/advisor on her own without us prepping her.  The teacher listened to her but took no action.  At this point we requested a meeting with the school principal.  After a second request was made two days later it was a Friday and my daughter was so stressed out she refused to go to school.   On Monday when she returned to school I sent along with her an absent excuse explaining she was not in school Friday because of harassment and bulling.  That finally got some attention and we received a call for a meeting with the guidance councilor.  *Note*- I’m still upset that to this date we have never heard a word from the school principal.  So after the meeting we were assured the matter would be handled and the students involved would also be interviewed and meetings with their parents.  She talked to our daughter later after we left.  The next day they talked to several of the students who were involved.  Things cooled down and for over a week we thought the issue had been resolved and things were getting back on track.  Our daughter started spending more time with other students and avoiding the group causing problems when she could.  Then it started again even worse.  This was brought on by one of the girls leaving the bullies and confessing to our daughter everything and how they all conspired to lie to the councilor.  After a few days the this girl had screenshots of conversations with the other bullies which she presented to us and the school administrators. (Oh, this girl is mixed Phil-Chinese and was also racially mocked and name called until she could no longer take it).This same girl also stated she was jealous because our daughter was so pretty and seemed to have many friends easily.  At this point we learned the other parents had never been contacted because the school thought they could handle the issues.  After a family friend who’s is a government lawyer made a few calls some action has been taken and the at this point things seemed to have settled down.  Our daughter is able to focus on her studies and is doing well.  I think everyone has learned some lessons here and especially our daughter.

It's always distressing for a parent to read about problems like the above.

Perhaps the biggest lesson we can learn from the above is do not trust or expect the school to resolve the issue until they are faced with no alternative. Ignore and sweep under the carpet strategy which is usually applied to problems here.

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hk blues
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18 hours ago, Gratefuled said:

It was not, I repeat "NOT" my stepson who reported the boy. It was a girl. My stepson did not know who took his lunch. On your other comment, yes, he is athletic but he has never had a fight. I'm not going to make him into a fighter. If he is in a fight, I'm sure he can handle himself. If not, he will learn the hard way but he doesn't live in a nest as you seem to imply.

I understand your point of view - really I do. But, I think many of us are struggling with correlating what happened to what punishment was meted out. Honestly speaking, what you describe would be considered as a mere prank by most if us, not an act of bullying, and worthy of no more than a sternish talking to. It just seems like an all-round over reaction. I am basing this on the assumption that this is an isolated incident. 

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hk blues
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I'll just throw this in here although it's not really related - the term PhilAm is often used. I wonder why it is prevalent yet we don't define other mixed blood people i.e. I've never come across a PhilBrit! 

I ask because it reminds me so much of my time in Hong Kong where people were so quick to try to establish a pecking order that they would define themselves as ABC (American born Chinese) BBC (British born Chinese) or CBC (Canadian born Chinese). It was all clearly done to elevate themselves to a status above simply Chinese. For me, it was distasteful and I hated to hear people define themselves in such a way.

I don't wish to offend anyone by asking the question - I genuinely wonder if it's done for the same reasons as in Hong Kong or China or is it for another reason?

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