Maid to order? We have a dilemma!

[OnMyWay]

1 hour ago, sonjack2847 said:

Like most of us it seems you have a habit of losing things, you already found the card, are you sure the chain did not go into the trash as well?

You never know.  Anything is possible.

[Jollygoodfellow]

4 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

You never know.  Anything is possible.

I lost something once when I was still at that impresible age. It was hard knowing after you first realise you lost something you will never get back and there is nothing you can do, no one to blame but yourself. Eventually you get over it and think, WTF, I wish I had of lost my virginity well  before this. 

[TimL]

On 1/24/2019 at 12:09 AM, OnMyWay said:

We have had a new maid / nanny / helper for 2+ weeks now.  She is ideal in most ways: hard worker, knows what to do, loves the kids,  good cook, pleasant to be around.  She is only 19 and was the maid / nanny of one of our wealthy neighbors since she was 14!  We talked with part of that family (it's complicated) and they were ok that she was going to work for us.  I can share more detail at a later time.

Here is the dilemma.  As I said she has been really good in all the usual maid / nanny areas and we enjoy having her here.  Last Wednesday my wife could not find a silver necklace.  It is not extremely valuable, but nice.  She searched hi and lo for 3 days.  On Saturday afternoon, the maid took a day off to go to her sister's house overnight.  When she came back Sunday afternoon, my wife sat her down and directly asked her about the necklace.  She said "no maam, I would never jeopardize my reputation by doing something like that" and swore on a stack of bibles she did not take it.  My wife said she really tried to look for signs of lying, but did not see them.  So, we kept her and things were back to normal.  We have not found the necklace.

So, today, I am looking for a brand new in the package 32 gb memory card for my wife's new phone.  I had it lying around on my desk, last I recall.  I completely cleaned my desk and drawers and everything in the general vicinity, looking for this card.  Still missing.  I got it for free with the phone and I think they are only worth p200-300 lately.

I should mention, we have tried to be careful with valuables since she started.  No more leaving my wallet lying around, etc., and we have a small safe we lock some thing up in.  We have left her at the house alone for short periods, but we lock the door to our bedroom where my wife keeps a few things of value.  There will always be things lying around that you don't consider valuable, but others might.

2.5 weeks and 2 missing small, easy to conceal items.  To be perfectly honest, both my wife and I lose things quite often, so that angle is a worry for us.  And with 2 small kids who like to play with things too.  One of my expensive Trailblazer keys was missing for a few months before we found it in with some of the kids toys.

What to do?  Continue to give her the benefit of the doubt?  Confront her again and/or let her go?  She has really been a great help to us in every other way.  With 2 small kids and a teenage daughter and an old daddy, her help has been a blessing to us in many ways.

Signed,

Dilemma Don

 

Like Ronald Reagan once said, “trust but verify”.

Seems very plausible to me that when you mentioned the flash drive missing that it turns up in the bottom of the trash. If she did in fact take it, she wouldn’t want to get busted with it and prob would be worried at that point of trying to get it out of the house as well. Add to that it was opened and both wrapper and drive are in the bottom of the can?? Your kids doubtfully are going to hide the entire contents, wrapper and all at the bottom of the trash. I smell a rat. Time to get a nanny cam put out some cheese. :) 

[OnMyWay]

6 hours ago, TimL said:

Like Ronald Reagan once said, “trust but verify”.

Seems very plausible to me that when you mentioned the flash drive missing that it turns up in the bottom of the trash. If she did in fact take it, she wouldn’t want to get busted with it and prob would be worried at that point of trying to get it out of the house as well. Add to that it was opened and both wrapper and drive are in the bottom of the can?? Your kids doubtfully are going to hide the entire contents, wrapper and all at the bottom of the trash. I smell a rat. Time to get a nanny cam put out some cheese. :) 

I thought about that possibility (maybe she put it in the trash can) but it really does not add up.

1. I started looking for it Wednesday morning and I was around my desk all day and night, except when we went out.
2. We all went out together until 3 pm.  I think my wife told her I was looking for it, after 3 pm, and I was literally glued to my desk until midnight, clean up and looking for it (and messing around on FB, the forum and internet).  
3. If she put it in the trash can after she knew we were looking for it, that would usually result in it being thrown out and never be found.  She would still be suspect.  Or, her plan could have been to retrieve it from the trash in order to steal it.  That is a common plan in retail, but would not work well here for various reasons.  And result in her still being suspect and having to keep it hidden.
4. I think most of the evidence points to me!  
   1. I had a picture in my mind of what the card and package looked like.  When I found it, I was wrong!  For some reason, Sandisk and black and white packaging was stuck in my mind.  It was a Toshiba with mainly green and white packaging.  The first time I looked in the trash, earlier in the day, I just stuck my hand in and shuffled around.  I could have missed it.
   2. When I wrapped the phone for Xmas, I tore the top part of the Toshiba cardboard off so it could slide into the phone box.  This allows the plastic holding the cards to easily slide out of the remaining cardboard.  When I found them in the trash, it was after I dumped the trash out to sift through it, and they could have easily separated.  See pics.
   3. Due to the packaging being ripped, when looking at the back, it does look like something that could be trashed.  Who knows, may I trashed or my wife or the maid, by mistake!  See last pic.

I think I am guilty! 

However, I had thought about having nanny cams.  Can't hurt.  I already have a plan for outdoor CCTV.  Maybe I can add inside cams.

Pics

 

[Arizona Kid]

Had a housekeeper years ago that was only working for us for about a week. My niece saw her sticking a pack of my smokes in her bra,(when I still smoked) My gf got her to admit it and she fired her on the spot. Once they steal anything..don't trust them.

[nor cal mike]

On 1/23/2019 at 6:00 PM, Jack Peterson said:

  How Odd. I mentioned to my wife a while ago that this had come up again and she said well honey, it is not just you (foreigners) I have office mates that suffer as well, over the last Month 3 of them have caught thier maids out stealing and have let them Go, Seems that anyone with Money or a good Job ( Which is why we have the help) is a Target if left unchecked I would never stoop so low as to put a "Honey Trap" about but I do keep a check on things regularly what is left laying about. ie never leave cash about, Check on Overcooking when a Visit home is on us by the Girls, Even the Lad we had was not Adverse to taking Tools and/or Borrowing without permission.

 Moral! 

Be Vigilant at all times and do plenty of Homework on the family of Our helpers, ( You know, when you come home so & so can you bring Things cos your dad/Brother is out of work again)

It is not always easy but  life was never ever easy was it? another thing we have stopped is Cash Advances ( just in case we need to send them Home and owing)  Says me here when my wife is soft on this one and I think she is in for 5.000+ at this time but we have met her family and they seem pretty decent. Then, when she goes home we send a Food Parcel and things for the Kids with her and that can help a lot.

 As I say "That's life" and we sometimes have to at least try and Understand why these Girls /Ladies are away from home earning in the First Place. Yes! it is easy to say they are Bad But.................... Let's think on  

Jack, please tell us why you think the “honey trap” is stooping low. It seems to me that an opportunistic thief is still a thief and opportunity will always present itself to a dishonest person. Perhaps I’m missing the point of “not stooping that low”  

[Jollygoodfellow]

10 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

I think I am guilty

Looks like it  so now embrace this maid and show her that you trust her because damage in her head may already been done and she may be thinking that you think she is untrustworthy or second class or whatever.

 

[Clermont]

12 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

I think I am guilty! 

It takes a big man to admit he might be to blame and if you put house maid cams in the house, your words are empty and she will know she is still under suspicion. Just keep valuables locked up and if a meal goes missing, so be it, you want to trust her, what about her trust off you. She trusted you and your family to come and work for you, show her that you's trust her.

My old Grandfather used to say, (he'd rather have a thief working for him than a lair, a thief you can keep an eye on a lair you don't know what trouble he will cause.) 

[sonjack2847]

5 hours ago, nor cal mike said:

Jack, please tell us why you think the “honey trap” is stooping low. It seems to me that an opportunistic thief is still a thief and opportunity will always present itself to a dishonest person. Perhaps I’m missing the point of “not stooping that low”  

I think you could turn an honest person into a dishonest one.I think it would be entrapment.I don`t like it either.

[OnMyWay]

4 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

so now embrace this maid

You really want me to get in trouble with my wife, don't you!