Maid to order? We have a dilemma!

[Jollygoodfellow]

1 hour ago, OnMyWay said:

I agree for the same reasons.

The other thing I would do personally is random strip searches but others may not  

[OnMyWay]

3 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

Lets ask the OP why the maid is no longer at her long time job from before? 

OK, a bit of a long story.  Last November this girl stopped by and asked about working for us.  The maid across the street told her we needed a maid.  The maid across the street is another hard worker and friends with my wife as they both love to garden.  The other maid in that household is the one that stiffed us in a story I told before here, so we don't talk to her anymore.  In any case, all three of these maids together at various times for a wealthy family down the street.

So the girl said she was going to go home at Christmas and when she came back, she would resign and come over to us.  Then in December, she texted and said she decided to stay with the other family.  Then in January, she texted and said she had left and would come work for us.

We didn't know at the time why exactly she was leaving, but after she started she told my wife more.  The wealthy family actually has two huge houses on their property.  In one house lives the matriarch of the family and that is who our maid was currently working for.  We don't know her.  In the other house lives her son and his family, who we know.  Their daughters both went to school with our daughters last year, but this year their older one started Kinder at Brent Int'l school.  The son is also a deacon at our church, so we see them there too.

As I understand it now, the maid payments at this family were different than we usually hear about.  The maids have their own small apartment building with it's own kitchen.  So they get a salary plus food allowance in order to buy food supplies.  Our maid says the main reason she left was because the matriarch cut out the food allowance.  So they basically took a pay cut.  My wife also gets the impression that the matriarch is old school and treats the staff (4 of them in a 5 bedroom house that only she lives in) a bit harshly.

Our maid started on a Saturday.  I was a bit worried about "stealing" a maid from a very rich a powerful family.  On Sunday, we all went to church, and the son, the deacon, was there with his family.  There was a very sweet moment.  S, the 5 year old older daughter, had been nannied by our maid when she was a toddler.  S came up to our maid and hugged her, and said, "you will always be my nanny!".  Some happy tears were shed!  So then my wife was able to talk to the wife about our maid.  She said, "no worries" about having her work for us and didn't have anything negative to say about her.

[OnMyWay]

3 hours ago, Clermont said:

I'm in agreement with JGF, give the girl a break, she worked in her last employment for years and if she was a thief i'm sure her last employee would have wised you up. Another thing, you have put up two other scenarios that are a possibility but instead of entrapment, just have a good family conversation with her in attendance about your stance on thieving and trust you bestow on the family and make her feel as though it is part of her job to teach the children what is wright and wrong.  

Don, be careful about branding a maid with the tag of a thief, it sticks with them for life and with no actual proof, you could be branded yourself. 

That is what I said to my wife after the necklace went missing.  As far as I know this girl worked for a wealthy family for 5 years without issue and I don't want to mistakenly ruin her reputation.

The son in the family told me before they did have a maid problem once.  They had a long term maid / nanny they liked a lot and they even took her with them on a Christmas vacation to Norway a few years ago.  A few months after they got back, she was caught red handed with some expensive jewelry, so they turned her over to the police.

[Jack Peterson]

Unfortunately, it is something we really all do have to come to terms with. They all Steal in various ways, it may be Food (Stored for snacks in their room) trinkets left lying about for months, small change even ( and who's fault is this?) and the precious thing is Time. We are lucky just now in that the one we have will tell us if things are left about over days BUT we have had many that were just outright Tealeaves catch them and they have all the excuses under the sun, we give them the chance to either repay (If it is Money) make amends in some way or just go Home. Another thing we have to adjust to I am afraid and it goes under the Banner of "Haves and Have Nots" 

Edited January 24, 2019 by Jack Peterson
Spelling AGAIN

[OnMyWay]

21 minutes ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

The other thing I would do personally is random strip searches but others may not  

My wife already had a talk with me about my fidelity.  The maid is a bit cute.  Then yesterday she was wearing something that was slightly revealing, and my wife brought me in for another talk!    I went out to run errands and when I got back, the maid had changed into something else.  I'm not sure if my wife said something to her.

No worries from my side.  I'm not a hound dog and my family is #1 in my life!

[Jack Peterson]

  How Odd. I mentioned to my wife a while ago that this had come up again and she said well honey, it is not just you (foreigners) I have office mates that suffer as well, over the last Month 3 of them have caught thier maids out stealing and have let them Go, Seems that anyone with Money or a good Job ( Which is why we have the help) is a Target if left unchecked I would never stoop so low as to put a "Honey Trap" about but I do keep a check on things regularly what is left laying about. ie never leave cash about, Check on Overcooking when a Visit home is on us by the Girls, Even the Lad we had was not Adverse to taking Tools and/or Borrowing without permission.

 Moral! 

Be Vigilant at all times and do plenty of Homework on the family of Our helpers, ( You know, when you come home so & so can you bring Things cos your dad/Brother is out of work again)

It is not always easy but  life was never ever easy was it? another thing we have stopped is Cash Advances ( just in case we need to send them Home and owing)  Says me here when my wife is soft on this one and I think she is in for 5.000+ at this time but we have met her family and they seem pretty decent. Then, when she goes home we send a Food Parcel and things for the Kids with her and that can help a lot.

 As I say "That's life" and we sometimes have to at least try and Understand why these Girls /Ladies are away from home earning in the First Place. Yes! it is easy to say they are Bad But.................... Let's think on  

[Clermont]

2 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

As I understand it now, the maid payments at this family were different than we usually hear about.  The maids have their own small apartment building with it's own kitchen.  So they get a salary plus food allowance in order to buy food supplies.  Our maid says the main reason she left was because the matriarch cut out the food allowance.  So they basically took a pay cut.  My wife also gets the impression that the matriarch is old school and treats the staff (4 of them in a 5 bedroom house that only she lives in) a bit harshly.

My wife started out as a maid, way way back in the early 70'S and this was common practice then, get the maid to live in with food supplied and favors and a small wage, then cut their wages for any excuse. If she was not willing to settle for them conditions, out they went, my wife's upbringing wouldn't allow for them conditions. But their were exceptions, she found a wealthy lady that had lost her husband and still had two young children to rear. The long and short of it, the rich lady let my wife earn money to put herself through uni and from her upbringing she taught the children right from wrong. My wife went onto be in charge of accounting in sports admin and traveled the world with the sporting academy. She never married but had 1 son because her father told her she needed a child, when she fell pregnant she hunted the man, (no good lazy bludgers,) and raised the child herself. I have met the children she helped raise and I like to think my wife had a lot to do with their politeness and outlook on life, very fine Filipinos.

So what I'm trying to say is, how you treat your young nanny now, is how they MIGHT turn out later in life, just a fact. 

 

[Jollygoodfellow]

4 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

My wife already had a talk with me about my fidelity.  The maid is a bit cute.  Then yesterday she was wearing something that was slightly revealing, and my wife brought me in for another talk!  

Well if you did a strip search and got caught you have a good excuse that your protecting the family jewels.  

[OnMyWay]

2 hours ago, Clermont said:

So what I'm trying to say is, how you treat your young nanny now, is how they MIGHT turn out later in life, just a fact.

I feel the same way.  Compared to our past maids, this girl is young and seems fairly smart, all things considered.  If she continues to fit in with us and contribute, I don't mind helping her get a leg up in life.

[Jollygoodfellow]

1 hour ago, OnMyWay said:

I don't mind helping her get a leg up

Hope your wife is not reading or you will be looking for a new maid